I had way too many worries but I had no answers.
Walking around, looking gloomy was only making the people around me worry too.
So, I put on a face and went around the palace, looking around: I tried my best to look normal and pretend like I was just doing a routine check on my kingdom. It was a lot livelier than last night and people just kept pouring and pouring.
The nobles in particular were kind of surrounding me every now and then. And out of nowhere the count showed up and managed everything, every single freaking time. The guy had greeted me and I'd greeted him but that was all.
It was almost like we had an understanding between us or something. The last time I'd behaved really rudely to him but I guess the apology really had worked. He didn't seem to harbor any ill feelings towards me. He didn't quite like Bryce though.
But I was glad nothing bad happened between the two.
What surprised me the most was the fact that no one asked me any questions about how or why I came back. They just assumed I missed this land and came to check on the people. I guess people liked to believe whatever made the most sense to them and whatever made them feel safe.
But I couldn't fault them for it. After all, I was the same.
***
It was almost time for breakfast but I still hadn't found Lianne.
Apparently, no one had seen her. One or two maids told me they saw her heading towards the bath- some said she went towards the garden while others said she left the palace entirely. None were credible and I couldn't find her anywhere.
In the end, I had to give up.
I did get to know that this kingdom was doing well though. People weren't revolting and things were calm. Boring, but calm. Meaning, Lianne had been doing a great job.
The people really liked her and because of her everything was going great.
And here I was, making a mess. I really felt bad- tired and guilty. But- but there was something I could do about this and for that, I had to first find Lianne.
"We've prepared a feast for you my lord," The count said.
Unfortunately, I didn't feel like even thinking about food, let alone eat some.
My mind was elsewhere.
"Please lead on."
But I had enough of worrying. So, I just went with the flow and showed up in the dining hall. Though I didn't feel like eating, I knew for a fact, my body wouldn't work properly without sleep and food.
Strangely, my comrades were already here. No wonder I hadn't seen them after the whole bath thing.
But more importantly, Lianne was here.
I almost felt like a rock had been lifted from my chest.
Nothing actually changed but- I was really, really glad, she didn't leave me.
So, with a shivering heart and body, I took my seat right next to her.
Our seats were separate from the rest of the people who had joined us for breakfast. Our comrades and the nobles, that was it. Some guards were in here, but they were just guarding us.
Everyone was actually waiting for me to show. And when I did show up, the breakfast- or the so-called feast finally began.
I remembered this room- the very same room where the previous duke had girls surrounding him. Back then I'd turned into a girl and tried to seduce the duke. Lianne was trying to do the same… that night wasn't that great but I did get to become Lianne's fiancé and well… though I acted like I wasn't really into it, I knew I liked her. And I had a hunch she liked me. At the time, I didn't know if she did like me or not but-
I chuckled. Yeah, things were really something back then.
Now that I looked back, the past wasn't actually that bad. It just… things gradually just went on being worse as time passed.
I made them worse.
***
Breakfast began and everyone started eating without a word.
Only the forks and spoons made sounds- the people did not.
No one said a word. So, talking to Lianne about anything didn't really fly.
I couldn't eat much as my mind was elsewhere but- I did pay close attention to Lianne. She ate modestly and her eating was overflowing with elegance. She looked really different from back then.
When I'd first met her, I distinctly remembered her skinning a deer. She ate it with me that night- and she was just like me at the time, eating with her hands, smiling, giggling as the two of us ate.
And later too. During our journey, she never let me feel like she was any different from typical adventurers. She was down-to-earth and very practical.
But- but now she was different. There wasn't even a trace of happiness on her face, she had dark spots beneath her eyes and her face was tainted with worries.
Half-dead didn't need much sleep. Just an hour- or maybe two was enough for them to function normally.
But- Lianne- she probably never slept even for a minute. And that pained look on her face only made me feel worse.
'Damn!'
***
Breakfast was over and Lianne moved out of the room. I followed her.
"Lianne!"
She didn't look back and just walked.
"Lia!"
She still didn't look back.
"Please, we need to talk!"
She didn't turn around. "Talk about what? How popular you are?"
"Please!"
I caught up to her and grabbed her hand.
She jerked it off. And glared at me. Her face was covered but her eyes were clear, she despised me. "Very well. But bring those girls with you. We'll talk after dinner." And yet, there was sorrow in them.
With that said, she left hastily. She seemed angry but she was perhaps pained than angry.
It only made me feel worse.
I stood alone in the hallway, looking down at my feet.
"Elves take matters of the heart very seriously. It's rare for an elf to fall in love with a human." The minister of Xylax was behind me. And so was Zack. "Normally the tradition of Alfeim is to take in one bride and one mistress in case you need more heirs. Anything more than that however is not only frowned upon but- even regarded as high treason in the royal family. I guess you didn't know that." He became a bit quiet. "Forgive me for not realizing this sooner."
"It's not your fault." Besides the guy wasn't with me when we had the conversation with the king of Destoa. I chuckled. The king must have thought me to be a fool to claim I'd take in my friends as my wife while I was already engaged to the princess of Alfeim. Or maybe he thought I'd be able to pull it off.
I chuckled again. "There are so many things I don't know…."
But- one thing I did know, I'd just got a chance to make things right.
And there was no frigging way was I going to let it go by.
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