Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 341: Jiang He Draws A Talisman

In the Ten Thousand Swords Sect, the Thunder Talisman Daoist was famous for his poor temper.

Having suffered through six retributions, his ability was incredible in the first place. Since he also had an outstanding technique in crafting talismans, he was therefore ranked highly in his sect and he could severely vent his rage at others even though they had seven or eight retributions under their belt.

As such, under normal circumstances, the Thunder Talisman Daoist would have already rolled up his sleeves and unsheathed his sword to attack after having been so directly mocked about having weak cultivation and Yuan Spirit as well as held in contempt.

Even so, in that very moment, he felt no grief, but was a little... pleased.

Jiang He held him in contempt?

Wonderful!

He was afraid Jiang He might really release his Yuan Spirit secret technique at himself.

Moreover, the Yuan Spirit secret technique was too rare a skill. In fact, according to what the Thunder Talisman Daoist knew, only the most ancient group of daemon cultivators possessed one such technique, and that was even with all immortal sects, demonic sects, and ancient daemon cultivators included.

It was such an impressive technique and it simply required the very scent of a target’s Yuan Spirit to be released. After that, the caster just had to craft a strawman, write the target’s name, and light a joss candle of the strawman’s head. Pray to it three times a day over twenty-days, and the target would die from a disembodied soul.

Naturally, there was no telling what the specific mystics involved was.

Even as he thought about it, the Thunder Talisman Daoist took out some divine fruits and seven paper talismans out of his Spatial Ring. With a wave of his hand, the talismans all touched ground and turned into seven maidens dressed thinly.

The maidens resembled real humans and all of them possessed unmatched beauty and stunning fingers. Some of them started dancing, while others served Jiang He wine and fed him grapes.

His interest piqued, Jiang He pulled one of the maidens to himself to test how she felt to the touch before exclaiming in surprise, “She is just like a real human... is this a talisman technique too, Thunder Talisman Daoist?”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist smiled smugly. “These are Fairy Talismans which I’ve refined based on Daoist weapon talismans after much contemplation on my part. It is extremely difficult to make them, and I only managed seven after burning through plenty of treasures. Each of the maidens summoned are astonishingly beautiful like goddess incarnates, and they could do everything—sing, dance, and play every known musical instrument.”

Jiang He nodded as his eyes swept across the seven fairy maidens that transformed from the talismans. “Being able to do everything and play every known musical instrument? Such ladies are the loveliest.”

“I’m interested in the seven Fairy Talismans, Thunder Talisman Daoist. May I borrow them from you?”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist’s smile stiffened at that, and he became unsure of how to answer right then.

Still, Jiang He did not try to strongarm him, and simply smiled, “Of course, you don’t have to lend them to me if you don’t want to. I, Jiang He, would never take away things that a person cherishes.”

“It’s fine, I’ll lend them to you!”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist said generously then, “It’s just seven Fairy Talismans. Just take them if you like, Brother Jiang He.”

Despite what he said, there was agony on the Thunder Talisman Daoist’s face. Clenching his teeth, he reverted the seven dancing fairy maidens into seven talismans, and sent them flying to Jiang He with a pushing gesture.

“I’ll take them, then?”

Jiang He said courteously as if stuffed the seven paper talismans into his pocket.

As for borrowing...

Jiang He understood three definitions when it comes to that word: returning something after borrowing it, not returning something after borrowing it, as well as being unable to return something after borrowing it... if he planted all seven paper talismans and could not return them, the Thunder Talisman Daoist would not blame him for it, would he?

“If push comes to shove, I could just give him seven inflatable dolls. They are all fake chicks anyway, so there’s not much difference.”

After putting away the seven Fairy Talismans, Jiang He cut to the chase and asked, “Thunder Talisman Daoist, may I ask how many types of Thunder Talismans there are that you’re able to craft?”

“A lot.”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist did not dare to hold back as he answered, “There are different tiers to talismans. Weaker thunder talismans could hardly damage Golden Pellet individuals, while stronger thunder talismans could kill even Sufferance elites and maim Mahayana elites. Indeed, according to myths, divine talismans are supposedly capable of killing immortals too.”

“Talismans are that impressive? Why, what conditions are there to crafting one? Would it be difficult?”

As Jiang He humbly asked for guidance, the Thunder Talisman Daoist answered every question he posed—not because he had passion, but because he was scared!

Reasonably speaking, there would be many things that he stopped fearing after he had lived up to a thousand years old, but that did not include death. While the young ones would often have a rush of heated blood to the head and have a mindset that ‘at worst I’ll just die,’ the longer one lived, said heated blood would turn cold. As cultivators like them pursued eternal life, who among them would willingly die for no reason?

Hence, seeing that Jiang He was quite interested in crafting talismans, the Thunder Talisman Daoist took out a paper talisman and said, “This is a Windwalking Talisman, a low-tier talisman. Qi Refinist-tier cultivators would paste it on their feet so that the winds would boost them as they flew, and being a novice talisman, it’s one of the easier talismans to learn to craft.”

He then took out another talisman paper, an ink brush and passed it to Jiang He, saying, “Crafting one would be easy for you, Brother Jiang He, since you are a full-fledged Sufferance elite and command great mystic energies. You could try drawing one.”

“Eh?”

Jiang He quickly said, “I’m quite dull-witted, Thunder Talisman Daoist, and I’m afraid I would draw it wrongly. Moreover, I have not learned the basics of crafting talismans either.”

