Joy of Life

Chapter 258: Absurdities in the Rear House

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Fan Xian made a fist and put it to his mouth to stifle a cough. He walked up and pushed at the door, and this time it swung open. He understood what had happened. Since he and his wife were about to quarrel, there was no point in closing the entrance to the arena of their argument. Even Fan Xian’s coughing had been intended to signal to his wife that he had arrived, and there were matters to discuss in the bedroom.

Theirs was a world in which men were to be revered. Lin Wan’er was of a more noble background that Fan Xian, but since she had married into the Fan family, she was expected not to voice her dissatisfaction so directly. But their meeting as husband and wife was unlike that of any normal noble family. Although Fan Xian could not free himself from the control of his male hormones, on a psychological level, he thoroughly respected women.

In the end, it was all Fan Xian’s own fault. His sister was planning to run away from home, and his wife was jealous. He hadn’t managed it all alone, but he had perhaps made it worse.

“Master.” The servant girl Sisi covered her mouth to hide her smile as she greeted him. She took off his outer layer of clothing and handed him a towel. Fan Xian waved a hand, indicating that he had already cleansed himself. Looking at the young woman’s sinister smile, he couldn’t help but sigh to himself. Of course it wasn’t just limited to Ruoruo and Wan’er. Even the servant girl whom he had grown up with, whom he had loved regardless of their different stations, now mocked his valor as she looked upon the scene of their domestic drama.

Lin Wan’er was lying on the bed, covered by a light quilt pulled up to her chest. Her black hair cascaded loosely down to her shoulders, and she looked as if she had just woken up. Her big eyes looked around the room, looking curiously and happily at her returning husband, greeting him without any of the anger that Fan Xian had expected. She stuck up her delicate nose and groaned slightly. “My lord, I did not come to greet you. Please do not take offense.”

Fan Xian saw her teeth behind her lips, white as rice and delicate as porcelain. He smiled and sat by her bedside. He explained nothing, concealed nothing, and said nothing. He placed a hand under the cover, taking her slightly cold hand and squeezing it. In their many months apart, he had missed the touch of her soft, dainty hands.

At that point, Sisi was still in the room, and Lin Wan’er felt rather bashful. With a sideways glance, Fan Xian saw that Sisi was pretending to tidy up the medicine box on the table, and yet her eyes were still looking in their direction. He couldn’t help but smile as he scolded her. “This woman does spoil you, doesn’t she? And she’s not afraid of needles. Hurry up and get going, will you?”

Sisi laughed, bowed to her master and mistress, and left the room, closing the door behind her. By chance, she happened upon Siqi, who was bringing a tray of food back from the front house to serve to Wan’er. She hurried to block her from entering. Siqi was a servant-girl who had followed Wan’er to Fan Manor when she married. She was of the same position as Sisi, and the two of them got on well. Seeing her block the path, she immediately understood what the master and mistress were doing, and couldn’t help but give a wry smile. Then she looked down at the food she was holding. “The young master has just returned home, surely he’ll want something to eat.”

Sisi laughed. “Those just look like snacks to stave off hunger. Aren’t they making a proper dinner in the front house? Besides... the young master has something else to eat.”

Siqi thought the comment rather coquettish, especially as it involved her mistress. It wasn’t the sort of joke a servant should make. She glared at Sisi, harrumphed, and set down her tray of food in the neighboring wing of the house.

Sisi was somewhat stunned. Then she realized the frivolousness of her words, stuck out her tongue, and followed after her. A little while later, after a moment of silence in the side room, there was the sound of quiet giggling. The two servant girls had reconciled.

On the big bed, beneath the large blanket, Fan Xian stuck out his hand and untied the hair tied up on top of his head. At home, he liked to wear it tied behind his head, leaving it free. His mouth felt a little dry, and he took a sip from the teacup on the bedside table. He thought for a moment, and then raised it to Wan’er’s lips, giving it to her to drink.

Wan’er gave him a gentle glance. Her cheeks flushed as she sipped the tea. She seemed to rouse from a daze, and she bashfully and angrily bit him on the left arm. “What’s made you so impatient? It’s nearly nighttime and you’ve let the servants guess what you’re doing. How can you do such things?”

Fan Xian snickered and turned to embrace his wife. His fingers traced along the soft skin of her upper arm, and he felt thoroughly content. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we’ve been apart for so long. Who would begrudge us a little tenderness?” He looked around and carried on his teasing. “Besides, if I weren’t so impatient, perhaps you might begin to suspect what I was up to outside.”

Hearing this, Lin Wan’er remembered that she had intended to argue with her husband today. How could she let him in so easily? It was if he had swindled his way in, leaving her hypnotized, forgetting what she had even wanted to say to him. Perhaps he had some sort of enchanting power. As she thought about it, she felt somewhat ashamed and embarrassed. She lightly hammered at him with her fist. “Don’t think you can make me forget. I was going to ask you what that verse was supposed to mean.”

