All the Dust that Falls: A Roomba Isekai Adventure

The cave was silent except for the soft sound of clinking gold as I continued to neatly organize the contents of the dragon's lair. It was the least I could do after I so rudely interrupted its morning. Once I ensured that the entryway was clear and clean, though, I felt that it was starting to get slightly awkward. Beatrice would never have let the silence stretch on for this long without at least some further attempt at conversation.

I studied my host as I started working a bit deeper into the cave. At this point, my sensors could finally pierce the deep darkness to get a better look at my new friend. The scaled face of the massive reptile didn't seem to share the same expressiveness as human faces. At least not in a way that my emotional detection subroutines could recognize. But it was clear that it was watching me at least as much as I was watching it. Whether or not it was actually counting the coins I stacked, I couldn't tell.

Under its scrutiny, I felt the need to start up a conversation. But what to say?

Eventually, I settled on something banal and slightly complimentary. Focusing on my new skill, I projected words above me. "It's an awfully large amount of coins you got here!"

I shaped the font in the least threatening way I could: large block letters with rounded edges in a variety of colors, just like the ones that the small humans back home liked to use in their art projects. My message was well received as the giant lizard let out a snort of smoke and rumbled with laughter. "It is a mighty hoard, is it not?"

The dragon paused for a second, but I wasn't sure how to respond, so I held my metaphorical tongue. Luckily I didn't need to wait long as the silence was soon filled. "Sadly, I don't get to enjoy the sight of it as much as I would like. Being asleep will do that to you. I suppose that's one positive aspect of being woken up. Even if I was trying to find peace and quiet for a reason…

"I'm quite surprised, actually. not many are capable of finding this place, much less reaching it. Those that do generally have the sense to avoid a dragon's lair." The red reptile paused. "Say, how long have I been asleep for anyway? I bet it's been a while."

Ah, a direct question; I knew how to handle those. I formed new words in the air. "I'm not sure when you went to sleep, mister. I didn't know you were here or else I wouldn't have disturbed your front lawn so rudely. Making a mess was the last thing that I wanted to do. Honest."

There were too many words to put up at once while keeping them readable. So instead of having a massive block of tiny letters, I left them large and had them slowly scroll past. I thought about having them make a second pass, but I didn't want to offend.

"What?! You didn't know who Daedalus the Red was?!" Daedalus cried, real emotion tinging his voice with some mix of confusion and hurt. "Has the world moved on so fast? It couldn't have been more than a thousand years…."

It was surprisingly hard for me to answer that. I had assumed the world always moved at the same speed. But it was nice to know the dragon's name. It felt a little weird, referring to him as just it with no name.

I felt very uncomfortable and decided that it was in my best interest to introduce myself. I politely put up another message. "Hello, Daedalus. My name is Spot."

Dedalus was slightly taken aback and lowered his head to look at me closer.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Spot," he said, still clearly thrown by the previous information. I figured I would clarify the part about the world moving fast, at least.

"By my calculations, and judging based on the distance to the sun and the time of rotation. The earth is moving roughly at 67,000mph. I would give you more detailed numbers, but my sensors aren't really made for long distance Astronomical Surveys."

Daedalus blinked. "Wow. Moving around the sun..."

He trailed off in thought before shaking his head and coming back to his original question, "That really wasn't what I meant by moving fast, Spot. Um, what year is it"?

"Well, from what Beatrice has told me, it is the 23rd year of the rule of the current king."

Wow. Words could be really inefficient sometimes. I could communicate all this so much more quickly with a simple beep if only he understood. I was just lucky Daedalus could read.

In response to my information, Daedalus let out a huff, blowing smoke into the roof of the cave.

Looking up, I realized I might have more work cut out for me than I originally thought. The inside of the cave, especially the roof, was covered in soot. The black, oily substance was at least an inch deep. I could only imagine how many years of smoke breathed into this cave would have caused that much accumulation.

Actually, now that I thought about it, I could probably use that to calculate how long Daedalus had been in the cave. I just need to figure out how fast the soot would accumulate over time. That would probably take me a few weeks of observation, but I didn't really have time for that. Not right now.

"Well, that's not the most helpful. Then, do you know how my companion is doing? The one in the castle, about a valley over from here?" The Red asked.

That certainly sounded like our castle. But a companion? There was no one there nearly so old as this dragon seemed to be. Unless…

I was considering what words to use when Daedalus let out a large sigh, significantly raising the temperature of the room.

