Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 187: Sword Sage Cultivation

“When it comes to immortal cultivation... it’s best if I could cultivate as a Sword Sage!”

Holding his phone and typing in the keywords on the search bar, Jiang He browsed carefully, and actually managed to find a mnemonic chant called ‘Sword Sage Cultivation’.

It was posted by a user called ‘Don’t Ask For No Reason’ on Weibo.

Jiang He skimmed through it.

There were seven levels to this Sword Sage Cultivation, the first of which was ‘Spin Shine’, and it came with a mnemonic chant:

“Golden light splits the skies, heaven flame descends, igniting excesses, divine light hones the sword.

“A godly hurricane, abundant Spirit Qi, quenches thirst of the organs, wisdom and intelligence.

“Jade waters flows in springs, mystic ice lasts eternal, rising clouds and mists, ethereal seas of immortals... Alright, it’s clearly nonsense. That user clearly made it up, did he not?”

Jiang He was rather speechless.

All sorts of geniuses could be found online.

Still, Jiang He never held hope in the first place. Were real immortal arts ever available online anyway?

Everyone could refine qi and become immortals if there were.

Still, Jiang He needed such fabricated immortal arts—one which you find mystical at the first glance, and realize that it’s all nonsense when studied in detail.

All for that single, vague spark of inspiration amidst all that nonsense.

“Second level is illumination: Upon dawn at Mount Tai, light shines over ten thousand leagues; clouds pause and winds still, and the mind soars?”

“Third Level, fusion: over the vast sea of stars, the golden cinnabar sings and dances; mystical stars of divine constellation swirls within the mind, a divine raft that crosses the sea over the trails of Polaris... forget it. This mnemonic chant is too weak and doesn’t leave any impression.”

Jiang He clicked on the user’s account then, and found that he had uploaded another called Mystic Daoist Sword.

“The Mystic Daoist Sword is passed down from days of yore, creating wonders with its fantastical principles.”

“Binding Ying and Yang as one, birth of thousands of possibilities.”

“Oh? This mnemonic chant is quite interesting. It’s more profound and dramatic compared to the one before.”

Jiang He’s eyes lit up. Dramatic sense notwithstanding, the script being profound was on the right track.

And when it comes to immortal cultivation, who would believe it if sounds too modern?

“Sora... pen and paper!”

Ordering his maid to get him some stationery, Jiang He began copying. Even so, the mnemonic chant had over dozen thousands of characters, and Jiang He only finished copying the main text after copying several thousand words. That was when an idea occurred to him then, and he said, “Copying everything is too hard...”

“Whatever, I’ll just pick out some of the nicer lines.”

As he continued reading the mnemonic chants, Jiang He kept writing,

[Three thousand calamities once plagued the heavens, and the mortal realm over five hundred years.]

[The sharp sword on the hip sparks with auspicious thunder, and the pellets within the cauldron smoke from the fire.]

[A prodigy rides a white deer across the vast seas, striding over all obstacles into the Grotto-Heavens.]

[Minor characters fool around and chat idly, none of them aware that I am a true immortal.]

[Over the long years since gaining these tenets, never once did the flying sword claim a man’s head.]

[Save for the Jade Emperor’s dictation of destiny, that which is golden may remain in the mortal realm.]

Jiang He frowned. He had the feeling that the lines towards the end felt like the Seven Words Quatrains, with the line [Over the long years since gaining these tenets, never once did the flying sword claim a man’s head] feeling especially familiar.

Even so, he never stopped copying.

[The drunkard dances and sings over the sea and the mountains, for the heaven carries the path ahead and the golden cinnabar.]

[Deep night, the crane weaves through the blue sky of the autumn, and the west wind that stretches over ten thousand miles is as cold as a sword.]

“Author: Lü Yan, style: seven-words, era: Tang...”

Crunch!

Jiang He broke his pen from accidentally putting in too much strength. He stared at the Mystic Daoist Sword for an entire minute before clenching his teeth and cursing, “I’ve copied up to five thousand words, only to find that it’s actually the Seven Words Quatrains?”

He wanted very much to tear the cultivation manual into...

But then he changed his mind.

Why?

It was fabrication and make believe anywhere, and the quatrains were quick amazing in itself. For example, the lines ‘three thousand disasters once plagued the heavens, and the mortal realm over five hundred years’ as well as ‘the sharp sword on the hip sparks with auspicious thunder, and the pellets within the cauldron smokes from the fire’ felt quite sagely.