Fan Xian licked his dry lips. His elegant face matched this expression quite well; there was nothing obscene about it. Instead, there was a slightly sinister air to it. He had always been active when it came to marriage. He didn’t pay attention to what Wan’er might be thinking. They could go to bed first, and talk later. After an act of intimacy, women would always cling to their men, the ache in their heart quieted for a while. But he knew that this matter would eventually come to a head, so he took the initiative to bring it up. “How could you not let me in? I’ve a mind to spank your bottom!”

Lin Wan’er leaned against his chest. “Spank me if you like. You only bully me anyway.”

“How can you say that?” said Fan Xian, laughing. “Are you angry at me because I didn’t bring you a chicken wing all the way back from Northern Qi?”

Lin Wan’er got up, half-crouching on the bed. She undid her clothing, revealing her bare shoulders. She stared at Fan Xian, and after a moment of silence, she spoke. “I wasn’t happy before.”

Even if the women of this world were jealous, it is unlikely that any of them would be so open about it as Lin Wan’er. So Fan Xian was at something of a loss, unsure of how to respond for a moment. He could only choose his words carefully. “What have you got to drink vinegar about? That verse was just something I wrote, but it’s not what you think it is.” [1]

“What do you mean ‘drink vinegar’?” Lin Wan’er didn’t understand what he meant.

Fan Xian then finally remembered that this world didn’t have the story of Lady Fang drinking vinegar in a suicide attempt to demonstrate her sincerity. He laughed and told her the story, but pretended that it was something he had read by a writer from long ago.

After Lin Wan’er heard the tale, she sighed at Madam Fang’s strong will. But she also felt that the tale had been made up by her husband, perhaps written just so he could tell it to her; she couldn’t help but feel rather angry. “I’m not the kind of angry person who wants to control you completely. Sisi and Siqi always want to come in here. You don’t need to tell me stories.”

Fan Xian knew that his wife had gotten the wrong idea. He laughed. “If you don’t want to control me, then you’re not going about it the right way.” Lin Wan’er, after all, had grown up in the palace, and didn’t much understand the hidden affection in her husband’s words. “If you’re not jealous, then why didn’t you let me come in before?”

Lin Wan’er was still half-kneeling on the bed. She puffed out her cheeks and was quiet for a moment before she spoke. “Did you not know that that verse has already spread through the land? Everybody in the capital knows it. The immortal of poetry said he would never compose again, and then he leaves for Northern Qi and breaks his vow for a woman.”

“It’s just one verse. If you want to hear it, then I’ll write one for you every day,” Fan Xian beamed.

“Just one verse?” said Lin Wan’er quietly. “I hear that in Shangjing you walked around with that Haitang woman every day, sitting together and drinking with her, wandering the streets on rainy nights. It has become quite the story.”

Fan Xian felt embittered. He knew that the Emperor of Northern Qi must have spread this news, and as it spread from person to the next, it would make Lin Wan’er feel rather uncomfortable. He was getting ready to explain when she interrupted him. “Tell me, my husband... this Haitang, what is she like?”

Fan Xian was taken aback. Of course, he could not praise Haitang to the heavens. But for some unknown reason, he didn’t want to lie to his wife either, and say that Haitang had not a single redeeming feature – even though every man will lie to his wife on their bed without shame. He thought for a moment before he spoke. “Haitang is the last disciple of Ku He, grandmaster of Northern Qi. She is a favorite of the Emperor and has great stature within the palace. Since our diplomatic mission was undertaken for the benefit of the Kingdom of Qing, then it is only natural that I should form a friendship with such a person.”

Lin Wan’er shook her head and sighed. “Haitang had no such reputation in the south, but now everyone knows of her position in the north. This woman... does her status allow her to become a concubine?”

Fan Xian was shocked. This question had come out of the blue. Lin Wan’er sighed. “I presume that a woman like that has her sights set high. If you weren’t the kind of man you were, then she wouldn’t pay you any notice. But her status makes it difficult to arrange things in the future. I am angry with you because you never think of the consequences of your actions, and you can’t help but make trouble.”

Fan Xian laughed. “I’m really not looking to make her my concubine. What consequences? Wan’er, don’t be silly.”

Lin Wan’er was rather shocked. For some reason, she began to feel a sort of sympathy for Haitang. “So you were planning to have your fun with her and then spurn her?” she scolded.

Fan Xian waved a hand dismissively, stifling a laugh. “There was no fun, and there was no spurning!”

Lin Wan’er gazed at him suspiciously. “Really?” she asked. “Then why did you write her poetry to flirt with her?”

