Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 533: The Gods and Demons Want Revenge on Me?

Both Jiang He and the Jade Emperor arrived outside Tushita Palace, at the Thirty-Three Heavens of the Celestial Court.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Jiang He. My senior brother has an even temper.”

In spite of the Jade Emperor’s reassurance toward Jiang He, the Jade Emperor himself was looking all around them and was obviously nervous. When he saw Jiang He’s curious gaze, he explained, “I’m not being nervous—it’s just that I have not met my senior brother for a long while, and I’m just a little uncertain as I’m afraid he would ask me about my policies over the Celestial Court and the Three Realms.”

What do you even mean, uncertain?!

Jiang He shot back inwardly.

Meanwhile, he studied the palace that was said to be the Celestial Court’s most enigmatic palace.

Although it was called a palace, the Tushita Palace was in fact a small farmer’s cottage, and its scale was no different from a straw hut compared to the other palaces in the Celestial Court that gleamed in golden radiance.

Outside the cottage was several divine farmlands with common fruits and vegetables planted in it.

There were stacks of hay outside the cottage as well, where a blue ox was grazing.

Jiang He stared at the fruits and vegetables then.

Under the impression that he was looking at the blue ox, the Jade Emperor smiled and introduced, “It’s my senior brother’s mount. Its abilities are extraordinary and no average Demi-Saint could beat it.

Jiang He gave an affirmative grunt and praised, “Those vegetables are not bad.”

“...”

The Jade Emperor opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.

Not bad?

Taishang Laojun himself planted those vegetables!

Everyone knew that Taishang Laojun was one of the True Lord of Morality’s clones... and yet, Jiang He was the only person who dared to critique a Saint like that.

“Hah!”

The grazing blue ox whipped its tail loudly through the air when it heard Jiang He. Turning around and leveling its large eyes in disdain toward Jiang He, it sneered in human language. “A squirt like you knows about farming?”

“Hehe.”

Jiang He was immediately pumped at the mention of farming and confidently said, “Others aside, if I, Jiang He, would assert myself as the second best there is in farming, none would dare to claim first place.”

“Insolence!”

The blue ox turned out and leaned on the haystack lazily like a human, holding up its face with one hoof while it chewed on a straw, speaking sloppily, “Really, that old man... what good is there in meeting a brat of such insolence and ignorance?”

“Kid, how many days have you been farming? You dare claim first place?”

Jiang He stared at the blue ox for seconds.

Still, it was not because of what it said. Instead, it was because the animal was not wearing any pants, so when it lay down over the haystack... certain things were hanging out.

Moreover, arguing with an ox?

It was unnecessary.

Quickly taking out several fruits and vegetables he planted in the Farm from his Void Storage, Jiang He threw it out at the blue ox. It was promptly stunned when it finished eating, with shock filling its face.

That was when a ward stepped out from the cottage, bowing at Jiang He and the Jade Emperor before saying, “Your Majesty, Mister Jiang, my master has invited you inside.”

As Jiang He followed the ward into the cottage, he thought to himself, ‘Taishang Laojun’s ward was described as evil in the Journey to the West, turning into the two daemon kings, Golden Horn and Silver Horn... I wonder if this one is Golden Horn or Silver Horn...’

Once Jiang He stepped through the doorway, his eyes twitched involuntarily, showing a look of surprise.

There was clearly another world within the cottage and it felt like the alternate dimension of the Primeval Lord of Heaven.

“Perhaps this cottage had been an alternate dimension in the first place, but the True Lord of Morality had altered it to this appearance?” The idea occurred to Jiang He then, and he looked forward to find a cane chair beneath the loquat tree at the center of the cottage yard.

Dressed in Daoist robes, Taishang Laojun sat upon the cane chair, divine fruits and the husks of sunflower seeds piling on the stone table beside him.

Jiang He studied the legendary figure.

Despite having white hair and white beard, Taishang Laojun did not have too many wrinkles, and his eyes were closed to rest his mind.

Nonetheless, the old man seemed to sense the instant when Jiang He looked at him, and slowly opened his spirited eyes where cosmic bodies seemed to spin.

“Jiang He, a child of humankind, requesting an audience!”

Jiang He bowed and offered a fist-palm salute.

One must not address a Saint directly with their name or title, as it would be impolite.

