Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 380: Jiang He Crafts an Item

The Taixu Sect Chieftain was freaking out a little.

Being the Chief of a sect and an eight-retribution Sufferance elite, he was a big shot even among cultivators.

Of course, that would be relative to who he was being compared to.

Would he not be embarrassing himself if he compared himself to Jiang He?

Wanting to cry but not having the tears for it, he exclaimed, “Are you serious, Mister Jiang?”

“Nonsense!”

At a loss for words, Jiang He barked at him with a scowl, “Would I lie to you? Time is short, stop spouting nonsense. Go draw the thunderclouds of retribution right now and I’ll help you survive it.”

“Alright!”

It was time to stake his bets!

Since Jiang He said that he would protect him, he would trust Jiang He just this once!

Mainly because... he had no choice!

What if Jiang He got upset and killed him with a single slap?

Gritting his teeth, the Taixu Sect Chieftain promptly flew out into the distance.

“Doggone it!”

Jiang He clenched his teeth and yelled in rage, “Where are you going? Didn’t I tell you to invoke your retribution? You could have done it right now—why would you run?”

Kaboom!

As Jiang He extended his hand and grasped from the distance, every Spirit Qi within five kilometers was drained dry as a colossal hand conjured from mystic energy appeared out of thin air. He caught the Taixu Sect Chieftain, who had flown eight hundred meters away and pulled him back, before slapping him into the dirt.

The Taixu Sect Chieftain broke into tears and wailed, “Calm down, Lord Jiang He! I only wanted to get a little further before invoking my retribution so my retributions wouldn’t damage your residence...”

Jiang He was dumbstruck.

He felt rather embarrassed, but he could not afford to show such an expression.

After all, am I not Jiang He, a big shot with a reputation to protect?

That was why he scowled and barked, “Who do you think you are? How much commotion could you even cause by invoking your retribution? It did not even scratch me when I ascended directly from first retribution to ninth in one go. Get up and invoke your retribution right here!”

“Eh?”

The Taixu Sect Chieftain struggled to get up. He coughed out a mouthful of blood, his aura withering since Jiang He’s slap had inflicted some internal injury. Still, being one with powerful survival instincts, he made a last-ditch struggle and said, “Lord Jiang He, could you give me half an hour to rest and recover? I might really die if I weather my retribution as I am now...”

Jiang He hence quietly drew out the Mosquito Cutter.

The Taixu Sect Chieftain promptly switched gears, exclaiming, “Okay, okay, I’ll weather it right now!”

His eyes red with tears, he promptly charged his mystic energy and Dao. Around his body, a unique Dao hence swirled.

Once the Heavens sensed that energy, a thunderstorm promptly surged in the world around them, with a thundercloud stretching hundreds of kilometers gathering rapidly.

The Taixu Sect Chieftain took to the skies and looked up at the massive thundercloud of retribution thunderbolts sparking within. Feeling the tremendous pressure from the heavenly retribution and realizing that his death was almost certain, a tragic feeling arose in his heart and he yelled at the top of his lungs, “Elder Mo, if I don’t live through today, I hope you would bring my bones back to the Taixu Sect and bury it beneath a green hill.”

“Lord Jiang He!”

He then turned towards Jiang He. “If I can’t survive the thunderbolts of retribution, I hope you wouldn’t turn your rage to the Taixu Sect...”

Pow!

Even before he could finish, Jiang He had arrived behind him in a flash, hitting him with a knifehand strike and knocking him out.

He then threw the Taixu Sect Chieftain’s body nonchalantly at Elder Mo while scolding, “How does a man like him talk so much? I said I could protect you and I would. Aren’t you an irritating one, blabbing away like an old woman?”

Elder Mo was unsure what to do right then even as he held the Taixu Sect Chieftain’s body, muttering, “The chieftain has fainted, Lord Jiang He... How... How is he going to live through this?”

“It’s fine.”

Jiang He looked up.

The frightening thundercloud had yet to fade.

After all, the heavenly thunderbolts of retribution would not stop just because their target fainted...

Boom-crack!

That was when a thick, huge thunderbolt arrived with a loud crack and shot toward the Taixu Sect Chieftain who was in Elder Mo’s arms. In response, Elder Mo shrieked and threw the chieftain away from his arms.

“Don’t blame me, Chieftain! I would be caught by the thunderbolt if I didn’t throw you...”

He turned and fled in a flash.

And that was when Jiang He moved.

He reached out and grasped, catching the heavenly thunderbolt in his hand. Dao and mystic energy quaked and erupted around him, subjugating the heavenly thunderbolt—even in Jiang He’s palm, it kept struggling and twitching, though it calmed down around three seconds later.

