Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 72: What Did You Do to Me?

Translator: Pika

Snow felt like she was being driven crazy. She must have sinned deeply in her previous life for her to have to encounter such a fellow. “Not only will I kill you today, I’ll sever your tongue and feed it to the dogs!”

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 500 Rage points!

Zu An was still thinking of the right response to squeeze more Rage points out of her, but Snow gave him no chance. She darted forward for a second attack.

She’s fast!

Realizing that he would be unable to dodge in time, Zu An channeled every last bit of strength in his body to protect himself. Her palm crashed into his raised fist. Zu An jerked as though slammed head-on by an onrushing truck and was sent flying, smashing into the wall behind him. His hands felt like they were moments from shattering, such was the sheer force of the impact.

He tried to rise back to his feet quickly, but the pain was too severe. He vomited out a puddle of blood.

How could such thin arms and legs wield so much strength?

Snow was equally surprised by their exchange. She stared at the red imprint on her own palm as she recalled the strength he had used to meet her strike. She remarked in astonishment, “Hm? You’ve actually reached the third rank!”

Zu An felt as though his innards had been wrecked, but he forced out a calm smile and said, “Did you just realize that on top of my good looks, I’m also an incredible cultivation prodigy? Did that make you fall deeply in love with me?”

“Fall deeply in love? Don’t bullshit me!”

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 211 Rage points!

Her face darkened further, and she rushed forward to plant a vicious kick squarely in Zu An’s abdomen. He was sent tumbling backwards, making a few revolutions before finally coming to a halt.

“Zu wastrel, you have really managed to stoke my ire today. I won’t let you get off the hook easily today. I’ll make sure that you suffer so much that you’d wish you were dead!”

This lass sure knows how to bear a grudge. Zu An silently took out the Heiress’ Ball of Delights and prepared to activate it, but froze as he belatedly realized a problem.

Right now, he had a debt note worth a hulking seven-and-a-half million silver taels on him. That meant there were only a handful of people who were richer than him in Brightmoon City. Even if the seven-and-a-half million silver taels wasn’t something he could cash out in the short-run, he still had a-hundred-and-fifty thousand silver taels on hand right now.

There was a strict condition to the Heiress’ Ball of Delights—the enemy had to be a woman richer than him in order for its effects to be invoked.

Surely a maid like Snow can’t possibly be richer than me, right?

The only reason why Zu An had been able to keep calm all this while was due to this trump card he had on hand. Using the combination of the Heiress’ Ball of Delights and the Phoenix Nirvana Sutra, he had managed to stand his ground even against a fifth rank cultivator. No matter how powerful Snow was, he was sure she couldn’t be more formidable than the renowned prodigy Pei Mianman.

He never imagined that his newfound wealth would be the reason behind his own downfall. In the blink of an eye, he found himself in a precarious situation.

Unwilling to give up on this possibility, Zu An asked out loud, “Hey, can I ask you a question? How much money do you have?”

Snow was stunned. Of all the possibilities she’d come up with, she hadn’t expected Zu An to ask such an irrelevant question. “That’s none of your business. All you need to know is that I’ll be very rich once I kill you.”

Her response drew a deep sigh from Zu An. It seemed that using the Heiress’ Ball of Delights was out of the question. The item was his strongest trump card, and he couldn’t bear to waste it if the situation wasn’t clear-cut.

Zu An’s mind whirred to action as he tried to think of a way out. “Why do you want to kill me?” He hoped to extract some information while she was still in a mood to gloat.

“Despicable and shameless scum like you do not deserve to live on the face of this world!” Snow spat out angrily.

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 99 Rage points!

Zu An was stunned. He didn’t think that Snow’s grudge toward him ran this deep. Is it really possible to hate someone as handsome as me so thoroughly?

“Are you trying to stall for time? Don’t even dream about it!” Snow leaped into the offensive once more. She decided to target Zu An’s limbs this time, intending to rip them off.

Unexpectedly, Zu An managed to avoid her initial attack with a quick backflip, after which, they traded a few blows. Despite Zu An spurting out blood each time her strikes connected, he somehow seemed to get faster and stronger the more severe his injuries became. In fact, Zu An was almost approaching her level of strength.

Zu An knew that this was the effect of the Phoenix Nirvana Sutra. He would be able to exert an extraordinary amount of force when he was severely injured, but without the Heiress’ Ball of Delights to keep him alive, he had no idea when he would exceed his limit and drop dead. He prepared to summon and use Faith in Brother Spring as soon as he sensed he was approaching his limit.

“Did you learn some sort of secret art?” asked Snow.

There were techniques that significantly boosted a cultivator’s strength for a short period of time, but they tended to come with overwhelmingly negative side effects.

“If you call me ‘big brother’, I’ll consider letting you in on the secret,” said Zu An with a chuckle.

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 111 Rage points!

“You’re courting your own death!”

A silver needle suddenly appeared in Snow’s hand, and in an instant, Zu An saw a barrage of needles flying in his direction.

What the hell! A hidden weapon?

Zu An tried desperately to dodge the needles, but he still ended up getting pierced by quite a number of them. Fresh blood streamed out of his wounds, and he lost his grip on the dagger in his hand. It fell to the ground with a loud clang.

“You have strength, but you know nothing of combat skills. You’re just a fat pig waiting to be slaughtered!” Snow sneered coldly.

Zu An stayed silent. Was that barrage of needles considered a combat skill? I haven’t learned anything of that sort yet, but if I could learn such skills, I might be able to exert far greater power for the same level of physical strength.

