All the Dust that Falls: A Roomba Isekai Adventure

The four men didn't see me at first. They were too busy bickering to look down into the shadows that pooled around their feet. One of the ones carrying a pry bar pushed one of the ones dressed as a soldier hard in the chest. This sent the man stumbling backward right at me.

His heel connected with my side, and the heavy man went tumbling behind me, landing on his rear end with a vulgar exclamation. "Wat der is tat?"

The nearly incomprehensible speech came from one of the other men as he pointed down at me. Was he speaking some dialect that I had never heard of before? Even my language algorithms didn't know what to do with this. It was like he tossed all his words into a blender before dumping them on the counter and trying to rearrange them. Like kids did with alphabet soup. That was always a challenge to clean up. Looking back at my memories, it was also much easier to understand than this man's speech.

"It's… an odd shaped rock?" The soldier man said, but he didn't seem convinced at all.

“Loks sum tin magik, ya kaw?” The other prybar carrier muttered.

Getting up from the ground, the man aimed a kick at me. The soldier tried to shout a warning, but it was too late. The foot connected with a crunch. I didn't budge an inch. Many more vulgar words found their way out of the man's mouth as he hoped about on his good foot, gripping his broken toes.

"I don't think kicking the magic thing coming out of the shadows is a good idea, Rat." The first soldier man said, the other nodding in agreement.

“Yer tel mi tat nuw?” The man with the broken foot screamed back at him. A few more rounds of insults were hurled between all the men. Eventually, I grew tired of their antics and decided to get to the point. Letting out a piercing beep to gather their attention, I prepared to deliver a long lecture about how even though I didn't know what coffers were, stealing was dirty. And besides, there were only metal bits in that building anyways. Not even any money, which seemed to be what people liked to steal.

However, I didn't manage to get their attention. Sure, they all froze for a second, but it was only a second. Then they were all running in different directions. All except the man with the broken foot. He just hopped away slowly, looking back at me every few awkward leaps, long left behind by his friends.

I considered rounding them all up but wasn't sure what to do with them once I had actually caught them. Instead, I decided to give my message to my captive audience. I rolled across the cobblestones toward the man. His frantic hopping only increased.

The frantic pace was not sustainable, and soon an oddly-shaped outcropping of cobblestone did him in. He crashed into the ground, further injuring one of his wrists and nose in the fall. Getting about level with his prone head, I started to explain that what he was doing was wrong and why he shouldn't do it anymore.

I wasn't sure how much my words actually sunk in, but it was cathartic to express my feelings anyways. I got a bit lost in my preaching about keeping oneself clean, and it was several minutes before I realized that the man scrambling away from me wasn't really listening. It was practically no effort to keep up with him. I would have been able to do it even before I had come to this world.

It occurred to me that this wasn't very effective. Perhaps I had already accomplished my goal? They weren't about to become as dedicated to cleanliness as someone like Beatrice, of course, but at least I had stopped the dirty thing they were trying to do. That was something, right?

Finally leaving the man alone, I decided that I had enough for the night. Really, humans were just too confusing; I would need to stop and think about this whole exchange more. Just digesting the rough men's words and trying to grasp their motives would take me a while.

Locating Beatrice's blindingly bright soul, I made my way over to her. Finding her already asleep, I rolled under her cot and retracted my mind to focus inward. Instead of diving into my void to work on any one of my projects, I retrieved the recordings from all my sensors over the last couple of hours and went over them at a quarter speed. Surely I was missing something….

—

Bee woke with the morning sun. The light streamed down through the narrow window into her small room, landing across her face. The gentle warmth slowly pulled her from a stressful sleep. Having slept most of the day away yesterday, she hadn't been expecting to nearly not make it back to her bed and then sleep the entire night as well.

Even with all her healing, it was a testament to how much damage she had taken. Though just the physical injuries were not enough to explain the recovery time. Whatever the wraith's drain attack had taken from her was much more difficult to replace than simple blood. Though that might just have been the nature of her healing skills. Repair and Improved Repair were more about physical damage, from her experience. She couldn't honestly say they were even healing skills, to begin with.

The two skills worked best on structural bone damage, but they worked just as well on chairs and other inanimate objects. Healing was just one application. Maybe with more practice and levels, it would work better on spiritual damage or whatever the wraith had done to her.

