Return of the Runebound Professor

Bird led Noah across campus. He fully expected her to bring him to some secret building or hidden alleyway in the shadows. Instead, he found himself standing before the Transport Cannon.

“I think you might have gotten lost,” Noah said.

Bird looked at him out of the corners of her eyes. “Did you really think there was a passage to find a bunch of monsters with Space and similarly rare runes just… sitting around in Arbitage?”

“I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have been surprised to find that in the slightest.”

“Okay, I can’t fault you for that one,” Bird admitted. She tugged at her hair and shook her head. “But no, it’s not at Arbitage.”

“You’re aware that the transport cannon is having a little trouble right now, right?” Noah asked carefully. “Because I don’t think we’re going to be able to use it.”

“Oh, that’s of no concern.” Bird started up the stairs and Noah followed behind her.

“How so?” Noah asked as they walked onto the lift.

“They’ve already got the cannon up and running partially. Volunteers with space magic have been powering it,” Bird explained. “It’s only for urgent usage, though. Lots of restrictions.”

“Restrictions that do not apply to our family.” Bird didn’t even bother hiding the smug grin that pulled across her lips. She quickly remembered just who she was talking to and wiped it clean, replacing it with a poorly repressed grimace. “Don’t even think about trying to join to get them. Otto gets overeager about new things, but it won’t last.”

“Trust me, I have absolutely no desire to join your family,” Noah said with a wave of his hand. “I’ve got my own plans and none of them involve you. I’d much prefer to keep our relationship as business partners, Bird.”

“Bird?”

“Whoops. Sorry. That’s you. You had the bird mask on when we first met, and it’s not like you’ve introduced yourself. Bird seems as good a name as any.”

The lift rattled to a stop on the top floor of the transport cannon. Both of them stepped off and Bird shrugged.

“It works.”

Noah couldn’t help but notice that the transport cannon was completely empty. There was no sight of Tim — which was rather annoying, as he’d been hoping to find the man so he could wrap up fixing his runes.

Bird didn’t seem anywhere near as bothered as he was. She headed over to the control panel and pressed a hand against it. Ripples of dull light washed over it, far dimmer than the energy that Tim had elicited.

She pulled a small metal bar out from a pocket and slid it into a hole, twisting it in place before pressing it down. The bar slid seamlessly into the control panel and a dull hum emitted from the cannon tube behind Noah.

“There,” Bird said. “It’ll take a bit to gather all the energy we need.”

“You’ve used this thing before?”

“Arbitage isn’t the only location with a transport cannon, though it did have the most powerful one by a very, very wide margin. We have one on our estate,” Bird replied absently. She adjusted some of the controls on the panel and the humming grew louder. “We can use this opportunity to go over the rules.”

“There are rules?”

“Yes. You have 1 hour before the cannon pulls you back,” Bird said. She reached into a pocket and pulled out a leaf of folded papers. “You can take any Runes that you manage to get during that time.”

She held the papers out to Noah and he took them. He leafed through the pack, but they were all blank. Something about them felt… off. It took Noah a moment to figure out what it was. The paper was a fair bit thicker than it should have been.

Fancy Catchpaper? I’ve got a whole damn grimoire. Why would I need this?

“It’s not just any Catchpaper,” Bird said, correctly reading the confusion on Noah’s face and smirking. “Otto is really pulling out the stops for you. That’s some of the most sensitive Catchpaper we’ve got. It’s the best way to ensure you collect a Rune from something you kill. And, if you’re as good as he seems to believe you are, then you’ll be able to get at least one or two Runes. I gave you ten whole sheets of it, and you’ll have an hour. Even an average Rank 4 should be able to take out five or six monsters in that time. I’m sure at least one of those papers will grab a Rune.”

Noah arched an eyebrow. Those numbers weren’t bad — but they didn’t exactly seem good either. It sounded like the Catchpaper was definitely more effective than normal with how confident she was, but walking out of this with just one Rune that he couldn’t even pick would have been pretty disappointing.

Would have been.

He fought to keep a grin from his face as he inclined his head. “I see. So that’s why you were confident I’d get what I wanted. Do I get to keep all the paper?”