Jiang He took out a porcelain bottle and stuffed the heavenly thunderbolt inside the bottle before leaping up in the air and into the thundercloud.

Elder Mo, Jin Sidao, and Wang Hou all looked toward it to find flashes of thunder raging and attacking a certain location wildly. They could not see Jiang He amidst the flashes, or use their divine mind to observe him—all they could see was a sword’s flash abruptly slashing out, and in the next instant, the wildly cascading thunderbolts of retribution were tamed.

Jiang He stepped out of the thundercloud and took out more porcelain bottles to collect the many thunderbolts within.

Up in the skies, the thundercloud slowly faded.

Then, a curious energy descended from the skies above and landed on the Taixu Sect Chieftain’s body.

And on the ground, the Taixu Sect Chieftain who had been thrown aside by Elder Mo shuddered and woke up.

After all, the heavens rewarded Sufferance elites who survive their retributions...

And the instant the chieftain awaken, he could feel how his body had changed—he promptly leapt off the ground and looked up at the skies.

It was bright blue and without a cloud in sight of miles... the thundercloud was already gone.

Blinking, the Taixu Sect Chieftain looked at Jiang He, before shifting to Jin Sidao and eventually to Elder Mo.

Elder Mo’s gaze appeared a little evasive.

Was the chieftain aware that he was the one who had thrown him just now?

“Elder Mo, how long was I out?” the Taixu Sect Chieftain asked with a hoarse voice.

Elder Mo thought about it and said, “Around ten breaths.”

“Ten breaths?”

“Did I imagine everything that had happened just now? I didn’t actually weather my retribution?”

“Hold on... my body’s condition makes it clear that I did... but I’ve fainted. How did I managed to survive?” The Taixu Sect Chieftain was left dumbstruck, and Elder Mo went to him to whisper an explanation.

“What?”

The Taixu Sect Chieftain’s entire body shuddered and he could not help exclaiming, “You could weather retributions like that too?”

Meanwhile, Jiang He was not bothered to say anything.

He was feeling rather annoyed just then.

He had only managed to catch nine thunderbolts of retribution...

Though the Taixu Sect Chieftain was weathering his ninth retribution which invoked powerful thunderbolts, there were just too few bolts. Even if he could fashion a single bomb out of each thunderbolt, he could only make nine.

He turned towards Jin Sidao and said, “Brother Jin. Are there any elites at their seventh or eighth retribution? Call them here and I’ll help them weather their retributions too.”

“For real?”

Delighted, Jin Sidao exclaimed, “I’ll contact them right now.”

He promptly sent word to the Thunder Talisman Daoist, who was away from the Ten Thousand Swords Sect just then. As such, he quickly returned, and had soon gathered two other Sufferance-tier elites and arrived at Jiang He’s house post-haste.

Of the three, the Thunder Talisman Daoist was himself a seventh-retribution elite. Of the other two, one was seventh-retribution like him and the other was eighth-retribution.

As such...

Half an hour later, three colossal thunderclouds of retribution gathered at the same time in the skies above Jiang He’s house.

The Thunder Talisman Daoist stood beneath the thundercloud with an emotional look on his face, saying, “Come to think of it... it was half a month ago when I reached seventh-retribution, didn’t I? And now, just half a month later, I’m already weathering my eighth retribution...”

At the same time, Jiang He flew inside the thundercloud and captured all twenty-seven heavenly thunderbolts within ten breaths.

The eighth retribution elite hence reached full-fledged Sufferance and appeared a little thrilled.

Jiang He told him impatiently, “Alright, go be excited over there. Thunder Talisman and this brother over here, since you two are eighth retribution, keep drawing heavenly thunderbolts and I’ll help you survive your ninth retribution.”

Moments later, the Ten Thousand Swords Sect had two more full-fledged Sufferance cultivators, while Jiang He had eighteen more heavenly thunderbolts.

Everyone else were left dumbfounded, stunned by Jiang He’s actions.

Jiang He ignored that and merely thought, ‘Fifty-four heavenly thunderbolts. Well, it’s enough.’

“By the way, where are the new Nine Retribution Talismans you crafted, Thunder Talisman Daoist?”

The Thunder Talisman Daoist hence took out twenty-eight nine-retribution talismans which he passed to Jiang He and said, “I still have enough heavenly thunderbolts to make over twenty Nine Retribution Talismans. My cultivation has improved a lot now, and after I return to stabilize it, I could start crafting new talismans... I would use up all the thunderbolts in half a month.”

