"My relationship with Victor was very good, we were close and like brothers. We talked to each other a lot we always spend entire days together only enjoy each other's company." John said, as with his mind he remembered all the cheerful memories they spent together and he felt melancholy to know how things turned different.
Roselyn listened to him without saying a word, gazing at him empathically, she felt like in some odd way she shared a similar history with Sharon as they always were on good terms until John arrived.
"Until I turned into a vampire and I took many lives, I was thirsty out of control, and uncaring. When you give such huge powers to someone who is unfearing to use them it's like giving a gun to a serial killer. You know only chaos and terror will follow." John signed, his eyes trembled in until as if his unconscious gestures masked his efforts to pretend he moved on and he was emotionless.
"I killed many people, I was mad at the entire world for different reasons and when my family saw me as a monster I became that person. Every insult was like fuel to my inner fire until one of the first victims I took was the first love of Victor." John said, his voice broke and he had to clear his voice before continuing his speech.
"When he found out, he was inflamed with fury and he turned as a vampire only to try to kill me. That's when the hate started. My father always took my side and defended my behavior blinded by love, that's why I am so devoted to him. Because despite he had a son everyone would ignore or regret he always tried to make me find my good side again. He accepted me for who I was, he loved me despite my flaws." John's eyes filled with tears and Roselyn wondered if he was emotional or sorry for the crimes he committed.
"Why were you so mad with the entire world?" Roselyn asked, regretting one second after having asked such a thing since he looked at her in all his fragility, and all of a sudden he was like he seemed so little and vulnerable.
"Because I felt like I didn't belong to the world, I saw my father very happy about me growing up and looking forward to fitting me in a place I didn't want to stay. It was like I had a path already draw and I couldn't do anything but follow it. All my relatives were envying me and envy only provokes hate, I was hated and put under pressure for something I never wanted or asked for." John confessed. "Many people probably think I am ungrateful not to understand how l I am to have such big powers and have a good amount of gold to buy the entire nation."
He shrugged taking another bite of his meal, chewing for some seconds, and recomposing himself.
"But I didn't feel designed for such a role and every day I spent I thought I was a disappointment for my father who had so many hopes and I always feel a pariah."
"I am sorry," Roselyn said, and she was. She could understand how he felt and now she fully also realized why he felt so desperate to come to the solution to form an agreement. Their both lives were stuck in the same routine for years until on the first occasion they got they took advantage to finally rebel and find an escapement, maybe extreme but helpful.
"I build an armor. That kind of rejection and hate I got from relatives helped me to become
the person I am today, maybe ruthless yes but at least I don't allow people to hurt me and never will." John finished his long explanation and Roselyn could do nothing but offer him a smile.
"and now you are where you always wanted to be?" Roselyn asked. "you ended up being the future King and if we will ever have a successor the destine you wanted to flee from will be crossed."
John shook his head, "in front of the priest I made a promise, and I won't change that. I want a future for us and I want you happy. If a son will make you happy then I couldn't be more glad to bring your dream to life." He said and Roselyn felt the need to hug him, as she smiled widely at him.
Roselyn thought about her life a few months ago, it was simply in a whole different universe, even if she wasn't happy how her life was then she just now realized how it was so much easier back then.
Having minimal problems that back then seemed so huge, using her fantasy and desires to drive her out of her apathy and her discontent, dreaming of normal life just to motive herself to survive the emptiness of her days.
It seemed like her life turned into the opposite turn as her life was completely different than what she considered normal or what she wished back then.
She wondered if she fulfilled her dream and now was with a gentleman she didn't like only to follow an inch of freedom.
A sudden thought then made Roselyn shiver and unconsciously scolding herself internally as soon as she realized that what she truly wanted was never a simple life or if it was now she would never give her turbulent complicated life back.
John went to write a letter and Roselyn peeked through his paper to see that he was writing to women to invite them for an interview. Roselyn glanced at the paper perplexed, "why are you using colloquial informal language to write the letters?" she asked.
John finished writing the letter and then gazed at Roselyn, he licked the envelope right to left gazing at her and Roselyn felt a shiver running through her smile and she shyly flinched her gaze as her mind unconsciously took different turns when some memories inebriated her vision.
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