Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Chapter 74: I’ll Do Handstands and Eat Poo If It Is Not Fuel-Air Explosive!

“What is Duan Tianhe playing at?”

“He didn’t even tell me whether photographs count. But both Tranquil Heavenly General and the Earth Demon Heavenly General are rank-seven grandmasters, so this should earn me a lot of merit points, right?”

“That said... Am I really that awesome although I’m just rank-five advanced? My trump cards were barely used, and I could already cut grandmasters down with ease?”

Before Jiang He came to the mines, he was under the impression that both the Tranquil Heavenly General and the Earth Demon Heavenly General would not be easy opponents. If he couldn’t beat them, he would have summoned the Bottle Gourd Brothers and have his Ferrari Enzo change into a Transformer, surrounding them and beating them to death...

But then...

He had easily defeated those two Heavenly Generals alone, and the strategy he had decided on beforehand was wasted!

Even as Jiang He complained, he was about to take some photos, send them to Duan Tianhe before going home to sleep. However, Duan Tianhe’s call came just as he took out his phone.

“Jiang He, where are you right now?”

“I’ve already sent my people to the Ningdong Mines.”

Well, he had to wait now.

He glanced at the time. It was already four in the morning, and he was a little hungry.

With a flip of his hand, he took out a carrot.

The 18cm carrot was as thick as it was sweet and crunchy. The texture was overflowing, and it nourishes both liver and eyes—most importantly, it fills the stomach when you are hungry.

After finishing one, Jiang He cleaned his mouth in satisfaction and glanced at his phone again to check the time.

Less than five minutes had passed.

“It would probably around twenty minutes before the people Jiang He sent arrive. Luckily, this spot isn’t too far from the Leopard Python’s nest... should I go meet my old friend?”

And once he thought of the Leopard Python, Jiang He felt a little hungry again.

That snake soup was really delicious!

Likewise, smoked snake was fresh and tasty, and he would never get bored of it. And most importantly, the meat of the rank-seven Leopard Python was very nourishing.

Jiang He rose, casted Blind Princess’s Eight Practices, and sprinted towards the chain of yellow-soil mountains like a phantom.

Soon, the familiar mountain ditch appeared within sight.

Jiang He took out a pea bomb and threw it at the valley.

Surely, greetings were needed when old friends meet?

Boom!

The pea bomb blew up over the valley in dazzling flames, and the valley itself seemed to shudder in the next instant. Pythons after pythons were startled, and the Leopard Python itself reared its colossal head to look at Jiang He.

“Human!”

“You again!”

An angry bellow resounded beside Jiang He’s ears. Flicking its scarlet serpentine tongue, the Leopard Python breathed a sharp noise—all at once, the pythons that had been pouring out of the valley like a tidal wave towards Jiang He instantly vanished from Jiang He’s vision.

The rank-seven Leopard Python was quite intelligent.

In their last encounter, Jiang He had cut off its tail with a single swing of his sword. That was why it knew that Jiang was formidable, and that sending its children forth would only be sending them to their deaths.

But now that it had slithered out from the valley, Jiang He had to click his tongue discreetly.

“Heavens!”

He did not manage to see the Leopard Python’s full body last time.

But now that he watched it slither out from the valley, an approximate number promptly came to Jiang He’s mind...

That creature was at least two hundred meters long!

Would he finish eating it?

Still, even as the thought crossed his mind, Jiang He looked up towards the Leopard Python.

Its head was bigger than a car, and was almost triangular.

The scales above its head were also different from the markings on its body that resembled a leopard’s spots—they felt rather stony. Its venomous fangs were also incredibly sharp and over one meter long.

And now, the colossal python’s head was advancing, and less than a hundred meters away from Jiang He.

“I have nothing against you and don’t wish to be your enemy, human. Leave immediately and I shall spare your life!”

The Leopard Python gaped its maw, flicking its scarlet tongue and leaving the air whooshing.

It was very wary against Jiang He, and still had lingering fears about the single cut that had removed its tail.

As its voice echoed over Jiang He’s ears, he could also smell the disgusting stink from its maw. Hence, he could not help pinching his nose and firing back, “You are such a weird snake. Your meat is so delicious, so why would your mouth stink so much?”