Moreover, the other line ‘standing beneath the curves of Polaris, the sword hangs on the corner of the southern crescent moon; utterly intoxicated when I’m drunk, I know no worry then’ was quite exquisite.

“It’s already copied anyway. Why bother tearing it apart?

“I would have to find another cultivation manual to copy if I did, and waste my brain cells altering it.”

Having decided on the cultivation method he would use, what next was the three essences of creating a cultivation method.

First: naming.

Second: techniques at different levels.

Third: adding special effects.

Getting another pencil and after putting in some thought, Jiang He’s eyes shifted and landed on the line ‘Three thousand calamities once plagued the heavens, and the mortal realm over five hundred years.’

He hence wrote down ‘Three Thousand Calamities’, which passed as a very good name.

“Not bad, not bad. This name is very awesome.”

Jiang He nodded in satisfaction.

He was experienced in creating cultivation methods after all.

For one, there was no doubt that the name must be imposing—the ‘Blind Princess’s Eight Practices’ was just the result of a beautiful mistake.

As he compiled the experience of creating cultivation manuals before, Jiang He soon had an idea.

“When it comes to styles, it would be best to do it like the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms. That way, each style would cost the same amount of Farm Points, and the power of each style should grow with the individual’s personal cultivation, without needing to worry that it could not keep up with the improvement of personal ability.”

“Moreover...”

“There is no need for more than a dozen moves. Three is enough!”

“A prodigy rides a white deer across the vast seas... so, first style of the Three Thousand Calamities: White Foal Crosses The Rift. This move’s specialty is in its quickness—moving so rapid that the opponent could not react in time, let alone stop it!”

“As for the second style... let’s call it the Thunderflame Calamity. I’ve grasped sword will, thunder will and awakened fire-type powers, so it is fitting.”

“As for the third style... I’ll just call it Three Thousand Calamities.”

After musing to himself for a long time, Jiang He began to add some colors and add on to the three sword styles.

“White Foal Crosses the Rift—quickness is key, and for special effects, let’s have an overflow of Sword Qi. As the sword moves, Sword Qi overflows... and as individual ability improves, releasing Sword Qi up to thirty thousand miles would not be a dream.”

As such, the second style had to be even cooler.

“Thunderflame Sword, Thunderflame calamity... the world shifts upon the release of this move, with thunder and fire descending from the skies as the sword unsheathes. How cool is that?”

“As for Three Thousand Calamities, it should be an AoE sword style. A single strike unleashes three thousand sword flashes at once, leveling cities and fortresses, flipping mountains and seas!”

“Oh, right... the three styles are only secondary to the Sword Sage Cultivation [Three Thousand Calamities], and it could be used for cultivation...”

Jiang He pondered again.

How should he go about fabricating a sword sage’s cultivation path?

Swordsman, swordmaster, arch-swordmaster?

Tasteless!

“Let’s stick to the standard tiers: Qi Refinist, Golden Cinnabar, True Child, Convergence, Sufferance, Mahayana, Heavenly Immortal, True Immortal, and Golden Immortal.”

Thud!

Throwing his pencil on the floor, Jiang He shook the paper on which he wrote the Three Thousand Calamities in utter satisfaction, and could not help chuckling, “Awesome. Even I am impressed by myself... I’ve actually developed a Sword Sage technique that reaches all the way to Golden Immortal in a little over two hours.”

Over at another corner, Dumbo had already dug a hole.

Spending 5000 Farm Points to redeem a bag of Mysterious Soil, Jiang He planted the Three Thousand calamities.

He emptied the whole bag in the hole.

After burying it and having Dumbo water it, only then did Jiang He say, “Dig a few more holes. I have more stuff to plant.

The two tufts of Sword Will Barrenwort!

The violet-gold sunflower seeds... he would plant all 25 after he munched on some!

As for the two Mysterious Seeds...

After some thought, Jiang He put away the Mysterious Seeds again.

Work and rest must be balanced when it comes to farming, and planting a tone of crops in a single go was too difficult. And since he did not know what the Mysterious Seed actually was, he could keep it for now and plant it later.

Most importantly...

The skies were already dark.

It was already eight—Sora had already made dinner and had been waiting for some time!

“I’ll eat, and then come back. The cultivation manuals and violet-gold sunflower seeds would mature by then...”

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