Chapter 5
Chapter 5: Fleecing Me?
Li Yundong’s expression was truly vivid . He could not face his teacher and classmates who were suffering from breakdown . Like his butt was on fire, he grabbed the little fast and ran .
The little fox was still unclear about the situation . Dragged along by Li Yundong, she asked in puzzlement, “What is it?”
Pulling the little fox along, Li Yundong only managed to escape two steps outside the classroom, before the entire class exploded into uproarious laughter .
This laughter caused Li Yundong’s face to burn with embarrassment . He was so ashamed that if there were a crack on the ground, he would immediately jump in .
It was the end . He could no longer attend this class, staying would just continue to disgrace himself .
Li Yundong stomped his feet . Dragging the little fox, he decided to run home despite it being class time .
On the way, Li Yundong pulled the little fox along and ran with all his might . No matter how dumb she might be, the little fox had noticed something was wrong .
Once the two reentered Li Yundong’s apartment, the little fox once again lowered her head, timidly giving Li Yundong a glance . She softly asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
Li Yundong wanted to cry but he had no tears, “What do you think?”
The little fox pouted her lips, like a victim wronged . “This one* did not say anything wrong... cucumbers is cold (internal heat) in nature, refreshing in flavor, and it lower internal heat!”
Li Yundong wanted to blow up . He seized the cucumber that the little fox was still holding in her hand and started cursing, “Lowers heat! The great me lowers heat, my ass! I can cucumber stab you to death in one blow, believe me!”
The little fox was frightened by Li Yundong . She looked up at him with her beautiful teary eyes, but quickly lowered her head again . Her tears fell with a pitter-patter . She could not help thinking, “Master was right sure enough . The people outside of our mountain are savage and violent . They shout beat and kill at the slightest provocation . This fellow is especially hateful . Hmph, when I deceive you into successfully building your foundation, I’ll drain you dry!”
“Okay okay, stop crying already . If you keep crying, you’ll become a little calico cat!**” Li Yundon attempted a very cliché line . He wanted to reach out and help the little fox wipe her tears . However, the little fox’s supremely beautiful and yet pitiful appearance caused his heart to tremble . His hand raised midway before coming to a stop .
The little fox detected that Li Yundong’s anger had already vanished . So she daringly raised her head and asked, “You don’t blame me anymore?”
The corners of Li Yundong’s mouth twitched and he forced himself to answer with a smile, “I don’t blame you!”
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‘Where the heck did this girl come from to be so innocent and pure?
‘Nowadays, where would you find a girl like this? She’s national treasure grade!
‘Based on her speech habits, she seems to be from the mountains? A countryside maiden? Man, in what countryside do maidens grow up this pretty?’
However, no matter what he thought about, there was a vexing issue that he could not avoid .
Li Yundong loosed a long sigh . He grabbed his head and pulled on his hair as he paced back and forth in the living room . “Oi, what can I do? How can I go to class tomorrow? If I go to class tomorrow, won’t they laugh me to death?”
The little fox lifted her head and scrunched her nose . She waved her fist and assumed a fierce demeanor . “Who dares to laugh at you? I’ll help you beat him up!”
Li Yundong sized up Su Chan . Even though this girl could not be considered short, her wait was thin, her butt perky, and her limbs were thin . She looked like a maiden without enough strength to truss a chicken .
He broke out in laughter, “You?”
For better or worse, Su Chan was still a three tailed fox demon . Her magic was equivalent to cultivator of Divine Ability realm . While she could not compare to the experts of the various large cultivation sects hidden beneath the mundane world, but compared to ordinary mortals, she was an unimaginably strong existence .
Hearing the belittlement in Li Yundong’s voice, Su Chan angrily said, “You’re looking down on me?”
Li Yundong saw that the girl was truly a bit angry . He suppressed the urge to laugh and said, “Of course not . The cucumber you bought could scare a lot of people . Did you not see all those students and teachers who were scared silly when you entered the classroom? Who would dare offend you?”
Su Chan flew into a rage out of humiliation . She snatched back the cucumber in Li Yundong’s hand and stabbed it towards him, “I’ll poke you to death . I dare you go say it again!”