Roar!

The Leopard Python which had been unwilling to fight Jiang He became furious!

Its mouth gaping in a bellow, its serpentine head streaked through the air and chomped down towards Jiang He, its spiritual voice echoing beside Jiang He’s ears. “Damned human! You dare eat my flash? I shall devour you today!”

Question: when would snakes move the quickest?

It was the split second when they launched their heads to strike, similar to tortoises.

And having evolved up to rank-seven, the Leopard Python was even more terrific in that respect.

With a single whoosh, Jiang He only managed to catch of glimpse of a blurred dark shadow when the gigantic snakehead had landed from above. Its maw wipe open, the Leopard Python was chomping down towards him, and the creature would definitely swallow him alive if it really got him!

Nonetheless, Jiang He smirked.

“You must really want to die!”

With a flick of his wrist, his Dragon-Slaying Saber appeared in his hand.

He slashed.

Crack!

A ten-meter thunder slash burst away.

At the same time—

Ooom!

The hum of a blade.

The luminous sword in Jiang He’s mind had flown out, and shot inside the giant serpent’s open mouth with a thud.

Rawr!

The serpent cried.

It tried to close its mouth, but it was too late.

The ten-meter thunder slash had cut into its head, almost splitting its skull in two.

Even so, the most frightening strike was still the luminous sword.

The short blade of light enlarged in the instant it stabbed inside the Leopard Python, letting loose waves of Sword Qi that raged on. Eventually, with a gushing sound, it tore through the Leopard Python’s belly and flew out, before returning inside Jiang He’s mind.

He felt a little repulsed just then.

The sword that was caked with blood returning inside his head... was that not a little too disgusting?

Meanwhile, he hid further away and watched the Leopard Python.

The creature was rolling around on the ground, struggling and screeching incessantly, crashing and crushing a small hill ahead of itself...

“The lifeforce of Ferals is so mighty!”

Jiang He exclaimed, “If it had been a human, a rank-eight would have been killed instantly by my hands if caught unawares, let alone a rank-seven!”

He had to wait five minutes for the Leopard Python to finally die.

Its 200m long body probably weighed hundreds of tons.

Fortunately, Jiang He had more than enough space in his System Backpack, and he stuffed the Leopard Python’s corpse inside with no more than a thought.

“It’s just so huge... when would I finish eating it?”

Once he thought of the tons of snake meat, he suddenly thought that it was not delicious anymore.

Just as he was about to leave, he heard the incessant cries in the way from untold numbers of serpents.

“The Leopard Python must have been their leader, their king... some of them have gained intelligence, which is why they are in absolute agony with their leader’s death!”

“Well, since I was the cause of their agony, I shall be the one to alleviate it!”

With a flick of his wrist, Jiang He grasped a handful of strengthened pea bombs and dumped them over the valley.

The tremendous explosions almost flattened the valley, its powerful flames illuminating the night sky.

Jiang He only stopped prostrating and clutching his head when the shockwaves dissipated, rising slowly and sprinting back towards the Ningdong Mines.

Yeah.

He just had to blow them all up, sparing them their agony.

Moreover, there was no telling how many people those pythons killed when the Ferals first attacked Ningdong, and now, Jiang he more or less avenged the dead.

***

An off-road vehicle was bounding towards the city of ruins that was Ningdong.

On it, Cheng Dongfeng’s gaze shifted southeast, only to find flames rising into the night sky, followed by the rumblings of more explosions.

“Explosion! Another one!”

“What the heck is Jiang He doing?”

After several exclamations of surprise, the car turned silent.

“Pudgy Jiang, you are an expert in this field. Could you tell what the bomb Jiang He had been using was?” Cheng Dongfeng asked then.

Pudgy Jiang did not even think before answering, “It’s a fuel-air explosive. It definitely is a fuel-air explosive. If it wasn’t a fuel-air explosive, I’ll do handstands and eat poo!”

But in the next instant, he sensed that something was not right.

How did the brat Jiang He managed to acquire the fuel-air explosive?

Moreover, fuel-air explosives were not hand grenades that could be carried around as you like, blowing things up whenever you want!

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