Ashleigh had returned to the sparring grounds after visiting with Bell.
Caleb was leaving to head to the southern border and start the defenses immediately. He asked her to come along, but she chose to stay behind.
She needed time on her own to think. To figure out the situation with her brother.
The more she thought about it, the less it made sense.
Alice was an unknown at this point.
She had done bad things, but supposedly she didn't have a choice. Unless that was a lie, but so many people seemed to have already confirmed it.
Why was everyone Ashleigh trusted so willing to give Alice a chance, but Ashleigh was so against it?
‘They have been fooled.'
Alice hacked Summer. She had left a worm that continued to steal and destroy information. But then, she had also left behind a system restore that gave them back everything they lost and even heightened their defenses.
Alice had poisoned Axel with a candy bar. Except, according to Bell, it wasn't Alice, and she was the one that warned him and kept him from eating more of it.
‘Tricked.'
Alice had partnered with Granger to kidnap and torture Ashleigh. Except Ashleigh was the one that chose to follow Alice, and Alice did tell her to go back. So if she was honest, it did seem like Alice was trying to warn her just as she was shot..
And after that initial chase out of Summer, Ashleigh never saw Alice during the week Granger held her.
Supposedly, Alice had traded herself to find the location where Granger had taken her. And before that, she had almost been killed by him.
‘Lied to.'
Ashleigh took a deep breath and crouched down to hug her knees.
She didn't know what to think.
Everything Axel and Bell had told her was so different from her own thoughts.
Alice did terrible things, and so she must be wrong. Right? Ashleigh sighed.
‘She must be stopped.'
Ashleigh shook her head, clearing away her thoughts. Sparring wasn't going to help right now.
She went into the woods. A walk through the rocks and trees she had grown up around was sure to clear her head and help her process her own thoughts.
Her walk took her to many places. She went to the creek where she and Renee had played instead of training in their early classes together.
She saw the tree that Bell had carved her name into, saying that this way, she would never be forgotten.
Ashleigh had no idea back then what that had meant to Bell. Now that she did, it was heartbreaking and wonderful to see the marking still there.
Though now there was another beside it. Ashleigh smiled at seeing Galen's name and knowing that Bell had shared this with him. Shared the pain of her reasoning.
Ashleigh swallowed.
She and Caleb had been drifting apart lately.
They were still very much in love, and they both wanted to protect each other from anything that could hurt them.
But that was the source of their problems.
They had promised to be honest, to not keep secrets anymore. And yet they both did just that. To protect each other. Why was it so hard to just be honest?
She sighed as she continued her walk.
Ashleigh found herself walking down a familiar path with a smile as she thought of the night under the full moon with her father and brother beside her.
“Great mother, Lily, I beg you to hear my prayer,” a strong voice spoke softly from within Lily's Rest.
Ashleigh recognized it immediately and moved back. Not away, just back.
“I know that you are not the Goddess or a deity, but you are the one we look to for guidance and support in the bonds we build. Every marriage in Winter is blessed in this sacred space because of you.
“I am here to ask for your help, for your understanding. I found my mate as a child, but she was taken from me. Even her memory was erased from my mind.”
Ashleigh chewed her lower lip as she listened to Axel's prayer, hearing the ache in his voice and the earnest way he spoke to someone he didn't even believe was there.
‘…he always seemed even more lonely and broken than I was.'
Bell's words came to mind.
If Bell was able to share her concerns and her heartache with Axel because he seemed worse off than she did, who did Axel share with?
“Alice has led a life of hardship and anguish. She has been kept inside a dark hole, only glimpsing the light occasionally. Her body has been used; her voice silenced.”
Axel paused, and Ashleigh heard the sounds of his sobs.
She covered her mouth to keep from making a sound, but her heart ached for her brother.
“I have met the real woman that lives inside of her. The one that no one else has ever seen,” he whispered. “My Alice is unlike anyone else in this world. Her life has been filled with lies and deceptions. She has been used, abused, and forced to do things that haunt her dreams. And still, she has a heart filled with compassion and honesty.”
How could he know that? How could he know her so well? They couldn't have had that much time together, so how could he be so sure about her?
‘Talk to your brother,' Lily's voice came through clearer than it had in a long time. ‘Listen to him, hear what he has to say.'
Ashleigh sighed. Forgetting for just a moment that she was doing her best to keep silent.
“Who's out there?” Axel's voice came out strong and forceful. Unhappy with the idea that he had been caught in a vulnerable moment.
Ashleigh took a deep breath and then passed through the archway of Lily's Rest.
“It's…. me,” she said, keeping her head down.
“Oh… what are you doing here?” Axel asked awkwardly.
‘Yes, I heard every word, and yes, I feel awkward too,' she thought to herself.
“I was on a walk, trying to clear my head,” she replied.
“Me too,” he said. “I felt drawn here.”
Ashleigh nodded, also having felt the pull to come here. She now suspected that ‘great mother Lily' had something to do with it.
The siblings looked everywhere they could except at each other.
Axel cleared his throat.
“Well, I won't disturb you,” he said, moving to walk past her.
Ashleigh sighed.
“Axel….” She said before he had a chance to leave, “I think… we need to talk.”
“Ash… I really… I can't argue with you today,” Axel sighed.
Ashleigh looked up into his eyes, and she saw the redness, the puffy eyelids, and the dark circles.
It was strange.
As much as he had hidden himself away throughout her life. Behind his hair, or humor, or the general big brother attitude. She had never seen him worn down, vulnerable, hurting.
Until now.
“I don't want to argue either,” she said. “I want to talk, I want… to listen.”
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