Li Yundong turned around and ran, laughing merrily . Su Chan chased from behind unwilling to let up . The two of them joked and fought . Li Yundong was chased into the bedroom . He hid at the foot of the bed . He waved his hands and laughingly said, “Heroine have mercy . Heroine have mercy . This little one knows his wrongs . ”
Su Chan bit her lips, aiming the cucumber at Li Yundong’s body, she stabbed forth . With this stab, the cucumber snapped in two with a ‘pah’ sound .
Li Yundong reacted quickly and in one motion caught the section that was snapped off in his hand . With a smile, he retaliated by prodding at Su Chan . “He he, wasn’t that foolish? It broke, didn’t it? I dare you to stab me again!”
Su Chan received two blows to her lower waist from Li Yundong . That was her most ticklish place, so she immediately broke out into laughter . As she laughed, she counterattacked, “Very well . You even dared to retaliate . Today, this heroine will represent heaven and mete out justice!”
The little fox was innately naughty . Once she started joking with Li Yundong, she could not stop . Only when Li Yundong’s cucumber prodded the softest part of her chest, did she return to her senses and release a shriek . She hugged at her chest and glared at Li Yundong without saying a word .
Li Yundong also realized that he prodded the wrong place . With a self-depreciating smile, he also did not know what he should say . For a time, the two of them just stared at each other .
Li Yundong was secretly regretful . He was too rash . What if he scared off this one in a million beauty? That would truly be discouraging .
The little fox was secretly pondering why she had been joking and playing with this fellow . She was even slightly happy . And how come this fellow did not seem as hateful as before?
‘This can’t go on . This fellow ate the Human Origin Gold Pill . His yang qi was super strong . What if he’s affected by my yin qi? If he suddenly becomes passionate before building his foundation and propositions me, what will I do?
‘Wouldn’t my plan be ruined?
‘This can’t go on . From now on, I need to distance myself from him . I have to wait until he make progress on his cultivation . ’
Thinking those thoughts, Su Chan’s smile gradually disappeared . She considered for a moment before putting down the cucumber in her hands and said, “I-I have nowhere to go, but still, you can’t bully me like this...”
This line caused Li Yundong’s sympathy to well up . The way he looked at Su Chan also became soft and full of warmth . He stood up and let out a dry cough . Even though he had nothing to say, he would find something . “What about you? Are you hungry?”
As soon as those words were said, Su Chan’s stomach started growling .
The little fox’s cheeks reddened, and she nodded her head . While on the inside, she thought, ‘No kidding, I guarded you for three days . How can I not be hungry? I didn’t even have time to eat . I even bought food for you in order to make a good impression . To think you don’t appreciate my kindness . You really make me mad!”
Li Yundong smiled and said, “Hungry? No problem . It just happens that I’m hungry too . I’ll make something to eat!”
The little fox was a little flabbergasted . “You know how to cook?”
Li Yundong’s parents left him while he was still a child . His personality may be lazy, but in order to survive, he had grasped a set of decent cooking skills . He proudly pulled his sleeves and said, “Hmph, I’ll let you witness my abilities!”
With those words, he left the bedroom and walked to kitchen . He pulled open the refrigerator and was instantly struck dumb .
The inside of the refrigerator was a disaster zone . It was as if a hurricane had blown through . Everything edible had been cleared out . Even the bottle of fermented bean curd was not spared .
‘I’ve been robbed?’ Li Yundong subconsciously thought .
The little fox saw Li Yundong open the refrigerator only to freeze . She suddenly remember she had eaten everything inside . Her face suddenly felt hot . With shame written on her face, she tiptoed close inch by inch and said in a mosquito-like voice, “I-I ate it...”
Li Yundong sucked in a breath of cold air . He unwittingly wanted to say, ‘Are you the reincarnation of someone who starved to death? There were two Orleans Roast Chicken, three bottles of coconut milk, a bag of cakes, four bags of bread, three boxes of jello, half a watermelon, and a bottle of fermented bean curd . You ate all of that? How are you not dead from overeating?