“A piece of trash will forever remain trash. I’ve no idea how you managed to cultivate, but it all ends here.” A cold sneer rested on Snow’s lips. “Any last words?”

Zu An spat out a mouthful of bloody saliva and chuckled. “You stabbed me with your needles today. I’ll make sure to return the favor and stab you hard one day.”

“It’s not like you can use needles...” The smile on Snow’s face suddenly vanished as the innuendo finally sunk in. She trailed off, her face cold as winter. “I really don’t know whether I should be impressed with you or not. Even with your dying breath, you still want to take advantage of me.”

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 404 Rage points!

Zu An wiped his lips, leaving a bloody trail across his cheek. He looked at her in a bizarre way. “How do you know I’ll die?”

“Do you have any other trump cards then? Take them out and impress me then!” scoffed Snow.

“I’m just afraid that you won’t be able to bear it.” Zu An had hardly any strength left in his body. He had to lean against the wall just to maintain his posture. “Have you ever been pregnant before?”

Snow’s eyes popped, first in bewilderment and then in unrestrained fury. “What nonsense are you spouting?”

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 303 Rage points!

How dare a man ask a maiden like her whether she had been pregnant before? Snow resolved to tear out Zu An’s tendons one by one to satisfy her anger.

A sinister smile had crawled onto Zu An’s lips. “I can make you pregnant.”

Snow had grown numb to Zu An’s taunts. She didn’t bother with getting angry. After all, it would be wasted on someone who was going to die very soon.

She walked right up to him and gazed upon him from above. “Hand over the promissory note, and maybe I’ll...”

She trailed off before she could finish, and subconsciously touched her abdomen. What’s going on? Why does my stomach suddenly feel so bloated?

She glanced quickly at her abdomen, but it was still completely flat. Without warning, her body suddenly arched backward as an aching pain spread out from her lower back.

“What did you do to me?”

Snow began to panic. She had never experienced these sensations before, and whatever was happening to her transcended the realms of her understanding.

Zu An laughed lightly. “Didn’t I tell you that I could make you pregnant? Did you take my words to be a joke?”

It was indeed impossible for him to turn the tables with his own strength, and he had to resort to using the Knock-You-Up Eyes. To his astonishment, however, the item didn’t produce intense labor pains right away. Instead, it seemed to induce the sensations of pregnancy first. This subtle difference could spell a huge difference in a pitched battle, and he would have to take careful note in the future.

There was no way Snow would believe that she was truly pregnant. In a moment of rage, she resolved to end Zu An’s life there and then, but she was stabbed by a sudden, excruciating pain in her abdomen.

“Ahhh~”

She tried her best to stifle her cries, but the pain had grown truly unbearable. She collapsed into a squat, and felt the urge to curl up into a ball and roll around. She clutched at her abdomen, her face pale and sweaty.

Zu An immediately took advantage of this opening to leap on her. He was in bad shape after their previous exchanges, and he dared not give her a chance to make a comeback. He wanted to force her down onto the ground and into a close-quarters brawl, where he was more confident of defeating her.

Shocked, Snow hurriedly raised her hand to push him away, but she was engulfed in yet another wave of excruciating pain which caused her arms to jerk to a halt. She was slammed to the ground, and the weight of her attacker fell fully on her.

Snow panicked as she found herself pinned under Zu An’s body. She tried to retaliate by striking at his head, but the constant, stabbing pain in her abdomen made it impossible to exert her strength properly.

As soon as she raised her hand, Zu An had already pinned her wrist back down onto the ground. She struggled against his grip, but for some reason, Zu An’s strength seemed well on par with hers, and she wasn’t in the condition to exert the full extent of her prowess. The awkward position she was in made it hard for her to maneuver, further complicating her attempts at defense.

In the end, her struggling did nothing but give Zu An more chances to take advantage of her body.

Zu An had to admit that, despite Snow’s ferocious temper, she did have a good figure. It wasn’t as exaggerated as Pei Mianman’s, but her slim and soft body felt refreshingly youthful.

Somehow, he couldn’t bear to kill her quickly.

Snow’s cheeks flushed red. “What did you do to me?” she demanded. She realized that her struggles did nothing but give Zu An pleasure, so she stopped moving altogether.

“As I’ve told you, I’m giving you a taste of what pregnancy feels like. Why don’t you believe me?” Looking at how Snow had been fully incapacitated by the sheer pain, Zu An wondered how a man would react in response to it.

“You shameless lout!” Snow’s anger was shot through with humiliation. Unaware of the existence of the Knock-You-Up Eyes, she thought that Zu An was mocking her yet again. After all, she only knew of one way to get pregnant in this world.

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 798 Rage points!

“So, it’s alright for you to kill me, but I’m shameless for trying to retaliate?” Zu An sneered coldly. “Who’s the one who sent you here? Speak!”

Snow turned her face to the side. She tried to silently gather her ki and turn the tables with a single blow, but whatever ki she could gather would dissipate with each new wave of labor pains.

What’s going on? This pain keeps coming back, and it’s even growing stronger!

As a young maiden herself, there was no way for Snow to know that this was a unique sensation experienced by mothers in childbirth.

“You refuse to speak? I guess I’ll tear off your clothes and parade you in front of everyone in Brightmoon City then!” said Zu An.

“How dare you!”

You have successfully trolled Qiao Xueying for 444 Rage points!

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