After thanking him, Jiang He said, “Everyone, please wait for a moment. I’m off to handle a little something.”

He stepped inside his farm and planted all twenty-eight Nine Retribution Talismans he had before leaving the farm and heading to the gates, turning toward the Taixu Sect Chieftain who still appeared rather shocked and asked, “What mystic treasure do you want to craft?”

The Taixu Sect Chieftain took out two blueprints.

One depicted an armor, while the other a flying sword.

He then took out some crafting materials, but Jiang He waved him off and said, “No need. How could I accept your materials after taking your mystic treasures? Eh?”

Jiang He found the flying sword on the blueprint rather familiar then, and promptly took out a flying sword which was almost identical to the one on the blueprint, saying, “The flying sword you’ve designed resembles this flying sword a lot, so you can take this one. I’ll just craft the combat armor for you.”

The Taixu Sect accepted the flying sword, and after feeling out the Dao that the flying sword emanated, he exclaimed in shock, “Premium-grade sage weapon?”

“Lord Jiang He, this is too much... I just need a superior-grade sage weapon.”

“Just take it, why talk so much?”

Jiang He shot the Taixu Sect Chieftain a glare and scolded, “Moreover, crafting a superior-grade sage flying sword would need one hour at least. Is my time not valuable at all?”

“...”

The Taixu Sect Chieftain’s eyes lit up and he exclaimed in shock, “One hour?”

The others were extremely shocked as well, and Jin Sidao could not help exclaiming, “Brother Jiang He, you only need one hour to craft a superior-grade sage flying sword?”

Finding himself a little hard-pressed just then, Jiang He thought about it and said, “Well... I’m not too sure about the specific time needed. After all, my item crafting technique was developed without guidance and I did not craft mystic treasures before. I have to craft one to know the specific duration.”

Everyone was rendered speechless then.

Damn it.

That scared us.

So he was putting on airs...

After all, even grandmasters of item refinement would at least need days to craft a superior-grade sage item.

However...

Isn’t it a little ridiculous that you developed an item crafting technique without guidance?

Moreover, you would claim that you could craft a superior-grade sage item without crafting any items before...

Hmmm...

How was everyone supposed to react if Jiang He failed?

What if his embarrassment turned to rage, and he started beating everyone up?

On the other hand, Jiang He was unaware of what was going through the others’ minds, and he said, “Well, let’s head off to the wildlands. This is the first time I’m crafting an item and I might not control the temperature well enough—my house would be gone if I cause an explosion.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!”

Having become wiser with age, Jin Sidao quickly said, “I still have some matters to see to, Lord Jiang He, so I won’t be going... yes, I must visit the nine sects as soon as possible and urge them to pay for their damages for causing you mental distress right away.”

Whoosh.

With that, he was gone.

Of the thirty-six stratagems, running was the best policy—they should avoid getting beaten up if Jiang He felt too embarrassed from failing to craft a mystic item. Even they would not be assaulted, would it not still upset Jiang He that they saw him made a fool of himself?

Once he left, the other two full-fledged Sufferance cultivators of the Ten Thousand Swords Sect excused themselves as well.

On the other hand, the Thunder Talisman Daoist was more honest and exclaimed in surprise, “It’s a great event for you to craft your first item, Mister Jiang He. It would be my great blessing to witness it personally.”

Hence, Jiang He, the Thunder Talisman Daoist, Elder Mo, the Taixu Sect Chieftain, and Wang Hou all arrived at a small hill around fifty kilometers away.

There was no preamble or preparation—Jiang He took a deep breath, and took out some item crafting materials he gathered from the Green Hill Foxes’ treasure vault out of his Void Storage. As he run through the Jiang-style Item Refinement method in his head, he said, “I’m starting right now. Back away, people, or the explosion could reach you.”

Wang Hou and the others promptly backed five hundred meters away.

On the other hand, after Jiang He took out a load of item-crafting materials, he also took out a bucket of water, several bags of salt, vinegar, soy sauce, and other condiments...

He looked up to find Wang Hou and the others staring at himself in confusion and with mouths hanging open. He promptly explained with a smile, “It’s my self-developed secret quenching technique... first, get a bucket of clean water, and then add in suitable amounts of salt, vinegar, soy sauce, condiments, chili powder, starch, cooking wine...”

He continued working as he explained, picking up a dried branch and started stirring the bucket. “Stirring is a must after adding the secret ingredients, and the stirring itself must be just right and not excessive, to mix the ingredients evenly.”

“...”

The faces of Wang Hou and the others were turning green.

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