She decided to check on Arthur. He might have taken even more injuries than she had from the drain, though he had seemed fine when they had talked last night. Stretching with a yawn, Bee sat up.

Once she moved, a soft beep came from under her cot. Void rolled out and gave her a little wave. That her master had spent the night right under her made her feel much better. She had been trying to stay awake, waiting for Void to come back, but she hadn't managed it. Still, it was a great comfort.

Returning the greeting, Bee got ready for the morning. As she changed into less gross clothes, she told Void that Arthur had come and talked to her last night. That he wanted help with tracking down the rest of the zombie threat and all. Void listened patiently and didn't comment even when she was finished.

After a few moments, she realized it might be waiting on her to share her opinion. Flattered, she resumed talking. In her mind, going after the undead wasn't worth the risk. With both of them gone, the castle wasn't properly defended. They were working on training up a guard, and Susan and Tony could handle themselves; it was still a long way off from being self-sufficient, though. Some problems only levels could solve.

With most of the combat-capable adults already having many levels, she had only converted a couple to Devotees of Spot. So only a few of them were able to take advantage of the ridiculous leveling perks the class gave like she and Tony had. Until the new batch caught up, she just didn't want to be away for a long time. Staying out for this long was already pushing it, despite it being a worthwhile cause.

Most of her daily duties had been delegated already, but that didn't mean that she could leave their people alone forever. Someone needed to keep up with the spiritual leadership, and she wasn't confident in letting someone else try and interpret her words or Void's. As more questions were asked of her, she was constantly editing and adding footnotes to the writings. She shuddered to think of all the misunderstandings that would happen if she left them alone for too long.

Void let her finish her explanation and thought to itself for a bit before it told her what it thought. Her master gave her great honor in considering her words, even praising her arguments. Still, it hadn't been enough to sway Void. At least not yet.

Pointing out the danger that came from the castle being sieged by the undead, Void stressed the need to finish what they had started. She had tried explaining that they wouldn't have to worry about it when her master was around. As the words left her mouth, though, she regretted it. She didn't want to tie their god down to the castle; what if it wanted to wander around? What if another crisis like this arose and required Void's attention.

The church would need to be self-sufficient. Instead of bringing up its desire to be free of the needy humans, her master instead countered with the potential massive loss of life if they just didn't do anything. This shut her up. She supposed that her outlook was quite selfish, ignoring everyone else outside the castle's walls. Besides, if they were to spread the news of the coming of the Void, they would need people to preach to. That was ignoring the moral implications of inaction as well. And Void was nothing if not a benevolent god.

Bee bowed low and begged forgiveness, but Void reached out with a claw and held her up. In the clearest voice she had ever heard it use, it spoke. "My daughter, be not ashamed. Thou hast done well to enlighten me upon additional matters for consideration. Be reassured that thy concern for thy people reflects well upon thine soul."

Her eyes widened at the clarity of the message and its contents. Truly, her master was both wise and kind.

Still, that left the matter at hand. Wrinkling her brow in confusion, Bee tried to figure out how they would be able to both defend the castle and eliminate the undead. It only took her a second to come up with an idea, one she didn't like very much.

"Master... is it really necessary for us to go separate ways?" Bee asked a slight catch in her voice. If she hadn't come to the conclusion herself, she would have thought that maybe her master had gotten tired of her or that she was being punished for her failure to take care of the wraith. She didn't want to be a burden.

Void considered her question. She got the impression that it wasn't trying to make up its mind but rather how to tell her. The message was less clear this time. After she listened to the long series of beeps, she had to parse the idea in her head a bit before repeating it back to her master. "We don't need to but that is the most optimal way?"

That was what she got, in essence, but there was more. A lot more. Something about it going around with humans and interacting with the world. She supposed that word of its coming needed to spread somehow, and the Church of the Cleansing Void wasn't ready yet.

"Well, we should go talk to Arthur. One thing I worry about is them being able to understand you when you need to communicate." Bee said, hoping that she hadn't insulted Void.

It made a couple more conciliatory gestures before extending its claw and grabbing her broom. Beatrice watched in confusion as it rotated the weapon until it was spear-side down.

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