354 The Trial
Evalyn's skin was marred with blue veins that ruptured, causing her entire body to turn bright red and blotchy from internal bleeding.
The blood drained, leaving her pale in some areas before the process repeated every few seconds.
A chilling cacophony of cracks echoed as her ribs shattered, puncturing her lungs and healing repeatedly, playing her desperate gasps for air like a xylophone.
Her eyes were wide open, but she couldn't think. The pain was too overwhelming.
Evalyn's mental strength? Useless.
She never imagined that pain could reach a saturation point — a point where the mind stopped accepting it, much like water stopped dissolving sugar or salt. But it did.
If she were Kaze, she believed she might endure even more realms of pain before reaching the limit again.
| сom But that wasn't the real reason Kaze had preferred to obliterate his body and tried to conceal the true nature of the pill — it was the process itself.
Evalyn could sense the grave robber attempting to grow within her, sprouting razor-sharp thorns that sliced through her body, trying to take root. Had she not known what it was, she would have thought the process was alien and feared that something was living inside her. However, knowing its true nature filled her with indescribable fear that it would win and take over her mind.
Without Kaze's presence and the certainty that he wouldn't have given her the pill, if he couldn't forcefully stop it, she would have gone insane. Total pain; paralyzing fear.
The agony was so intense she couldn't even hear her screams, hauntingly melodious as if someone beside her was stabbing her while she pleaded for help. Nor did she realize that she was frozen, unable to move.
Kaze watched her with a pained expression in his eyes. "Forgive me, Evalyn," he whispered. "I can't shield, cherish, and care for you like Kiera and Kylie, nor manage your movements like Marilyn or Addison. All I can do to protect you is help you prepare and pray you don't perish."
The emperor observed a large vein swell in Evalyn's wrist, snaking up her lung meridian network toward her heart. His fingers lit up, sending a wave of purple energy through her, making her scream until she was deprived of oxygen and disoriented.
A golden light followed as the vein dissipated, easing Evalyn's pain for the first time.
"Forgive my selfishness for giving you an amount you couldn't handle alone," he confessed, closing his eyes in bitterness. "I took this much and survived — my lovers who didn't perished. All I know is my experience, so this is the most I can give."
Somehow, Evalyn's stubbornness transcended space, time, and saturated pain, driven by primal instinct alone. She squeezed his hand and released it as if to say: what did I say about sharing struggles, you stubborn fool!?
"You'll never let me forget why I love you," Kaze smiled, gazing at her tenderly. "I'll make sure I never take it for granted this time."
*****
"I thought I couldn't feel more broken," Evalyn chuckled, each breath sharp as a knife. "Then I took that pill. Now, I can't even cultivate properly."
Kaze closed his eyes, gazing at his partner, curled up, her eyes filled with trauma, terror, and turmoil. Her statement was the first she had spoken in three hours since the process ended, and he had no response.
The process had healed her meridians, effectively sealing them shut temporarily. Now, she was in pain if she tried to cultivate, as was natural. He had planned to warn her, but she had already taken the pill.
However, focusing on that detail would be offensive, so he remained silent.
"Do you regret giving me the pill?" Evalyn asked.
After a significant pause, Kaze opened his eyes: "No."
"Even though you knew I'd refuse your offer?" she inquired.
He paused again. "Yes."
"Even if it turns me into a lifeless husk?" Evalyn asked.
"Time is both cruel and miraculous, Evalyn," Kaze replied, taking a deep breath. "I didn't speak for five years after you died. If someone had a problem with me, I tried to leave once; if they stopped me, we'd fight — and as you can see, I sit beside you today."
Evalyn's fully dilated pupils constricted slightly, bringing a hint of blue back to her pitch-black eyes. "What brought you back?"
"Wrath," he chuckled. "Spite. Hatred. Revenge. Terrible emotions whose only redeeming value is lifting someone out of the deepest pits of despair."
"Did it help you heal?" she asked, wincing from the pain.
Kaze took a deep breath, closing his eyes again. "No."
Evalyn's expression fell, darkness creeping back into her eyes. She had hoped that toxic emotions had saved him, giving her hope for passive healing. "Then what did?"
"An enchantress." he replied.
The blonde's pupils narrowed to pinpricks, hearing the ironic and somewhat offensive contrast between her current state and the solution. "Love? False love? Lust?"
"Desire," Kaze countered.
"Desire?" Evalyn questioned, her eyes widening as confusion cut through her emotions. "A desire for what?"
"To feel content again," he answered. "She made me want to heal instead of clinging to the elements and trauma that broke me."
Evalyn felt a primal urge to run away, but a conflict seized her heart like a vice, immobilizing her and forcing her to confront his words.
"That's the irony, Evalyn," Kaze chuckled, a wry, rueful smile on his lips. "Normalcy is something we all desire, yet we protect our traumas as if they're dire. However, the second that I experienced true contentment was enough to fuel my actions for a lifetime."
The blonde felt like his words had pierced her, touching something she refused to consider. Yet, his final statement ignited her curiosity. "It only took a moment?"
"Would you like to find out?" he asked. "It's not dual cultivation."
Evalyn panicked at the thought. She feared he would be right that he would show her a glimpse of normalcy, and she'd lose her entire personality — and die.
The things she despised about herself kept her safe. Her toxicity allowed her to kill without remorse, provoke her soldiers’ anger to protect them, and give her life purpose: to fight for others' contentment, something she could never have.
His tempting offer could be a genuine death sentence before a decisive battle.
Kaze chuckled, seeing her expression. "Ah, if it were that simple," he smirked. "As if a person could experience a technique and then wake up brand new, as though their habits and behavior were all just a broken light switch. That would indeed be worth dying for."
Evalyn's racing pulse slowed, feeling a cool wave soothe her boiling blood. "Then what does it do?"
"It's a trial of sorts," he smiled, enigmatic and enticing. "You will face your demons from various perspectives to find the one that fits; then your mind latches onto it, allowing you to work towards it."
"Is it meant to alter a person's personality?" Evalyn asked, her brow furrowed.
"Exactly," Kaze replied with a sly grin. "Cultivation heals mental imbalances, and since personality disorders become psychological, once I took this trial, everything changed."
Evalyn's eyes wavered as she studied his face for the first time. The ruler of the five planes offered her something she deeply desired, leaving her disoriented.
"What if you no longer love me after the change?" Evalyn's voice trembled.
"Oh, love," Kaze chuckled, "You confront formidable obstacles with unyielding determination that borders on madness — and the trial ahead is the greatest challenge you'll face. My only concern is that I'll love you even more afterwards."
As he flashed her a captivating smile, Evalyn hurled a pillow at him with supernatural force. The pillow exploded, feathers filling the air.
Though the scene was comical, neither smiled as they locked eyes, their gazes entwined with trust, temptation, and turmoil.
"Will you take responsibility for the trial as you have for this plant?" Evalyn questioned.
"Only if you ask nicely," Kaze teased, causing her cheeks to flush with annoyance.
"Fine, use it on me," she sighed. "I'm a fool who can't resist a challenge."
"As you wish," he smiled, closing his eyes and radiating a pink aura.
"Fracture."
As Evalyn gazed into the pink light, her world became hazy. She wanted to scream but couldn't find the thoughts to fuel her desire.
She was left disoriented, unsure of who she was or her purpose, as if her soul had become malleable. She simply ceased to be.
And then, as if she could stare at her person from an outside perspective: she cracked, shattering into pieces like a broken mirror.
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