Am I A God?

Chapter 302: Casanova

Translator: Sparrow Translations Editor: Sparrow Translations

Zhao Yao turned his body upside down, staring right into the eyes of the peeping tom. Zhao Yao asked in a calm and composed voice, “Do you find yourself humorous?” Obviously, Zhao Yao knew what Pornhub was. It was his favorite site with the most exquisite dynamic human art.

“Huh?” the peeping tom plunged with despair and muttered, “But I really have no partners. It’s just my hobby. I know that it’s immoral to do so but I just can’t help myself!”

“Trash! You dare to come out and commit such atrocity without anyone backing you up? Do you know that you’re just wasting all of our time?” Zhao Yao was fuming with anger and vented all his frustration by slapping him unconscious. By grabbing the peeping tom by his collars, Zhao Yao sprang back to the ground floor.

Zhao Yao was unhappy, extremely unhappy. After squatting for close to an hour, he only managed to complete that tiny mission, worth 50 experience points. He thought that this might potentially lead to a huge mission involving well-established organizations.

Zhao Yao handed the peeping tom over to the bewildered security guard. He took a glance at the marked location on his phone and went straight to the next point of anomaly.

For the next few days, Zhao Yao resumed his usual routine – watching anime in the day and completing missions at night. With the combination of Roly Poly’s invisibility, his illusion, and Ares’s deflective field, there was no chance that his identity would be exposed.

On this particular night, he received the same mission from a few targets located in the point of anomaly.

...

An orange cat was sleeping soundly on a tiny artificial knoll in the middle of the garden. He was coated with a body full of beautiful, glistening fur and had a pair of chubby cheeks coupled with an inflated belly. Evidently, this stray cat had plenty of food to eat.

Actually, he never once had to worry about food the day he awakened his power. Depending on his mood, he would hand pick a few targets to serve him.

At this moment, he noticed a shadow approaching him from the corner of his eyes. His paws ran across his belly and felt a slight depression in the middle. A thought instantly sprang in his head, “It’s time to get someone to serve me some food.”

He inched towards this approaching shadow and instantly laid directly in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. By lying on his back, the orange cat revealed his sunken belly and mustered his most flirtatious expression.

Based on his experience, humans’ hearts would instantly melt at this scene before they carried him home, showering him with more than enough love and food.

“However, I will never belong to a single person. I am a born wanderer. I am destined to spend the rest of my life with many people. How can I ever spend all my time in a single home?”

As expected, the person indeed bent down before cradling him in his arms. At this very moment, the cat lets out an ear-splitting shriek and began struggling with all his might when he noticed the person’s head, or more precisely, the lack thereof.

The cat was barely able to breathe and instantly puffed up his fur instinctively. He just wanted to break free from this headless man’s clutches.

However, his struggle was suddenly disturbed by a raspy voice ringing in his head, “Fat cat, have you committed a crime?”

The orange cat stared wide-eyed at this headless man and questioned, “What crime have I committed?”

Zhao Yao clutched the orange cat firmly against his chest before saying, “You have cheated Wang Yao Hua, of Star Light Elementary School, RMB 300. Haven’t you?”

“Huh?” Zhao Yao’s words sent shivers down the cat’s spine as he muttered, “You can understand my words?”

“I know a lot more than that.” Zhao Yao began listing out the entire list of crime that he had committed, “Just last month, you caused a ruckus in the nearby college’s cafeteria. After that, you tricked three college girls to book a hotel room for the purpose of playing with cats. In the end, they woke up realizing that you have stolen their undergarment.

Two weeks ago, you pretended that you were knocked down by an oncoming vehicle. Instead, you jumped on the opportunity to flirt with the female driver. From there, you managed to sneak into a private mansion before making three bitches pregnant...”

The orange cat threw his paws in the air and screamed, “That’s not me! How can you just accuse me of committing all these crimes? I’m just an adorable little kitten! I’ve done none of the things you accused me of doing!”

Zhao Yao slid the orange cat a sly smile before commenting, “It’s useless to try to deny them. We will know soon enough.” With the cat firmly clasped in his arms, Zhao Yao started running again.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Firstly, I’m going to bring you to the college girl so that you can personally apologize to her. Then, we will return the money you owe Wang Yao Hua. Finally, I’ll send you back home to your family. Your kids are about to descend into this beautiful world. I can’t imagine them growing up without their father.”

The orange cat continued his relentless struggle and screamed, “No! I am a born wanderer! I am like the clouds in the sky! How can you expect me to stay at one single place? This is cat cruelty!”

“Someone! Come!”

“Someone is torturing a cat!”

Zhao Yao sniggered, “You can continue screaming. No one will understand your words regardless of how loud you meow.” Hence, Zhao Yao brought the cat along to atone for his mistakes, from apologizing to returning his money and finally meeting his children.

Obviously, the money came directly from Zhao Yao’s pocket. That cat actually managed to spend all of the money on that same day. Zhao Yao had no idea how this cat managed to spend such a huge amount in barely a few hours.

When they arrived at the female driver’s mansion, she immediately pounced on the orange cat when she saw Zhao Yao standing at the door, with the cat in his hands. He grabbed the cat from Zhao Yao and broke down, “Romeo! Romeo, you are finally back!” Three female cats, without superpower, emerged from a room and huddled around the female driver, meowing incessantly.

Romeo’s face sagged with despair as he screamed, “No! Quickly let me out of here!”

Meanwhile, Roly Poly, who remained invisible, craned his tiny head out of Zhao Yao’s collar and noticed the three female cats huddling around Romeo. His face turned green with envy as he lamented, “Even though they are simply ordinary cats with no intelligence at all, but ... they are still three beautiful female cats. Bastard, why is this guy so lucky?”

After leaving Romeo with his family, Zhao Yao left the place with another completed mission. Joy welled up in his head as he made his way back.

This was the most bountiful mission for the day, rewarding Zhao Yao with a total of 200 experience points. It was worth the effort that Zhao Yao had put into it.

When they were about to leave, Roly Poly could not contain his curiosity and asked, “Zhao Yao, so what exactly is this cat’s superpower?”

Zhao Yao stroked his chin slowly before answering, “Based on my observation, he just leaves an extremely good impression with whoever he meets. However, the effects are still rather weak. Anyone with a hint of resistance could stay totally indifferent to the effects.”

Over the next few days, Zhao Yao persisted on his goal and spent most of his time outside, completing more missions. Even though he failed to meet any large organizations such as Ho Hao Cang or Muscle Society, he did manage to earn a few hundred experience points each day.

With Zhao Yao’s continuous acts of valor, the headless horseman had soon grown into a household man synonymous with bravery.

...

Within a solemn meeting room, Inspector Ho was presenting a set of slides containing dozens of pictures and maps. Finally, he reached a photo of a man draped in black robes, but without a head.

He pointed at the photograph before explaining, “Those who are here with us today will be no stranger to this man. He is the new vigilante of Jiangmen City. For the past few days, he has taken upon himself to catch more than 20 criminals, which included apostles and supercats. He wants to be known as the headless horseman, but we have given him the codename ‘No Brain’.”

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