"I didn't mean to blame you for not being a responsible father. All I ever wanted was for Justin to be happy. I gave you three months to be with Justin, because I wanted our kid to feel that his longed-for fatherly love was as warm as he had imagined. He had never showed me how much he yearned for you, but I felt a longing in his heart, and I sent him to live with you."
Daisy's heart broke whenever her son behaved intelligently, sensibly, and thoughtfully in front of her. Her son was still little, but had learned to be mature. He had also learned to support his mother, and stayed with her throughout the lonely times. Without him, she couldn't imagine how she could get through those days. He was her rock.
"To tell the truth, at the start, I thought you might not accept him, so when I brought him to you, I also brought the marriage certificate. And once I was finally face-to-face with you, I was struck speechless. Fortunately, I managed to get some words out. But if you had paid attention, you would have seen that I was averting my eyes. I didn't dare to meet your gaze from beginning to end -- I was afraid that I might end up in a situation even worse than before. I couldn't bear that."
As she talked, she occasionally stopped to wipe the tears on her face. A bitter smile graced her lips the whole time. It was hard to tell whether she was self-deprecating or lost in her own memories.
"After that, I was in training. Luckily it was rigorous enough to make me forget about you in the moment. The intense and exhausting training consumed me physically and mentally. I had no spare time to care if you two were okay. But I firmly believed that you would be kind to him, as I believed that I was a good judge of character."
That was true. She had always enjoyed training and working out, because when immersed in her own world, she would temporarily forget about him. It was only when she forgot about him that her heart wouldn't
d, in her heart, bitter doubt grew. Though she had promised him that whatever happened, she would stand beside him and listen to his explanation, when this happened, she suddenly found, that she couldn't be so rational -- she couldn't stay and listen and believe in him. She couldn't reasonably judge which version of the story was the truth, Jessica's, Edward's, or hers, thus she escaped, and went to the military exercises without bidding him goodbye.
"I had never imagined that you would ever see the huge stack of newspapers that I stored in my room in the army base. It wasn't just a stack of newspapers, but also a record of all the feelings I had for you over the years, and what I felt about every piece of news about you. In a moment I felt bare and naked before you, and could never hide from you again, as you've seen through me, both body and soul. As I was panicked and scared, out of my expectation, you responded with an 'I love you". At the time, tears trickled down my cheeks. Hearing your words, I felt that I was the happiest woman in the world. The deepest spot in my heart was melted."
Daisy narrated with a sweet smile. The smile on her face was so bright, as if happiness were really in front of her, as if she reached out and could pluck it like a ripe apple from a tree.
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