****
Han Zihao huffed in exasperation as he watched the girl falling into the realms of dreams after pulling him into a kiss. She was dead drunk and after teasing him with a kiss, she fell asleep on his couch.
She was sleeping with no worries as if it's her house. How can she be so careless and sleep in a man's house? She is testing his limits now.
Remembering how she drank with the director and the staff after filming the debut single of The Knights to the point of not even remembering her house's password, he couldn't help but worry. What would have happened if he hadn't reached on time and Lin Hui had taken her to his place? Would she have acted the same way too?
He gritted his teeth and muttered under his breath, " Xu Nuan, you better not drink alcohol next time. Otherwise, no food for you next time." before leaning down to pick her up and take her to his room.
He would have taken her to her house but she was too drunk to tell him her password. With no choice, he brought her to his place.
"Chi...Chi…#%^*" When he leaned in to pick her, she stirred in her sleep and was muttering rubbish in her drunken state.
" You don't want to vomit, do you? Don't you dare to ruin my carpet?" He warned her, but she couldn't care less.
She opened her eyes lazily, looking at her with a grin. In her half-conscious state, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer, " Chi...Chin Chin's Papa. Where is my baby? He must be hungry. You should cook for him." she hiccuped and closed her eyes, leaving him stunned.
"...."
Upon hearing her words, Han Zihao, who was about to carry her, froze in his actions. Did he hear something wrong?
Chi...Chin Chin's Papa?
He stared at her crimson face and tried to process her words. This name....when he was young, Jiang Yue used to call him by this name when they played with her teddy bear which she used to call Chin Chin.
He used to pose as the dad and she was the mom and played as a happy family.
It was not just a mere nickname, it was part of his memories with Jiang Yue, his first love.
However, hearing the same name from this girl, who invaded his life out of nowhere and was adamant to shake his emotions made him wonder about several things. The things he was once suspicious about but shake it off because it was not realistic, everything seems like a puzzle now.
But...how does she know this name? Why did she call him by this name? Since she is drunk, it can't be a lie and it was far away to be called drunken talk.
Pursing his thin lips, he stared at the sleeping girl and sighed while dealing with his complicated emotions, " Xu Nuan, who are you exactly?"
****
Present.
Han Zihao stared at the girl who was standing by his side, watching her own grave with solemn expressions. The young girl who used to laugh and hop around everywhere while holding her teddy bear, infecting everyone with her contagious laugh was standing next to him, smiling bitterly.
It was a smile full of sadness and pain.
He sighed and tried to convince her to leave from here as he couldn't see her looking like this, " Xu Nuan, we should go from here. This is not the place-
" It's so colorful," Interrupting him, she finally spoke.
She was holding a small cactus plant in her hands as she stared at her grave, which was now covered with dry and withered flower bouquets, the fan letters had covered the mound to the extent that even her name was barely visible.
It was a strange feeling to watch her own grave. The memories she has left behind, the people she was trying to ignore, everything was coming to her like a movie.
Am I the first person to witness their own grave, alive? She wondered, thinking if there are other people too who have gotten the chance to live again, or is she the only one?
At first, she was nervous and afraid of how she was going to deal with her emotions but after coming here, the emotional turbulence inside her seems to have gone numb. It was calm and tranquil.
She took a deep breath and turned to Han Zihao who was staring at her worriedly. " Mr. Han, do you know why I brought you here?"
Upon hearing her calm voice, his heart tightened. He didn't say anything and just stared at her, trying to read her thoughts.
" Mr. Han, I might seem like a flirt and treat everything like a joke, but I don't treat others' feelings as a joke. For me, in a relationship, trust and honesty are more important than anything. Because we can love again, but trust is like a broken glass that can be fixed with glue but it will not be the same as before. There will be dents to remind the wounds of the broken heart."
" That's why before getting into a relationship, I wanted to be honest and show my real self to you. I always followed the path of honesty you know. Even if it's a hard and bitter truth, I will still prefer it over a fake-consoling lie. Because facing the truth makes the person strong."
" However, it was my first time running away from a situation rather than facing it boldly and it's embarrassing, to be honest." she chuckled, feeling embarrassed at how she avoided him all those time after his confession.
He watched her going through multiple emotions as she stood in front of her, exposing her feelings to him.
"So...what is your true self?" He asked in a composed manner, making her stare at him in silence.
After a moment, she took a sharp breath and breathed out before saying, " This is my true self, here." she stretched her hand, pointing towards her grave at the side.
" This is the real me. Jiang Yue."
She was expecting him to waver or show some reaction but pursed her lips to see his indifferent and composed reaction. Did he not get what I meant? Ah, wait...how stupid of me. How can he get what I mean? It's not a daily occurrence to be reborn after all.
She scolded herself for using vague words inwardly and tried again, " I mean….I am not Xu Nuan. Although I am in this body, it's still not me." she frowned as she got confused at her explanation herself.
What kind of stupid drama plot is this? She swallowed her pride and smiled awkwardly before continuing.
" I am not joking. I am Jiang Yue. I died in an accident while shooting the MV but miraculously woke up in this girl's body. Do you remember the day when you visited me at the hospital to compensate me for the accident? That was the day I woke up as Xu Nuan." she explained looking at him expectantly.
She wanted him to believe her words but from her lousy explanation, she sounded like a con artist herself. How can she expect him to believe her?
It was clear from the amused expressions that he wasn't buying her story. She will not believe it either.
However, this time she has prepared herself well. She was about to count all the things she remembered from their childhood when she heard him say, " I know."
"....."
" I know it sounds ridiculous but it's true. Sometimes I also feel that everything is a dream and it's all….Wait...what?"
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