And yet, the corner of his eye shifted to Taishang Laojun’s feet as he put fist to palm... where a plastic bag that appeared to be packaging for snacks lay.

“Qia Qia... sunflower seeds?”

Jiang He could not help being taken aback after seeing the words on the package.

He would not have been surprised if it was packaging for spicy potato strips, French fries, or potato chips since Dumbo had bought a lot of those snacks before leaving Earth... but Qia Qia sunflower seeds were definitely not included!

At the same time, Taishang Laojun sensed Jiang He’s gaze and smiled. “I’ve been to the homeworld just a few days ago, and bought myself some of the delicacies there.”

“Jiang He, I know about what you’ve accomplished on the homeworld, and you have done well.”

“I had also studied your Martial Scripture for myself, and it truly is a sacred text for martial arts. In the future, the new martial cultivation system that you’ve established would also become prominent across worlds.”

Jiang He felt a little embarrassed after being praised so directly by Taishang Laojun, and humbly replied, “The new martial cultivation system was not actually my personal accomplishment. Martial arts would not have progressed to its current state if Minister Wang had not taken the most important step... he had also offered me many suggestions and inspiration when I developed the Martial Scripture as well.”

***

Taishang Laojun was not a person who put on airs.

Speaking with him was a breath of fresh air for Jiang He, and he felt no pressure in the presence of a Saint.

While he was a little nervous at first, he soon relaxed after a few exchanges.

Then, after some idle talk, Taishang Laojun finally asked the Jade Emperor about his arrangements with regards to the Celestial Court and the current state of the war between worlds.

The Jade Emperor promptly replied, “The God-Demon alliance and their vassal races suffered severe casualties after the clash in the Grand Luo battlefield, and would hardly pose a threat to us for the next few hundred thousand years. Now, living beings could win against the Three Realms in the Grand Luo battlefield, and I have already sent Grand Luo there in preparations to fully excavate all secret realms within.”

There were several secret realms in the Grand Lujo battlefield.

Though dangers lurked everywhere within those Secret Realms, it went hand-in-hand with Great Providence.

“Even so, the God-Demon alliance and their vassal races would definitely retaliate after what happened. However, as battles between Demi-Saints are not so easily waged and they would never win against us in the Grand Luo battlefield, the fight would most likely occur in the three battlefields for Golden Immortals, Heavenly Immortals, and True Immortals respectively.”

“I have commanded that all Three Realms immortals evacuate from those battlefields to avoid unnecessary losses.”

However, Taishang Laojun waved his hand and flatly said, “There’s no need.”

Eh?

The Jade Emperor did a double take.

Rather hesitant, he said, “Senior Brother, the number of Golden Immortals, Heavenly Immortals, and True Immortals that the God-Demon alliance and their vassal races command outnumber ours by more than ten times... If they don’t evacuate soon, we would suffer terrible casualties once the God-Demon alliance attack!”

Taishang Laojun smiled. “They would never dare.”

The Jade Emperor was speechless.

“As a matter of fact, when you were fighting at the Grand Luo battlefield, the patriarchs of the God race and the Demon race had left the God Realm and the Demon Realm, intent on heading to the Grand Luo battlefield. However, I stopped them.”

The Jade Emperor was at first taken aback by those words, but soon become delighted!

He knew very well what it means if Taishang Laojun could stop the patriarchs of the God race and the Demon race all by himself, both of whom were the strongest Saints existing.

His voice shaking a little with thrill, he asked, “You’ve reached that level, Senior Brother?”

“I hadn’t.”

Taishang Laojun shook his head and did not continue speaking on that subject. Instead, he turned toward Jiang He and said, “I know the patriarchs of the God race and the Demon race. Right now, they would seal of their respective realms and try to reduce any conflicts with the Three Realms as much as they can.”

“Even so...”

“The God Realm and the Demon Realm would never sit and watch as another Saint joins our ranks. They definitely would make a move on you, Jiang He.”

Jiang He was immediately shocked. “The Saints of the God and Demon race intend to kill me?”

“They would never dare to attack as long as I’m here.”

Jiang He breathed a sigh of relief, his heart immediately relieved as he said with complete confidence, “As long as the Saints would not make a move, the God and Demon race can come at me as much as they want.”

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