Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 134: Boys Should Learn To Protect Themselves Too

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Aaaaaargh!

In that very moment, Mu Wanqiu felt as if there was a lion roaring inside her.

Clenching her fist, she punched the air several times.

Jiang He turned to look at her in shock, and quickly cowered, exclaiming, “Mu Wanqiu, tell me the truth: Are you sick mentally?”

After all, even boys had to protect themselves when they were out of the house.

“You’re the mental one!”

Mu Wanqiu yelled, and lay down on another end. There was no way she was leaving—the very thought of that caterpillar passing by gave her the creeps!

Pouting, Mu Wanqiu lay on her side, showing her back to Jiang He as well.

Still, the space in a single-person’s tent was very small, and they were almost in physical contact despite having their backs against each other. In fact, all Mu Wanqiu felt was her blood flow quickening and her heart pounding without end.

A man and a woman, alone... it was difficult to sleep!

However, barely moments later...

Zzzz~

Steady breaths could be heard. Mu Wanqiu’s eyes widened and she could not help cursing through clenched teeth. “You actually fell asleep with a great beauty like me beside you... aren’t your preferences the problem here, Jiang He?

***

While Jiang He was in dreamland, Pudgy Jiang was leading people on a search for the position where the nuclear warhead detonated.

“Be careful. The post-blast radiation is extremely powerful in the forty-eight hours after the nuclear warhead blows up. Get in your hazmat suits and shield yourself up with True Qi, and take a qi pellet if your True Qi is dwindling.”

He barked the orders as he stood nearby.

Reasonably speaking, Pudgy Jiang’s cultivation was the strongest amongst the people present and he should be searching as well, but after several attempts... he realized that he just could not fit inside the hazmat suit.

“Chief Jiang, we’ve found a scorched thighbone over here!”

A martial artist called out loudly then, just as someone picked up a scalp nearby.

Then, another person picked up an Elder Decree.

Despite its refinement, it was still left misshapen under the terrific heat at the heart of the nuclear blast. Once Pudgy Jiang took the token plate and stared at it for a long time, he breathed a long sigh, “The Third Elder of the Sky Demon Cult... he died miserably, didn’t he? And not in one piece at that...”

Still, ‘not in one piece’ was putting it lightly.

All of his flesh was gone, his bones blown into pieces and any narrow rib burnt into ash.

After musing to him for a while, Pudgy Jiang added, “Widen the search area. With the yield of the explosion, I’m afraid... there’s nothing left of Jiang He too!”

Clenching his teeth as his eyes went red, he said tragically, “He’s now slain the Third Elder and the Sixth Elder of the Sky Demon Cult, four Decans in Pain Star, Bound Star, Guilty Star and Killer Star, not to mention five Heavenly Generals: Earth Demon, Earthen Majesty, Earthen Diction, Earthen Savage and Tranquil. His accomplishments are grand, so we must find what remains him, and do him right by giving him a good funeral!”

***

Meanwhile.

Multiple figures were heading towards Mount Helan from other directions.

There were around forty of them, each of them moving sneakily despite their fine ability, and there was one rank-seven grandmaster leading them.

“Blessed Heavenly General!”

Soon, everyone was gathered and kneeling on one knee and calling out the name ‘Blessed Heavenly General’. It was obvious that all of them were Sky Demon Cultists.

And that rank-seven grandmaster was the Blessed Heavenly General, one of the Sky Demon Cult’s seventy-two Fiends.

Though his title was almost identical to the Tranquil Heavenly General’s1, he was slightly superior in ability.

He had always been hiding within Western Xia and overseeing the other cultists infiltrating the county. That was why he was not a part of the plan to take Lingzhou City, but he was aware of what went on over there.

That was why he had been living in fear recently, afraid that the hierarchs of his Holy Faith would get a stroke and send him to deal with that big-shot named ‘Jiang He’.

In fact, he was almost scared to death when he received Guilty Star’s call today.

Fortunately...

Guilty Star quickly made himself clear, and only then did the Blessed Heavenly General breathe a small sigh of relief, just as he felt a slight thrill.

After musing to himself for a moment, he said, “Everyone, it isn’t, in fact, my orders that gathered all of you here.”

“A while ago, I have been notified that three VIPs: Bound Star, Guilty Star, and Third Elder had arrived at Mount Helan to retrieve a treasure, and we are all here to help them.”

The eyes of the dozens of figures sparkled then, just as the Blessed Heavenly General laughed heartily. “All of us would have gained a great merit if we could help them retrieve the treasure, and secure a bright future with their instruction. And with them here, how hard could it be for their combined strength to deal with the Butcher of Lingzhou City?”

