Overpowered Wizard

“Lord Hoodah, what is the situation as you see it?” Foodie requested, jumping off of Slip’s back.

She hit the ground and rolled underneath a fire torrent shot in her direction by a kobold mage.

Back on her feet, she stepped on the corpse of another kobold before lunging at the fire mage. The corpse exploded into splatters of gore from the force of her lunge.

She thrust her cleaver straight through the fire mage’s chest armor, body, and out of his back with minor issue. Then, with a flick of her arm, she threw the kobold off her cleaver and into the air.

Lord Hoodah the Hulk Meister swung his giant club and smashed the dying fire mage into bloody smithereens.

“Princess! It’s getting closer to noon, and you’ve only finished your beauty sleep now, eh? It’s about time you joined us hard working trolls on the front lines!” Lord Hoodah said jokingly, which she’d expected.

There was rarely a moment spared without Lord Hoodah teasing her. The fifteen foot and muscular troll struck an imposing figure on the battlefield.

He always fought at the front with his band of troll warriors and shamans from the Death Forested Marchers, so she didn’t mind the teasing as long as he worked hard for her.

There weren’t many troll tribes out there, but Foodie knew the Death Forested Marchers were the biggest and most battle-tested. They were the main reason the Crossdeath Region had remained unconquered as an evil city before the arrival of the Floridians.

She could see the efforts of Lord Hoodah and his tribesmen and tribeswomen for herself even as Lord Hoodah explained things from his perspective.

“We’ve crushed camp after camp of kobolds in our way! My trolls led from the front while the smart and weak golems stayed behind us, conserving their strength. We didn’t even need the help of your little spiders. Oh, and the skeletons and goblins helped here and there, but they were unnecessary! We trolls will defeat the wolf kobolds and wolf dragons for you, princess! Heh heh heh heh!”

Most leaders might find it hard to disapprove of Lord Hoodah’s words, and Foodie was one of them.

While riding over here, Foodie had seen the destruction that trolls were mostly capable of. The kobold settlements had fallen like giants had stomped all over them.

There weren’t many trolls in her army, only two thousand of them, but each troll had the staggering presence and physicality of twenty to thirty humans. Trolls were born with more stats in Strength than most other adventuring creatures, except Foodie, but she was an unusual goblin.

Foodie looked around as kobolds screamed while trolls laughed. The trolls waded through magic attacks while swinging heavy metallic clubs. Their mighty weapons were high of quality and enchanted, their base material coming from the Slag River flowing through the middle of Central Crossdeath.

Under the late morning of a mostly blue-sky day, with the haze of smoke and blood lingering in the air, trolls smashed and crushed their foes.

The warriors fought the hardest with their buffs. The shamans would sometimes cast wild magic powers on themselves or other trolls, making them better at smashing and killing with elemental bonuses. Only a few shamans had healing skills, but they were mostly unnecessary, since trolls had high vitality too.

“Your report seems accurate for now.” Foodie nodded seriously up at the towering Lord Hoodah. “But I imagine things will change when we finally have Ride-or-Die Village in sight.”

“Heh heh heh! Watch us smash all the way to the village gates! Few can best troll muscle and vigor! Not even wolf dragons can compare!” Lord Hoodah raised his metal club, bashing his weapon on his spiraling horns while roaring. “SCRAP!”

His tribesmen and tribeswomen turned and yelled back, regardless of them being in a fight or not. “SCRAP!”

For the most part, Lord Hoodah’s words rang true. Hours passed, the twin suns made their way closer to setting, and Foodie’s unusual army stormed forward with little to no challenge with the trolls leading at the front.

Foodie’s advanced skeletons split into two battalions, with one covering the left and one covering the right of their large wedge formation. Her thousands of spectral spiders avoided direct conflict and focused on catching and slaying runners on the fringes.

Foodie’s golems, specifically the spider tanks, stayed out of the conflict mostly. Only occasionally did the orbital golems shoot their green-tinted beams. They destroyed hardy structures of enchanted siege engines the kobolds had built, such as rolling towers that were over two-hundred feet tall or massive rams that were three hundred feet long.

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Then there were the goblins of the Old Death Crawlers. Foodie found it weird being around more of her own people even though they were far removed from the ways of her previous tribe, the Green Hop Explorers.

The goblins of the Old Death Crawlers were plumper and grayer. They had more human-like mannerisms, which came from living in a city among humans for many generations.

She’d caught herself looking at them weirdly ever since she took a great number of them along with the trolls from Central Crossdeath. She’d caught them looking at her in amazement, as if they thought of her as some goblin goddess of sorts.

