Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 156: Do You Take Me For A Clay Doll?

am, the thirtieth of September.

The chief’s office of Lingzhou City’s Martial Arts Department (MAD).

Duan Tianhe was all smiles over the phone, and laughing heartily from time to time while slapping the table.

Cheng Dongfeng poked his head in from outside the door in surprise then, and looked with concern toward Duan Tianhe as he hung up, exclaiming in surprise, “What’s going on with you, Old Duan?”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“I did hear that your wife is moving here to Lingzhou City soon... did that hurt you so much?”

Duan Tianhe pretended as if he did not hear Cheng Dongfeng’s sarcasm at all, and walked forward to place both his hands upon Cheng Dongfeng’s shoulders, his eyes seemingly ablaze with two radiant flames.

What?

Cheng Dongfeng freed himself and stepped back, casting Eight Trigrams Steps and even releasing his True Qi—if Duan Tianhe would dare to do anything out of line, he would not hold back.

“I feel good. I feel so damned good... perhaps you aren’t aware of what major event recently happened in the martial world, did you?”

Duan Tianhe was a little speechless at that, too. What was with that look?

‘I have a wife and I’m straight, please!’

Then, completely ignoring Cheng Dongfeng’s reaction, he smiled and added, “Deputy Zhou just called, saying that Minister Wang had just visited the five sacred grounds of martial arts, and made them yield with overwhelming force!”

“Now, all five sacred grounds have agreed to provide the MAD with secret cultivation methods. Moreover, they would be sending a ‘divine-tier’ elite each to guard each corner of the nation, and send the disciples of their faction into the wider world to gain experience and cultivation.”

“For real?”

Cheng Dongfeng exclaimed in delight. “Now that martial arts have become so widespread that even the old lady selling vegetables at the stall down the street is a martial artist, it would not be impossible for every citizen to practice martial arts. With their extensive legacies, the secret cultivation manuals that the sacred grounds could provide would definitely push the common use of martial arts up to an era of rapid development.”

“And if they really did send their elites to cover certain provinces, it would definitely ease the burdens on the military and the MAD, and significantly reduce civilian casualties!”

Meanwhile, Duan Tianhe returned to his desk and took a sip of hot his wolfberry tea from his Thermos flask. “Those two points certain works in favor of the country and her citizens,” he laughed, “but the most exciting news is—”

Halfway through his sentence, he deliberately paused and continued chugging down his tea, and only continued when he saw Cheng Dongfeng becoming impatient. “The sacred grounds would be offering a quota of entrants into their Secret Realm. According to Deputy Zhou, the first batch of candidates would be picked from the MAD and the military.”

This time, Cheng Dongfeng was even more shocked.

Still, he frowned after his initial surprise, calming down as he mused to himself, “A permission to enter a Secret Realm... how precious is that? Not even the disciples of the five sacred grounds—aside from core disciples, that is, would have to pay a severe price to enter, don’t they? Are the five sacred grounds really that generous?”

“We wouldn’t know.”

Duan Tianhe replied. “Still, they are a martial arts faction of the country, and now that disaster is at hand, is it not reasonable that they work a little? By the way, contact Jiang He—the higher-ups have already given him a place in the quota.”

“Jiang He?”

Cheng Dongfeng muttered as he whipped out a phone. “He did mention that he was heading to Jiangnan, but I wonder if he’s at home... Let me make a call.”

***

In his sports car, Jiang He was groggily jolted awake by his phone’s ringtone.

He took a look at the caller before answering, “Master Cheng, why have you thought of calling so early in the morning?”

“Where am I?”

“I’ve no idea. I’ve started driving to Jiangnan, and fell asleep right after I left the village... Hold on, I’ll check where I am.”

“...”

Over on the other end, Cheng Dongfeng turned quiet, whereas Jiang He opened the car door and got off, checking left and right before looking up at the hotel in front of him.

Unable to resist a chuckle, he said, “I’m already at Jiangnan—unmanned vehicles are such a joy. I’ve literally woke up to find myself in front of the hotel where I booked a room.”

“But weren’t highways supposed to be difficult these days? There’s supposedly Ferals wreaking havoc everywhere and they tend to attack vehicles driving at night, but I felt nothing...”

“...”

Cheng Dongfeng was still silent over at the other end.”

“Oh right. Why did you call me, Master Cheng? I’ll be hanging up if there’s nothing...”

“There is, actually.”

Cheng Dongfeng then told him about quota of entry into the Secret Realms.

Jiang He had wanted to refuse at first, since the best advantage of entering the Secret Realm was the quick improvement of his cultivation and perception towards the universe. He could achieve those by planting some crops as well.

Nonetheless, he eventually agreed to it after some thought.

“Alright, since you guys at the MAD insist on putting me on the quota, I’ll go through the trouble. I did hear that the microworlds in the Secret Realms are worlds that elites opened, and I’ll just consider that I was going on a trip.”

“...”

Cheng Dongfeng was left silent once more.

What the heck?

On the other hand, Jiang He was at a loss for words—Cheng Dongfeng was the one who had called him in the first place, could he not make himself clear? Why was he silent every few exchanges?

Hanging up, Jiang He walked through the car park but did not enter the hotel immediately. He stood at the edge of the car park and surveyed his surroundings, finding crowds passing through with every single person appearing busy.