“It’s fine.”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist smiled. “Under most circumstances, even True Child cultivators who never learned crafting talismans could easily make one.”

True Child?

I’m already full-fledged Sufferance. What am I even afraid of?

Jiang He was at once brimming with confidence. Still, he was soon baffled when he raised the ink brush...

Damn it!

What the hell was that symbol drawn over that Windwalking Talisman?

One stroke here and one stroke there—there was no actual pattern at all.

Nonetheless, Jiang He braced himself to draw the talisman, but was unable to keep it up after three minutes. Slamming the ink brush on the table, he barked, “I give up, I give up. Aren’t these brush strokes and whatnot too complicated? I could develop a talisman drawing technique myself instead of wasting time here.”

Furious, the Thunder Talisman Daoist slapped the table and rose to his feet. But just as he was about to start scolding Jiang He, he remembered that Jiang He was not his disciple and promptly forced a smile, “It is indeed as you say, Brother Jiang He.”

Even so, he was despising Jiang He a lot inwardly.

A high and mighty, full-fledged Sufferance could not even draw a Windwalking Talisman...

If one had to grade it, your talent in drawing talismans is in the negative.

“By the way, what is the most powerful talisman which you could draw, Thunder Talisman Daoist?”

As Jiang He’s tone changed when he asked another question, the Thunder Talisman Daoist answered truthfully, “Of the talismans I could craft, the most powerful is the Nine Retribution Talisman, which got its name from the nine retributions of Sufferance. Making it is very difficult since it requires the thunderbolts of retribution as material, though the stronger the bolt is, the moreover the talisman would be. If I manage to harvest the ninth thunderbolt of retribution and craft it into a talisman, even full-fledged Sufferance elites would not dare to take the full brunt of its power.”

“Incredible!”

Jiang He eyes lit up at that as he exclaimed, “The Nine Retribution Talisman... that is the powerful thunder talisman I need. True Habitant, why don’t you start work right now? You can return to the Ten Thousand Swords Sect right after you’re done. Moreover, I promise that as long as the Ten Thousand Swords Sect doesn’t kill my mood in the future, I would never destroy you people.”

Thunder Talisman Daoist was dumbstruck.

Damn it!

This youth... why did he have to say something so upsetting?

Are you trying to scare me to death, what with how you keep mentioning about destroying my sect?

And most importantly, don’t kill your mood?

There really is no end to that...

Nonetheless, he flashed a begrudging smile. “To tell the truth, Brother Jiang He... I am unable to craft that Nine Retribution Talisman.”

Once he saw Jiang He’s dark look, the Thunder Talisman Daoist quickly added, “The most important material to craft it is the thunderbolts of retribution, but as you know, other Sufferance cultivators must not hang around the thundercloud of retribution belonging to another Sufferance cultivator because they would draw retribution to themselves otherwise. That is why I can’t catch the thunderbolts myself.”

“Can’t you have someone else catch it?”

“Well, Convergence cultivators would not be enough, and they would be killed by the thunderbolts if they dared to catch one. On the other hand, would Mahayana-tier be willing to catch one when all they do is cultivate all yearlong? Moreover, the power of heavenly retribution is so frightening that not even Mahayana elites could assuredly capture it, and though an immortal predecessor did leave our sect with some, I had used it all for crafting the Nine Retribution Talisman.”

Jiang He became silent at that.

Was crafting the Nine Retribution Talisman that difficult?

He mused to himself for a when his eyes suddenly lit up and he said, “How are the thunderbolts of retribution captured and stored, Thunder Talisman Daoist? Just tell me the method and I’ll catch one for you.”

“First, one must suppress the thunderbolt by force and refine it. It is very difficult to do so since it is a form of Heavenly Retribution, but once it becomes mild after your refinement, it could be placed inside a simple mystic container.”

“Got it.”

Jiang He rose to his feet and headed outside, while the Thunder Talisman Daoist asked in confusion, “Where are you going, Jiang He?”

“I’m going to catch the thunderbolts of retribution!”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist was speechless at that. “No one is suffering their retribution at the moment, Brother Jiang He—where would you get one?”

“What do you mean no one?”

Jiang He looked at the Thunder Talisman Daoist as if he was an idiot before thumping his chest several times. “While I have weathered only one thunderbolt of retribution, I could invoke retribution again if I cultivate my physique up to Sufferance as well. Moreover, my physique is not weak and a little cultivation would be enough to weather through it.”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist appeared bewildered right then.

Your physique... is not too weak?

Alright.

Jiang He’s qi was frighteningly powerful and at least on the level of True Child. One should note that cultivators developed their mystic energies through understandings of the universe, and rarely would any of them deliberately hone their bodies since mystic treasures and godly techniques would shield their bodies, which is why developing one’s physique level to Jiang He’s level was already plenty impressive.

That said...

How could you trigger the thunderbolts of retribution with that body of yours?

Even so, the Thunder Talisman Daoist was left stunned even as that thought struck him. He was watching Jiang He sitting cross-legged on the deck of his ship when he sensed overwhelming qi erupting away from his body and rapidly strengthening...

What the hell!

Was he even human?

Immortal physique cultivation is extremely difficult because one breaks one’s own limit continuously with each ascension, while you are cultivating it just because you say so?

Most importantly...

Jiang He had ascended right after he sat down! Did that even make sense?

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