Li Yundong looked at the little fox’s pitiful appearance . He managed to hold back his words . Releasing a sigh, he said, “Even the cleverest housewife cannot cook without rice . There’s no ingredients at home . No matter how good I am, I can’t make anything like this . Let’s go buy some ingredients . ”
The little fox saw that he was not going to pursue the issue . She hurriedly nodded and obediently followed behind Li Yundong .
Li Yundong peered back at her, and curiously asked, “You’re not going to wait at home?”
The little fox shook her head like a rattle . Her hand grabbed onto the lower hem of Li Yundong’s top, as if she were afraid Li Yundong would throw her her away . She said sounding miserable, “I’ll go with you . ”
Li Yundong looked at her appearance and said with a smile, “Okay . But could you not act like this . It looks like I mistreat you or something . ”
The little fox finally stopped worrying . She lifted her head and gave a sweet smile .
The two left the apartment . They walked for only seven or eight minutes before arrive at the nearby marketplace .
Just as they entered, Li Yundong saw the vegetable selling aunty charge at him in an overbearing manner .
“You little fox spirit! You hussy! You owe this old lady money, and you dare bring this pretty boy and come back?” While still some distance apart, the vegetable selling aunty started cursing at them loudly .
Seeing the aunty act like an old shrew, Li Yundong frowned and soundlessly moved in front of the little fox and said, “What’s the matter? Can’t we discuss it peacefully?”
The vegetable stand owner pointed at Su Chan and said, “A while ago she bought my vegetable, but she left without paying! This little slut is already doing bad things at a young age, how much worse will she be in the future?”
Li Yundong was angry inside . He glared at the vegetable stand owner and said, “How much money does she owe? I’ll pay it . ”
The vegetable stand owner noticed that Li Yundong, despite his ordinary looks, had a pair of frighteningly bright eyes . A simple glance from him was like the sharp end of a blade, enough to make her heart quiver . She did not meet his eyes .
She originally wanted to make peace and fix the situation . After all, friendliness was a necessity if you wanted to make money in the business . However, she just happened to see the little fox hiding behind Li Yundong looking miserable . All the men were looking at her practically drooling . The aunty could not help but get angry again .
The vegetable stand owner abruptly remembered, back when she was pregnant, her own husband once cheated on her due to the seduction of a coquettish fox . If she did not have misgivings due to her child, she might have gotten divorced right away .
Although this happened long ago, the vegetable stand owner could not forget . The sight of any beautiful women is enough to incite her temper .
Hearing that Li Yundong was willing to pay up, with a spin of her eyes, she held out her palm and demanded, “One hundred kuai***!”
Li Yundong smiled in anger, “A cucumber and a carrot for one hundred kuai? Did you gild your cucumber with gold? Or perhaps your carrot has silver studs?”
The vegetable stand owner’s eyes bulged and she said, “What? She stole from me, so there’s a ten times penalty . ”
Li Yundong replied sounding furious, “Even with a ten times penalty, it shouldn’t be one hundred! A carrot and a cucumber cost ten kuai? That’s daylight robbery!”
The vegetable stand owner noticed that more and more bystanders were gathering . She grew apprehensive inside, but soon, her son charged over aggressively, holding a sharp vegetable knife in his hands . He viciously asked, “Mom, who’s stirring up trouble?”
~~~
*人家 – multiple meanings: In this case, it’s a cute or sexy or full of grievance way for girls to refer to themselves in third person . It is the same as I/me, but as a pronoun 人家 is closer to ‘one’ or ‘people’ . Similar but less cutesy than when Japanese girl refer to themselves in third person .
** become a calico cat – in a similar vein to become a flower, basically flowers and flower cats (I substituted with calico cat) have patterns and they’re cute things girls are often compared to . Crying might create a pattern on someone’s face . So if a cute girl cries a lot, she can become a flower or calico cat .
*** kuai – Chinese Yuan/a piece: in this case it is colloquial for yuan . In many dialects such as Shanghai dialect, kuai is used in place of yuan in a casual setting, for example shopping . The price tags will be written with yuan but the salesperson would say kuai .
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