Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 1214: Leader of the Four Nation-Destroying Beauties

That’s it? Zu An thought as he looked through the text several times. He had thought that there would be more, but there was nothing. The item he had pulled only had such a simple function?

All it freaking does is change a freaking nickname! What the hell can that do for me? I don’t even have a habit of giving people nicknames.

Wait…

He suddenly thought of something. If it were this item alone, it really wouldn’t be worth anything. But if he used it properly, it would have world-changing effects! Unfortunately, it was a one-time use item. If it had unlimited uses, wouldn’t it make him invincible?

What was even more frustrating was the description didn’t go into detail on how long the effects would last at all! That information was absolutely vital! But he had no way of testing it out.

This damn keyboard system only has defective crap, as expected.

He continued pulling the gacha.

Thank you for playing!

Thank you for playing!

Congratulations on pulling a Ki Fruit!

Thank you for playing!

…

Zu An’s eyes twitched. It seemed he wasn’t some crazy gacha legend after all.

The shining indicator continued to move around, but all he got were Ki Fruits or the usual ‘thank you for playing’ message. He was starting to grow numb to it all.

Suddenly, the keyboard shone, and once again stopped on a special key: The shift key!

Congratulations on pulling a Tiger Talisman!

A Tiger Talisman?

Zu An became a bit absent-minded. It had been a while since he last pulled one. The first time he had used a Tiger Talisman, he had pulled Daji. The second time, he had gotten a bunch of trash. He wondered what he would be able to get this time.

He quickly finished pulling. His luck actually wasn’t that bad in the end; he had managed to pull 205 Ki Fruits even after getting the Nickname Card. He even got three Tiger Talismans in the end!

Zu An initially considered saving them up and pulling ten together. However, he suddenly remembered that he had tried to save them last time, and yet hadn’t gotten a single thing.

Daoist and Confucian ideals can’t save bad luck; neither can swiping a credit card!

The hell am I saving them up for?!

He decisively used the talismans, and a familiar feeling quickly overcame him. He felt as if his soul had left his body and flown upward, eventually reaching the vast and boundless universe.

In the heavens above, apart from the celestial bodies, there were some flickering specks of light as well. After the last two experiences, he had realized that those specks weren’t stars, but rather powerful remnants from different worlds across spacetime that hadn’t yet dispersed for various reasons, left drifting between heaven and earth.

There was a chance of forming a connection with them through the Tiger Talismans. Eventually, they would become valkyries like Daji, establishing a certain kind of contact with Zu An. Of course, there was a higher chance that he would get some random trash from those different worlds.

He closed his eyes and focused on making connections with them, sensing the specks of light. Now that he had finally condensed his soul, his perception was much greater than it had been the last two times.

Previously, he had thought that his soul would resonate with the specks of light, and he could subsequently guide them over to his side. This time, however, he discovered that most of them were extremely far from him and that he couldn't even reach them at all.

Sometimes, however, the specks of light drifted close to the borders of this world. Only when they were somewhat close would he be able to sense them. As such, it wasn’t so much that he could choose from the lights, but rather that some of them just happened to ‘pass by’ near him. Only then would he have a chance of calling them over. If the things closest to him were just trash, no matter how good his luck was, he would only be able to summon trash.

“This thing really depends on affinity!” Zu An said with a deep sigh. He wondered whether there was anyone he was destined for this time.

Soon afterward, a speck of light resonated with him. Then, it answered his summons and rushed over.

Congratulations on summoning the Great Fleshy Root![1]

Zu An was a bit shocked. There weren’t any introductions for any of the specks of light he had summoned before. Was this thing really that special?

Don’t tell me I can even summon weapons or great treasures this way?

Judging from the name, it sounded more like the latter.

.

When it finally appeared in front of him, Zu An saw that it was a plant-like item. It resembled a fungus, with a mushroom head on one end. On top of the mushroom head was a mouth-like opening with a small hole in it. Its surface was extremely smooth.

Zu An was speechless.

He remembered seeing something on the news in his previous world; a report had said that while a villager was digging a well, he had discovered something strange a hundred meters down. He had thought that it was the legendary Great Fleshy Root, so the local television station had sent over a reporter once they received the news.

But the one they had sent was a young lady who had just graduated. She had still been too innocent to recognize what it was. She had thought that it was something incredible, and had even continued to fiddle with it in front of all the cameras as a demonstration.

However, the experienced veterans online had immediately recognized it to be a fleshlight. This thing was exactly the same as the one he had seen back then!

I’ve been freaking scammed!

Zu An’s eyes twitched. Why had this damn thing established some kind of soul connection with him?

F*ck off!

Zu An’s face darkened. He clenched the Tiger Talismans in his hand and continued with the next summoning. This time, he sensed a speck of light throbbing intensely. He felt a surge of happiness, thinking, Looks like I’m going to succeed this time.

Then, the speck of light shot over, appearing in front of him. Zu An’s heart instantly sank when he saw that it wasn’t human shaped.