Indeed.

The Sky Demon Cultists hiding in Western Xia now fully considered Jiang He a butcher, and were living in fear day after day that he would eventually come for them.

And now, all of them were excited.

With their three overlords together...

The Butcher was as good as dead!

Suddenly, someone amongst the cultists meekly asked, “Blessed Heavenly General, where is Third Elder and the two Grands?”

Smiling, the Blessed Heavenly General whipped out a satellite phone.

Normal phones would never get a signal in the mountains, but satellite phones were unaffected, and most importantly, the satellite phone prepared by the Holy Faith is free from national lance... it was even alleged that it was connected to a satellite launched by the Holy Faith.

Hence, Blessed Heavenly General dialed Bound Star’s number with a chest full of expectation.

However...

The dial tone rang until it cut off automatically, with no one answering.

His expression changing, the Blessed Heavenly General dialed again with the same results.

He was not aware that Jiang He had found the phone when he searched Bound Star’s corpse, and threw it away!

There was a horrible look on Blessed Heavenly General’s face. He had a bad feeling, but his rationality told him that... with Third Elder and the two Decans’ power, nothing would ever happen to him.

“Our Third Elder and the Grands must be too busy to answer,” he said somberly, “Everyone, spread out and search. We’ll gather here again two hours later.”

The Sky Demon Cultists hence split out, sneaking into the night.

The Blessed Heavenly General picked a direction himself, but found nothing after running a complete circle, and so quickly returned where he was.

Soon.

The Sky Demon Cultists returned, with one of them reporting with a pale face, “I’ve found signs of a battle thirty miles away...”

Suddenly, someone exclaimed, “Wait, where’s Old Wang and Young Zhang?”

***

Back at the creek.

Jiang He was staring at the two corpses on the ground, all drowsiness gone from his body.

“Those mongrels of the Sky Demon Cult!” He seethed. “Disturbing my sleep in the middle of the night. What the heck are they planning?”

“Big kitty!” He barked.

Soon, the black panther came out of the night.

“Go,” Jiang He said through clenched teeth. “Wipe out every Sky Demon Cultist. Aren’t you the Feral King of Mount Helan? And have your lackeys search for some mutated plants for me.”

According to the black panther, the mutated plants in Mount Helan was not limited to black wood ears.

It was also said that a species of violet mushrooms evolved as well.

Having received its orders, the black panther retreated into the night.

It reared its head and bellowed, and soon, Ferals were rushing towards it from various corners of the mountain forests, and in another half an hour, screams and the sounds of slaughter echoed from the distance.

Jiang He checked the time.

It was past three o’clock in the morning, so Jiang He climbed into the tent and woke Mu Wanqiu, who only slept after much difficulty. “Alright, stop sleeping and pack up. Time to go.”

Later, the black panther returned around four o’clock.

There were gashes over its body, wounds it received while fighting the Blessed Heavenly General.

It was also holding two bowl-sized violet mushrooms in its mouth.

Behind the black panther were a dozen other Ferals, the weakest amongst them being a rank-two and the strongest a rank-six. All of them were either holding weirdly-shaped mushrooms between their teeth, or black wood-ears the size of a facewash basin.

Jiang He walked up and collected every last wood-ear and mushroom. He then studied the Ferals, and saw that two amongst them were panthers: one rank-six, the other rank-five, although both were equally imposing and handsome.

“Black panther, I was ready to take you home to enjoy the pleasures of my abode, but now that things had come to this, I shouldn’t demean your fellow species. So, you should ask your two brothers to come along with us.”

Then, when Jiang He saw that the black panther was hesitant, he smiled and took out his Dragon-Slaying Saber with a flip of his hand. “It’s fine if you refuse. I’ll just have to cut you three down. Bringing your corpses back are no different.”

The black panther shuddered, quickly nodded, and growled at the two other panthers.

Just as expected, Ferals were fundamentally the same as humans.

Reasoning orally with them never works. It is only after you draw your sword that they would listen.

Soon, an off-road vehicle drove away from the foot of Mount Helan.

Three black panthers were in tight pursuit behind.

After driving for just over ten minutes, Jiang He suddenly exclaimed, “Slow down, there’s someone ahead... Eh? Isn’t that Pudgy Jiang?”

***

Just ahead, Pudgy Jiang was on a rampage, bellowing, “Start looking! Comb through the entire area and three feet beneath it. Jiang He was some distance away from the center of the explosion and wouldn’t be completely vaporized. There would definitely still be something left of him!”

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