Axel spent the next almost two hours telling Corrine of his history with Alice.
He told her about how they had met at his first visit to the Blood Moon and about the Bitter Night that was used on him, though he did keep Holden's name to himself.
He told her about the boy that waited for him and the ‘game' they had played. And how Alice, little eight-year-old Alice, had been the one to save him that day. Leading the monster away to chase after and attack her instead.
He told her about how Alice had been given many roles to play, many missions to carry out, almost none of which she remembered. But also about the way that Alice had shaken and cried in her sleep, and how he wondered if some part of her did actually remember.
Axel shared with Corrine the truth about Renee, and about the guilt that Alice carried knowing that she had helped Granger to commit the crime. How angry she had been when she understood that her handler had purposefully given Granger dosing instructions that could have killed Ashleigh.
And how that reaction had been the beginning of her new treatment schedule.
Corrine needed a break, stepping outside to let the cool Winter air settle over her as she processed all the information he was giving her. All the events that had happened in or around her life without her knowledge.
Corrine was finding it difficult to hold onto her anger, to keep thinking of Alice as this monster that had hurt her baby girl. But Axel still hadn't explained what had happened that day, and how Alice had gotten involved with Granger after he revealed himself as the monster he was to the rest of them.
After she returned, Corrine sat down and braced herself for the rest of the story. She had kept her comments and questions to herself, wanting to know all of the facts first..
Axel continued to reveal even more surprises.
Corrine had wondered for a long time how Caleb had come to be there the day that the fae creatures had attacked. Now she knew, it was because Alice had heard only a few words of a phone call. Words that she realized were about an attack on Winter.
“Why didn't she reach out to someone in Winter?” Corrine asked.
“Who?” Axel said. “At that time, she didn't really know any of us. H–Her handler, had made sure to keep her from Winter as long as he could. Only sending her here when had no other choice.”
“But why reach out to Caleb?”
“Because she didn't know any details about the attack, and she had moments to make any kind of decision,” Axel said. “She knew that if there was even a hint of a threat to Ashleigh's safety, Caleb would be the one who would move mountains to figure it out.”
Corrine nodded. It did make sense.
“So… when she receives treatment,” Corrine began. “She forgets everything? Not just one or two events of details?”
“From what I understand, she remembers basic information about herself and her handler. But then there are phrases he uses; they sort of unlock parts of her. Usually skillsets. Sometimes whole sections of her personality or memory.”
Corrine nodded, and then looked carefully at Axel.
“And how can you be sure that that isn't exactly what happened with you? That she wasn't programmed to make you believe that she was being honest when she told you everything.”
Axel sighed and looked away.
“Because, when she came to me, Granger had already broken her mind.”
Axel told Corrine everything about what really happened before Ashleigh was taken. How Granger had come to the lab, used the phrase to make her submit, fought with her, and then ultimately controlled her to follow his orders.
How Alice had tried using the loophole, avoiding being seen, but Ashleigh had seen her at the last minute. And how Alice had tried to warn her back over the line, but Ashleigh had no reason to listen to her and Granger had already taken the shot.
Axel told her how they had fought and how close Alice had come to killing Granger, but was instead incapacitated by yet another phrase, one that released everything at once and sent her into a sort of madness that should have killed her.
“Why didn't it?” Corrine asked.
“Because she found something to hold on to, to keep from drowning,” Axel whispered. “Me.”
Corrine could see the toll this conversation was taking on Axel, having to recount the horrible details of Alice's past. He truly loved her.
“In the flood of memories, she saw me, and she desperately tried to find me,” he said. “For two days she wandered half-mad until she found a faint scent, but it was enough to keep her going until the night we found each other.”
Axel told her about their time together. About the feeling of fulfillment and comfort of being near her.
“I chose to mark her because I wanted to,” he said. “But also, because I was afraid she would disappear again.”
Corrine's heart ached for her son.
“I needed to know that there was a connection between us, that no one could take away. Even if they suppress it, it's still there.”
Axel hung his head; he had been holding so tightly to his strength throughout the conversation. He had kept himself focused on just sharing the facts. But his heart couldn't take it anymore.
He sobbed.
Corrine got up and put her arms around him.
“Sshh… it's ok…” Corrine whispered softly as she stroked his back. “It's ok.”
“I might never see her again…” Axel whispered between sobs as he wrapped his arms around his mother's waist and let loose the tears he had held back for so long. “I don't know where she is… if she's ok…”
Corrine continued to try to soothe him.
“She took another treatment,” he whispered painfully.
Corrine closed her eyes and felt the sorrow in her chest.
“She's forgotten me again…” he said. “What if she never remembers me…”
“It's going to be ok, honey,” Corrine said, kissing the top of his head and sniffling. “We'll get her back.”
Axel took a shuddered breath and felt his heart still for a moment. Then, he slowly pulled back and looked up at his mother. Tears were running down her cheeks, and deep sorrow in her eyes. But she smiled at him and cupped his cheek.
“We'll get her back?” he whispered the question as though it were the only answer he would ever need.
Corrine pursed her lips together and sniffled, before smiling again.
“She's family,” she said. “We protect what is ours.”
Axel felt a weight that he had been carrying suddenly lift from his shoulders and he lowered his head to sob once more. The grief, the sorrow, and even the relief washed over him and he did nothing to hold it back.
Corrine held her son and let him cry.
She wasn't convinced that Alice was the best Luna for Winter, or that she ever could be. But she was convinced that Axel had changed since he had made his bond with her. Whatever else she had been or currently was, she had inspired in him greatness.
All Corrine had ever wanted for her children was happiness and love like she had known with Wyatt. And it seemed each of them had already found it.
The Goddess saw fit to place obstacles in their paths, but Corrine knew her children were strong enough to face them head-on. And so long as they were happy, she would support them the whole way through.
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