In the days after the pyre, Axel noticed a change in many people around him.
While softer and more reserved than usual, Corrine was smiling and laughing with the others as they prepared the feast. She was already sharing stories about Wyatt that he had never heard before.
Ashleigh had been a mess for the days that led to the pyre, unable to control her grief, lost in tears and sorrow. It was understandable. She had lost her father.
Yet, now he watched her standing confidently as she directed others this way and that. Giving orders on the placement of tables and chairs. She was focused and in control. Something he hadn’t seen in her for a long time, much longer than the loss of their father.
It was good to see but left him feeling a bit confused.
Part of the reason for the way they honored the loss of an alpha was to help process the grief. To help the pack heal from the pain of their wound. All around him, Axel could see it happening. Every person he met worked through it and found the strength to move forward. To smile.
It seemed that only he was left feeling adrift and listless.
He headed to his office, feeling the need to be alone for a while, but he saw that the door was slightly ajar.
Axel approached with caution. He reached for the door and slowly pushed it open. There was a small squeak of protest as the door moved into the room, and Axel could see inside.
“Alice?” he called out in surprise as he saw his mate sitting on the couch with a bright smile.
“Hi, Sweet Boy,” she replied, standing from the sofa.
“What are you doing here?” he asked with concern, closing the door and hurrying over to her. “You’re still supposed to be in the hospital. Peter said it would be a few more days to make sure the wound is healing properly.”
Axel reached for her shirt, trying to check the wound and ensuring she hadn’t pulled the stitches. But she stopped him.
Alice put her hands on both sides of his face and turned him to look her in the eyes.
He took a deep breath as he stared into the chocolate brown with golden speckles, his heart calming and his body relaxing at her presence.
Axel sighed.
“Alice…” he whispered. “You can’t run away from the hospital… please, I just need to know you are ok.”
Alice smiled sweetly.
“Same,” she whispered.
Axel took a deep breath and smiled. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers.
“Alice…” he sighed.
She let out a soft giggle and pulled away. She nudged him to sit on the sofa, which he did, and then she sat in his lap, nuzzling his throat.
“I’m ok,” she began. “Yes, I am not one hundred percent, and yea, I need to go back and stay a couple more days. But Dr. Petey is fully aware of my little adventure today. He doesn’t like it and has already threatened me with needles and poking and prodding on my return.”
Axel chuckled.
“You know he hates that you call him Petey.”
“Yup, just one reason I won’t stop,” she smiled brightly as she sat up and looked down at him.
Axel reached his hand up and cupped her cheek.
He felt better when she was near him. Just her presence alone could calm his heart and help him breathe easier. But he was still worried about her.
“Why did you come?” he asked. “You know I miss you, but I don’t want you to put yourself at risk like this. It’s just a few more days.”
“I know,” she said. “But I told Petey from the beginning I needed to see you today.”
“Why?” he asked.
Alice looked away and chewed on her lower lip as she gathered her nerves.
“I’m keeping a promise,” she said softly.
“What promise?” he asked.
Noticing how she seemed to hesitate, he put his hand on her thigh. A calming touch let her know she was all right with him.
Alice lifted her eyes to his.
“A promise I made to your dad on the drive.”
Axel swallowed, his heart pumped a little harder, and his throat tightened.
“What did he want you to do?” he asked. Licking his lips nervously.
“He wanted me to tell you something,” she said. “He knew today was going to be difficult for you.”
“Today?” he asked.
“The remembrance feast,” she said. “He told me that you would have a hard time feeling the happiness of the day.”
Axel scoffed gently and looked away.
It seemed that Wyatt hadn’t forgotten how young Axel had felt at his grandfather’s remembrance.
Axel swallowed and looked back at Alice. He reached up and ran his thumb along her jaw tenderly.
“What did he want you to tell me?” he whispered.
“He wanted you to know,” she said, leaning forward toward him. “That you deserve to be happy, that we both do.”
Axel smiled.
“He said you have a big heart and bigger shoulders,” she smiled.
“Bigger shoulders?” Axel laughed.
“Yes,” she said. “To carry the weight of the world.”
“Ah…” Axel smiled gently, lowering his eyes.
“Wyatt trusted you,” she continued. “And he believed in you.”
“Did he?” Axel replied softly, unconvinced.
“Yes,” she said. “He was proud of the Alpha you have become, of the man you’ve become.”
Axel closed his eyes, pushing back the flood of emotion that threatened to overtake him.
“His biggest disappointment was making you think he didn’t believe in you,” Alice said. “He said that you might not even believe what I’m telling you now because of his mistakes.”
Axel’s jaw shook as he listened to her words. He took in a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes tight.
Alice put her hands on his face, and she lifted his chin.
“Look at me,” she whispered.
Axel opened his eyes. They glistened with the tears he held to.
“Your father, like all fathers, made mistakes,” she whispered. “He was a good man, with a good heart, who was really bad at sharing his emotions with the people he loved.”
Axel sniffled as the tears loosened themselves from his grip. He clenched his jaw as he listened to her.
“You and Ashleigh, and Bell, and your mom, were his everything,” Alice continued, “Every last second that he had in this life was spent loving you all. And as he knew that his time was almost up, he
wanted to make sure that you understood how proud of you he was.”
Axel let out a sob, and then another, and another.
Alice took a shaky breath and let go of Axel’s face, wrapping her arms around him instead.
“My shoulders aren’t big enough to support the world,” she whispered into his ear as she held him close. “But they’re big enough to support you.”
Axel wrapped his arms around her waist, sobbing into her shoulder. He allowed himself the sadness and anger of his loss and the relief of knowing his father was proud of him.
When Alice returned to the hospital, Peter was angry to see that she had, in fact, popped her stitches. He griped and groaned the entire time he stitched her back up.
“You’re lucky the wound itself didn’t tear open again!” Peter grumbled. “I hope it was worth it.”
“It was,” she smiled softly.
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