Congratulations on summoning Blue Ice From Beyond.

In front of him was a chunk of blue ice. The air around it was incredibly cold. He could vaguely make out something wrapped inside. This thing looked extraordinary!

Zu An thought to himself for a bit. He had spent a fair amount of time cultivating in this world and had even concocted medicines, so he had some impression of most well-known things. However, he had never heard of such blue ice before.

When he saw that there seemed to be something wrapped within the blue ice, he suddenly remembered Yu Yanluo mentioning before that there were some legendary ki stones that not only aided in cultivation, but also had some ancient things sealed in them; for example, weapons, medicines, and other such things.

Zu An thought to himself, Don’t tell me this is some kind of special ki stone too?

He raised his hand, and an invisible blade of sword ki gently cut open the chunk of blue ice. He acted carefully for fear of damaging what was inside.

Hm?

The blue ice wasn’t as hard as he had imagined. Even though it was a bit tougher than rock, it was still far from a ki stone. It didn’t seem like some kind of rare treasure at all.

As his sword ki seeped in further, a foul smell swept outward. His expression changed. He quickly pulled his hand back, and used the ice element to freeze it again.

He finally knew what this thing was!

In his previous world, he had watched the program ‘Approaching Science’ before. Two pieces of blue ice had descended from the sky, smashing into a certain rural villager’s home in Hebei province. Upon seeing it, an elder had quickly carried the two pieces back. He had even said that they were special water, a primordial medicine from ancient times that was guaranteed to cure all diseases. As such, he had begun drinking it every day to strengthen his own body.

However, after some specialists came to investigate, they found out that the ice contained urine and feces treated through ANOTEC chemical processing in an airplane…

When he thought about how he had almost followed in that old peasant’s footsteps, Zu An was about to curse out loud. However, he suddenly realized something. It wasn’t that he had affinity with these things, but rather that they all came from his world! That could be why he had been able to successfully summon them, right?

When he thought of that, he suddenly felt a bit of intimacy with the two things that had emerged. He thought to himself, I guess I’ll collect them to trick other people.

.

After realizing that he hadn’t gotten those things due to any flaws in his own character, Zu An’s mood immediately improved. Thus, he used his last Tiger Talisman. He was already completely calm. He’d take whatever he got; at the very least, it would be something from his hometown.

Suddenly, his expression changed. He established a connection with a speck of light. However, unlike before, the speck of light began to synchronize with his soul, but also seemed to reject him quite strongly, as if it were unwilling to be summoned by him.

Zu An was immediately interested. He carefully pulled it closer, eventually successfully summoning the speck of light.

A streak of light flashed before his eyes, and a tall and slender figure appeared in front of him. She was dressed in leather armor that exposed her slim waist. She had tanned skin and toned abs that clearly conveyed her core’s explosive power. There was a short leather skirt around her waist. Her thighs were full and well proportioned, and her calves were straight. Unlike the pencil legs of most internet celebrities, her legs gave off an unruly air.

She had such a dynamite body, and yet she didn’t look like a muscular freak. On the contrary, her face was extremely beautiful. In terms of appearance, she actually wasn’t inferior to Daji at all!

She had a spear in hand, and her figure was valiant and formidable.

Congratulations on summoning a valkyrie: Leader of the Four Nation-Destroying Beauties—Mo Xi![2]

1. In Chinese mythology and folklore, ‘Fēng’ (封, lit. "mound; hump") is an edible monster that resembles a two-eyed lump of meat and magically regrows as quickly as it is eaten. Early Chinese texts also referred to this legendary food with the names ‘Shìròu’ (視肉, "looks like meat"), ‘Ròuzhī’ (肉芝, "meat excrescence"), and Tàisuì (太歲, "great year; Jupiter"). ‘Ròulíngzhī’ (肉靈芝, "meat Lingzhi mushroom") is a modern name popularized by Chinese news media reporting on purported discoveries of the ‘Fēng’ throughout China, including a widely publicized Xi'an television reporter who misidentified a sex toy as a roulingzhi monster. ☜

2. According to ‘The Biographies of Exemplary Women’, Mo Xi was the concubine of Jie of Xia. She was beautiful, but lacked virtue, being depraved and immoral. Even though her actions were those of a woman, she had the heart of a man. She wore a sword on her belt and a (man’s) cap. Jie drank day and night with Mo Xi and his palace ladies. He would place Mo Xi on his knees and listen to whatever came from her mouth. King Jie of Xia also made a lake of wine large enough to transport boats. With a drumbeat, three thousand men drank from it, lowering their faces to it like cattle. When they became drunk, they fell in and drowned. Mo Xi found this entertaining and laughed at them. Later, Jie summoned Cheng Tang, the first king of the Shang Dynasty, and imprisoned him at Xiatai, but afterward released him. When the vassal lords rebelled, Tang attacked Jie and defeated him at Xia County. Tang banished Jie, who was set adrift out to sea on a boat along with Mo Xi and his favorite concubines. He died at Nanchao Mountain. ☜

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