Nonetheless, the foreign goblins did their part as either archers or supportive experts. They knew where to look for the best supplies, taking everything of value from the camps regardless of all the damage the trolls had wrought.

Because of the supply-minded goblins, the spectral spiders could lean on being more like little wizards and scout experts. Or the spiders kept a lookout for moon rocks.

Loner rode on Slip’s back. The black skeleton focused on raising helpful skeletons consistently without burning out his aura.

Foodie monitored her bony, trench-coat-wearing brother to ensure he was alright. The cracks in his skull were slowly fading away, his vitality taking care of it.

Because the undead lacked life energy, the moment Loner’s vitality ran out, that would be the end of him. Foodie tapped her hand on her satchel, knowing she had the right item to help Loner just in case the worst might come to pass.

The strangest part was the lack of difficulty as they drew closer to the primary location of the siege. Foodie had killed nothing in quite some time.

They hadn’t suffered any real setbacks other than her getting kidnapped.

Kobolds died. Trolls laughed and fought, wearing their wounds proudly, if they collected any that would last on their vitality-rich bodies. Goblins of the Old Death Crawlers raided anything of worth from the demolished camps. The army of the undead steadily grew.

Spectral spiders skittered into view to give their reports through interpretive dance. Sometimes, they arrived with a piece of the orange and blue moons. Foodie consumed the moon pieces with food or drink and grew her stats.

Her army distanced themselves further from the mighty fight between one Master Ranker and five Master Rankers. Then her army broke through a mostly demolished forest line and finally saw Ride-or-Die Village.

The walls were grand and tall and pristine, more so than Foodie had imagined even after hearing it described by her father. At the center of the extraordinary village, a tower a thousand feet tall stood like a dark monument of otherworldly craft and runic prowess.

Foodie, the trolls, the goblins, and even some skeletons stopped to marvel at the fable-like sight.

Hannah really created all of Ride-or-Die Village over the course of one winter? Foodie could hardly believe it.

“Where is the fighting?” Lord Hoodah asked, his brutish tone sounding dumbfounded now.

That snapped Foodie’s attention away from the village and to the lands surrounding the heart of the Dark Lord’s empire.

The lands were covered in kobold corpses. There were so many dead kobolds, their bodies acted as one massive carpet surrounding all of Ride-or-Die Village.

That wasn’t the scariest part.

Foodie recognized the massive bodies of wolf dragons of different classes laying about near the walls of the heavily fortified village.

“There is plenty of fighting still,” said an old goblin, Elder Snatcher.

He was the oldest goblin of the Old Death Crawlers. Very gray. Very bent over. But he was easy for Foodie to talk to when she needed the goblins to handle the grunt work.

Elder Snatcher also seemed to have garnered the respect of Lord Hoodah and his trolls. So when the old goblin hobbled up with his little cane, the mighty troll lord stepped aside and gave Elder Snatcher the floor.

Foodie paid close attention..

“Yes, yes, plenty of fighting still,” Elder Snatcher said, scratching at his rear with his gnarled free hand. “But not as much fighting as we thought. It seems the home of the Dark Lord is much, much capable of defending themselves. But there is still much opportunity to establish our glory, yes, yes.”

Foodie agreed. The last fighting of the siege was near the northern gate of the village. It looked like the wolf dragons and wolf kobolds were making one last push to break beyond the walls.

They were doing so by stacking mounds of their own corpses to reach the top of the northern wall easier.

No matter what attack the village defenders delivered to destroy the mounds of corpses, there were plenty more corpses the kobolds and dragons could use to clamber up to the top. Because of the large sizes of the wolf dragons and some of the high levels among the kobolds, they didn’t need much to jump onto the ramparts and cause trouble there.

Other than that, there weren’t more than fifteen thousand kobolds and three dozen wolf dragons left for this desperate frontal assault.

Foodie looked back. She counted fifty helpful golem supports that walked like cube-shaped men. She counted eighteen destruction-shooting orbital golems that were shaped like hand-sized balls. She counted twelve spider tanks, each one large enough to ride on while having little compartments for spectral spiders to do their work inside.

Then she counted two thousand trolls, four thousand advanced skeletons, and five thousand goblin supporters. There were also eight thousand helpful skeletons made from various humanoid creatures, half of them being kobolds. Finally, she felt through the spider network that nine thousand spectral spiders survived the trip from Grimrock to here, with each one ready to work.

The count was quick for her. Her Wonder stat helped.

She checked on Loner and Slip the Sleipnir. They were both ready and healthy enough.

Then Princess Foodie turned to look up at Lord Hoodah.

“Take your trolls and lead the way.”

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