Some of the pedestrians’ qi were quite strong and had clearly reached the level of martial artists. Jiang He even noticed one rank-six martial artist, several rank-five martial artists, and one B-class Awakened heading to the hotel behind him.

After all, the hotel Caesar behind was one of Jiangnan city’s finest hotels. Since many martial artists would have earned a killing by now, all of them would naturally want to enjoy themselves.

In Jiang He’s ‘memory’, when ‘he’ studied at Jiangnan and took part-time jobs, he had delivered vegetables to the kitchen of this hotel. His dream then was to earn big bucks and lavish himself for a night at a grand hotel like this, and now, if he were willing, he could buy up to ten such hotels.

Life is like a dream indeed!

Lighting himself a cigarette, Jiang He thought, ‘The martial artists here clearly outnumber the ones at Lingzhou City... but that makes sense. Even if this is a city, how could an unknown and unfamous city like Lingzhou City compare to Jiangnan City?

First and foremost, the populations contrasted significantly already.

The greater a city’s base population, the more Awakened and martial artists would rise. Moreover, Jiangnan had many martial arts clans, which was why it made sense that their number of martial artists as well as standard of martial arts were higher.

After having his cigarette, Jiang He prepared to head into the hotel to check in.

His hair was a mess after having slept in the car for the night, and having always been demanding about personal image, Jiang He wanted to wash-up and then...

Have breakfast.

He was famished after having slept until now since his six-o’clock dinner last night.

Be that as it may, before he could make two steps, a sudden sharp screech of a car brake could be heard. A yellow sports car then force-slid past Jiang He’s body and stopped at a nearby parking slot.

Jiang He frowned but decided not to pursue the matter.

After all...

There were too many of such cliché plots in novels. Would he not be too cliché if he played along?

And yet, the car door opened and a mumble could be heard from inside. “Damn it, are you trying to die? Don’t you have eyes growing on that big body of yours? Don’t you know how to move aside when you see a car coming?”

The voice was small, but could Jiang He be fooled?

Then, just as Jiang He was about to wreck the car with a single punch, a young man dressed in a suit exclaimed in surprise when he saw Jiang He, “What the hell? Aren’t you... Jiang He?”

???

Jiang He turned to the youth in confusion.

This kid...

Knows me?

On the other hand, that youth frowned after his exclamation, and turned towards the other person in the car—a beauty who dressed exceedingly seductively. “Hold on...” He murmured, taken aback. “We didn’t invite Jiang He to the class reunion, did we? Why is he here?”

Jiang He: “...”

What the hell?!

Class reunion?

Sports cars and beauty?

Could the plot really be that cliché?

A memory surfaced in his mind then. After seconds of staring at the youth’s face, Jiang He did find him familiar... but he completely had no memory of that seductress. She looked like your usual online celebrity and you could see that she had gone through plastic surgeries on a single glance, and he would never have recognized her even if he was acquainted with her before.

And since they were ‘classmates’, wrecking their car was a little inappropriate. Even so, reluctant to get caught up in a cliché plot, Jiang He promptly said, “Sorry, you’ve got the wrong person. I’m not Jiang He.”

He turned, trying to leave.

However, in the youth’s eyes, the sight of him was just like a ‘down-and-out classmate who had no face to acknowledge a successful person’. After all, Jiang He did look a little shabby with his messed-up hair, and sporting clothes of mixed brands... was it not?

Giving chase, the youth caught Jiang He by the shoulder, chuckling, “Stop pretending, you are Jiang He. What? How long has it been since graduation, and you, the former Romeo of our university is already forgetting his classmates?”

What... I!!!

Jiang He gritted his teeth, slightly annoyed now.

Then, the youth added, “Although we didn’t call you up for the class reunion, come join us since you’re here anyway... don’t worry, I know your family is poor, so we won’t ask you to pay at the reunion.”

The vein on Jiang He’s temple was already bulging.

On the other hand, the youth seemed pleased with Jiang He’s rage and pulled the seductress to himself, smirking, “By the way, do you remember Liu Xue? She once wooed you when you were the school’s Romeo.”

The seductress giggled coquettishly then and leaned into the youth’s arms, pouting, “Oh, Young Master Wang, why would you mention my dark history? My heart must have been bewitched to fall for—”

Slap!

Jiang He landed a back hand on the seductress, slapping her down on the ground.

In turn, she screamed bloodcurdlingly, clutching her face, “Aaaaah! My nose, the nose which cost me a hundred thousand dollars... Ah, my eyes.... they looked lopsided now... I spent eighty thousand to slit those eyelids!”

Jiang He then knocked her unconscious with a kick before looking up at the youth.

His face dropped, but he yelled despite feeling cowed, “How dare you hit my girlfriend, Jiang He? You’ve gone too far—”

Slap!

Jiang He left that Young Master Wang or whatnot on the floor with another slap, and straddled him as he landed a few more punches. Despite holding back, Young Master Wang’s face was now swollen like a pig’s and he was bleeding all over.

Rising to his feet and pulling a toilet roll to clean his hands, he dumped the tissue on Young Master Wang’s face, smirking, “I’ve told you people you got the wrong guy. I’m not Jiang He, and yet you’d still insult me. Did you really take me for a clay doll?”

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!