“Flirt?” Fan Xian was dumbfounded. He thought for a moment, then told his wife everything that had been arranged before leaving the capital, and all of the goings-on in Shangjing. Then he shook his head. “Haitang is a highly accomplished fighter. Save for the four grandmasters, it’s possible that she might be one of the strongest people in the world. As I was going to come into contact with her, it was only natural that I had to prepare my weapons.”

Lin Wan’er frowned. “Are you telling me the truth?”

“I am,” replied Fan Xian, laughing. “When two countries are in conflict, then psychological warfare is paramount.” [2]

Some time passed between them. Then Lin Wan’er finally sighed. “Dear... you are shameless indeed.”

Having dealt with one domestic disagreement, Fan Xian thought for a moment, and then told her about his struggle with the Great Prince to enter the city first. He knew that Wan’er had grown up in the palace, and had more of a right to speak on palace matters such as these than he did. So after they were married, he had slowly gotten used to discussing his own plans with her.

As she heard him tell the story, she frowned. She came to the same conclusion as Yan Bingyun – that Fan Xian hadn’t needed to offend the Great Prince so, and had really done more than was required. Fan Xian couldn’t explain his own secret worries to his wife. All he could do was laugh gently. “Wan’er, you don’t care about why I did such a thing. Just tell me, do you think this will make the palace believe that the Great Prince and I will become enemies?”

Lin Wan’er looked at him and smiled. “It’s hard to say.”

Fan Xian was rather stunned. “Why?”

Lin Wan’er sighed once more. “There’s something you’ve been doing wrong all this time. In the eyes of the bureaucracy and of the people, the Overwatch Council is a sinister and shadowy organization. The officials of the Six Ministries all secretly curse you behind your backs, but it’s not that everyone hates the Council... like the military, or the Bureau of Military Affairs, or the western armies. They all have good relations with the Overwatch Council.”

Fan Xian immediately understood what she meant. For an army to march and to do battle, intelligence and logistics were most important, and the Overwatch Council’s network of spies stretched across the land. They provided the utmost support to the military, allowing them to minimize casualties, and so it was only natural that the military liked the Overwatch Council. He frowned. “That’s one thing, but the Great Prince wanted to return to the capital and show off his military power. The opinion of the military is no great influence upon him.”

Lin Wan’er didn’t understand why he absolutely had to let the palace believe that he wasn’t on good terms with all three princes at the same time. She sighed. “There’s something else. Perhaps you’ve forgotten; of the three princes, the one that I am closest to... is the Great Prince. Even if it’s just for my sake, he can’t hold a grudge against you.”

Fan Xian laughed bitterly. He knew that when Wan’er was young, she had spent much of her time in the palace with the concubine Ning the Talented, and it was only natural that she was closest to the Great Prince. But when he was thinking it over, intentionally or otherwise, he had overlooked their connection.

Or perhaps, deep down, he hadn’t wanted to associate his wife with the Great Prince.

Lin Wan’er knew that Fan Xian was worried about something. “I think you worry too much, dear. I know you’re concerned about His Majesty’s health, but he has many more years left to live.”

Fan Xian sighed and clutched her to his chest. “He who gives no thought to faraway problems soon finds suffering nearby. [3] From the atmosphere in the capital on my return, I can tell that the Crown Prince and the Great Prince will not be willing to let me take over the palace treasury next year.”

“What happened to the idea I gave you last year in the Cang Mountains?” Lin Wan’er was no longer like a 16-year-old girl. She was more like an accomplished advisor now. After all, she was the daughter of the Eldest Princess, and such things can be passed on from generation to generation, so Fan Xian had always trusted her suggestions. But he had never agreed with the suggestion she made in the Cang Mountains.

He lowered his head slightly, and spoke slowly yet resolutely. “Requesting the transfer of power is, by reason, the most appropriate thing to do. A young official such as myself, in control of both the Overwatch Council and the palace treasury. The Emperor’s favor weighs heavily upon me indeed. My power really is too great. I can’t let this happen... but Wan’er, I can’t let go of the palace treasury.”

Although Wan’er did not know exactly why her husband could not relinquish his control over the treasury, as his wife, she could only quietly support him. She nodded. “I understand.”

“Since I can’t let go of the palace treasury,” continued Fan Xian, “then I can’t let go of the Overwatch Council either.”

If the palace treasury were a pile of gold, then the Overwatch Council was the army protecting that pile. If he only had the treasury, then Fan Xian would be left exposed and completely insecure, waiting to be recklessly humiliated by the people in the palace.

Lin Wan’er sighed and shook her head. “It’s difficult for you.” She suddenly looked him in the eye. “Are you confident?”

Fan Xian smiled and patted her cheek. “I won’t say that I’m happy, but I’ve always been arrogant. Even narcissistic. You know that as well as I do.”