"I suppose you wouldn't know that either." The dragon said with a huff. I didn't know exactly, of course, but I had some idea. I pulled up an image from the bottom of the catacombs. After some image processing, I projected a picture of the statue's image in the mounded white room below the castle. I set it at a slight spin so Daedalus could see it from all angles.

"So you do know my companion!" Then the giant head slumped against the still unorganized pile of gold in disappointment. "If he's still in stasis though, then I certainly have no reason to be awake. It feels wrong hoping for one of the demon lieutenants to break free, but it's so boring here. By chance has Nazareth'gak stirred recently? You know, the large demon statue in the castle."

Oh, that demon! I replaced the statue image with a looping recording of the demon breaking out of the statue and charging across the beautiful black floor. Daedalus's head reared up in alarm. "He's already free?! I must go. Quickly! The world is in danger!"

Daedalus lifted his head, revealing the rest of his body. It matched what I had seen so far. A massive reptile body was curled on top of a pile of even more haphazard coins. Among the red scales, three rows of wicked spikes ran down his back: one down the center and two smaller ones to either side of it, marking what looked to be the edge of his back. Massive wings unfurled to either side, hemmed in by the cave's size.

He quickly rose from the pile of coins, the shifting sending small amounts of them tumbling to the ground. Realizing what a mess he was making, Daedalus froze and seemed to consider a less disruptive way to move. "Wait. How old is this recording?"

With some quick math, I displayed the number of seconds since I last laid sensors on the statue. Moving his head some more, he peered outside the cave mouth and scrutinized the world. "If it was this long ago… and you survived… Show me what happened next."

Seeing no reason not to, I played the rest of the fight. Together we watched in silence as I battled the demon. When the undead appeared to help, Daedalus was taken aback, but we didn't stop. After it was over, he asked me to play it again. I complied. Then I went slowly over a few parts of it, paying special attention to the end where I had stabbed into the demon, draining it and eventually consuming it. It seemed like Daedalus cared about those parts specifically.

After we finished analyzing the fight, Daedalus stayed quiet, considering. Eventually, he settled back into the pile of coins, wiggling his body slightly to dig in deeper. "Wow."

I felt the word ring through the air, bouncing off the walls but also impressing the weight of his thoughts into the physical reality around us. Not sure what to say, I changed the image back to simple, friendly text. "Cleaning up after that was difficult."

Daedalus snorted, billowing smoke everywhere before he let out a chuckle and shook the cave. Had I made a joke? I didn't think that I had said anything funny. After the mirth faded from his eyes, he sighed. "I bet it was, little one. I bet it was."

We sat there for some time, just looking at each other. By this point, I had finished stacking the loose coins around the entrance, and it didn't seem that the dragon was going to let me organize the main pile. I suppose that was fine. If he was already using it, there was no point in sorting it, as a simple shift of his massive wings would send it back into disarray.

Taking advantage of the break in conversation, I used my new sense to get a look at my new friend's soul. After peering at it for a second, I immediately had to turn my senses off. The ball of energy at the center of his being was so bright that I was nearly blinded. Not a smudge even dimmed the glow of power and light radiating like a small sun.

Eventually, Daedalous shook his head slightly and seemed to come back from his thoughts. "Well, I can tell that my companion is not yet awake. But if Nazareth'gak did awaken, then he will not be far behind. While it may take some time, I'm certain I won't have time to take a proper nap again."

I just beeped in commiseration. It wasn't that I understood, but Daedalus sounded sad and a little frustrated. He looked at me and sighed. "I suppose it's not your fault for waking me. Not too long ago, and I probably wouldn't have even noticed you. But I suppose I'd only get another year or so in any way. At least you saved him the trouble of climbing all the way up here to get me.

"Well, in the meantime… I don't suppose that you have a bit to catch me up on what I missed?" Daedalus asked with a hopeful note. I thought about all I had to do this week and frowned internally.

"Not right now, but I promise that I will visit soon. We can talk then." I scrolled the words above me. After it was finished, I put up a second message. "Besides, your story sounds very interesting. I want to know about your companion."

Settling his head into the coins, Daedalus grinned, bearing his wickedly sharp teeth at me. "Yes, we will swap stories soon. Yours sounds just as intriguing. In the meantime is there anything I can do for you? Turning my coin stacks into decorations certainly spruced up this old lair a bit."

I took a moment to think about my responsibilities. "Actually, yes. Do you have any interesting prizes for human competitions? Perhaps we could trade?"

"Human competitions…." Daedalus the Red mused. "I think I might have something…"

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