Lin Wan’er smiled and suddenly kissed him on the lips. “I still have another way.”

Fan Xian was intrigued. “What?”

There was a glint in Lin Wan’er’s eye. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “Bring Haitang here as your concubine!”

Fan Xian was shocked. His wife was no ordinary woman.

“Haitang is an upper ninth-level fighter. You said that she might well end up becoming a grandmaster one day. If we were to have a grandmaster in our house, and one with the strength of Ku He behind her, then even the princes wouldn’t dare do anything against us. Even the Emperor would try to win you over. Look at Ye Zhong and his family. There’s only Ye Liuyun, and yet they’ve moved unhindered through the bureaucracy for over a decade without a single defeat...”

Fan Xian knew that she was right. If he were to take Haitang as a concubine, then it would be seen by all as a great badge of honor. But he didn’t know whether his wife was merely testing him one more time. So he laughed sinisterly. “But... Haitang really isn’t much to look at.”

Lin Wan’er was stunned for a moment. “You cad!” she admonished him.

Fan Xian laughed. Then he thought about what Lin Wan’er had said about the Ye family – Ye Zhong was commander of the city garrison, and Ye Ling’er was soon to marry the Second Prince. What did the Emperor think of all this? Or the grandmaster? If the situation proceeded as it was supposed to, as Fan Xian saw it, perhaps the palace had no worries about Ye Liuyun at all.

He frowned. “When I wasn’t in the capital, did Ye Zhong resign from his post in the garrison?”

Lin Wan’er shook her head.

Fan Xian sighed. “Has your mother sent a letter?” By “mother”, he meant the Eldest Princess in Xinyang. He knew that Wan’er had no feelings for the woman, but it felt best to him to be respectful in her presence.

Lin Wan’er shook her head again, her face expressionless. Fan Xian felt pity. He gently stroked her brow. “How’s your health? I was focusing on all the other stuff before, and I didn’t even ask about the most important thing. Forgive me.”

Lin Wan’er smiled. “Master Fei came to see me often. He’s been giving me pills to keep my strength up. I feel quite well.”

Fan Xian nodded. “It seems that our stay in the Cang Mountains did you good. This year, when winter comes, we’ll all go stay there as a family. It’s a pity that we didn’t even bathe in the hot springs last year.”

Their voices got quieter as they whispered sweet nothings and hummed love songs to each other. The noise of the serving girl’s anxious yell coming from outside took them by surprise. “Master! Mistress! Dinner is served. His Lordship asks that you make haste.”

Fan Xian gave a strange yelp, threw off the covers, and immediately began to get dressed. He had been preparing to only spend a little while in the rear house before going on to give his salutations to his father. He hadn’t expected to get so comfortable. He had completely forgotten that his father was waiting in the study. When he thought of his father’s strict, solemn face, Fan Xian could imagine his anger. Fan Xian had travelled a thousand miles home, and instead of first paying his respects to his parents, he had gone to cavort with his wife. It was shockingly unfilial.

Wan’er reproached him as she also pulled on her clothes. Sisi and Siqi stood guard outside the door. Listening outside, they entered to help their master and mistress get dressed quicker. Following their servants carrying a lantern, pretending as if nothing had happened, they entered the front house.

In the great hall, the servant girls waited quietly to one side. Fan Jian, Count Sinan, Minister of Revenue, sat in the middle of the hall. Lady Liu, his former concubine, had already been made his wife, but she was still standing by his side, arranging his cup and his chopsticks, as was the custom. Fan Ruoruo sat on his left, looking pensive. Fan Sizhe sat at the other end of the table, his hands hidden as he toyed with the object Fan Xian had given him before.

Seeing Fan Xian and Lin Wan’er enter, Ruoruo stood up. Fan Sizhe hurriedly hid the object inside his sleeve, and bowed toward them alongside his sister. Count Sinan did not look at Fan Xian, but nodded at Lin Wan’er. His daughter-in-law’s status was such that he could not ignore her.

Great families have many rules and customs, but Count Sinan was busy with official business, so he rarely ate dinner at home. Today, Fan Xian had returned, so it was a more formal occasion than usual. There was not a single sound at the table. After they all finished eating, Count Sinan finally looked at his son. His voice was calm. “You are to be made a baron.”

[1] In the story, Emperor Taizong of Tang offers his Prime Minister Fang Xuanling several concubines. He refuses on account of his wife’s jealousy. The Emperor then summons his wife, telling her that if she refuses to let them enter their home, then she will have to drink poison. He expects her to back down, but she drinks the liquid, only to find that it is vinegar. Thus, in Chinese, “drinking vinegar” is used to mean jealousy.

[2] Fan Xian quotes Ma Su, a general in the Three Kingdoms period under Zhuge Liang.

[3] Fan Xian quotes from the Analects of Confucius.

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