“Of course not.” Bird snorted. “Do you have any idea how much that stuff is worth? We aren’t giving it to you for free. You’ll have to pull the Runes off it and return the paper when you’re done.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

The grimoire on Noah’s back twitched. Bird’s eyes flicked to it and her brow furrowed, likely trying to figure out if she’d actually just seen it move or not. Noah cleared his throat to draw her attention back to him.

“Right then. And what kind of monsters can I expect to find?”

“No idea. Haven’t been in here myself,” Bird replied. “I’m not stupid enough to try for Space Runes. There’s a reason only madmen go after them.”

Noah didn’t miss the implication in her voice, but he didn’t particularly care. She had a pretty good reason not to like him. He didn’t blame her for it in the slightest — his grimoire had had more than a bit of fun at his expense.

And you not liking me is beneficial. I really don’t want to get any more tied to the King family than I have to. I want help from them, not any form of attachment.

“Perfect. When can I go?”

Bird gestured to the cannon tube. “Get in. It should be ready soon enough. And one more thing.”

Noah paused midway through walking over to the cannon and glanced back at her. “Yeah?”

“You’re going to have to draw the monsters to you when you arrive. It’s a large area, so they might not be sitting around in wait. It might be temping to go all out and try to draw the attention of the strongest monsters you can find. Resist that urge. You’re nothing but a fortunate Rank 4 that has a connection. Don’t be too overzealous if you want to survive.” Her tone made it pretty clear what she suspected Noah’s skill would be.

Noah inclined his head before squeezing himself into the cannon tube. He had to twist to the side and awkwardly bounce-slide himself in to make the grimoire fit, but he eventually managed to get himself situated. Craning his neck back, he squinted at Bird.

“Okay. I’m in. What—”

A bright blue flash and a sharp pop swallowed the rest of his words. Noah vanished, streaking off through the air in a beam of light.

***

It was the roughest trip via transport cannon that Noah had ever felt. It felt like he’d been strapped to a tiny strip of wood and then tossed off a waterfall. His body bounced against invisible bubbles of energy. It stretched and shrunk as it passed through space before finally snapping back to normal as he hit ground with a thud.

Noah groaned, rolling over and pushing himself upright. He rubbed his eyes, squinting as the remnants of the light faded from around him. Then he froze.

He sat in a field of short purple grass specked with misshapen foliage that looked like it had been drawn by a toddler. Misshapen trees sprouted sporadically sporting ridiculously large fruits and bushes rose up into the sky like towers.

The sky, for that matter, was wrong.

There really wasn’t another way to put it. Swirls of purple intermixed where there should have been clouds. They came in all shades and sizes, some swooping low enough to the land to brush across it. There was no sign of the sun. There wasn’t a sign of where any light was coming from, for that matter.

The oddities didn’t end there. Large portions of the landscape seemed like they’d been ripped straight out of the ground and turned on an angle before being shoved back in. Jagged chunks jutted out of the ground, the trees on them growing to the side rather than up and toward the light.

Curls of faint purple smoke twisted up from the ground and brushed past Noah’s skin like mist. He hadn’t been entirely sure what sort of location would house a lot of monsters with Space Runes, but this one certainly seemed like it fit the bill. He pushed himself to his feet, turning in a circle.

There were no signs of the strange, purple-hued landscape coming to an end. It stretched on as far as he could see. A chilly breeze curled across his back and, despite the warmth of Combustion within, he shivered.

“The hell am I?” Noah muttered to himself. “And who stole the bloody sun?”

His words faded into the haze around him. He glanced around, but it was hard to tell if there were any monsters in the area. There was just so… much. Between all the jutting cliffs, the strange foliage, and the purple haze covering the ground, it was difficult to make out one shape from another.

Noah called on the variety of Body Imbuements he had. He scanned the ground beneath him for vibration, then checked his surroundings. There was nothing nearby.

Interesting. Bird was right about there not being monsters immediately in the area. She said to take it easy when trying to draw monster attention, but I’m not just any old Rank 4.

Noah pulled his gourd off his waist and set it down in the shade of a bush after double checking to make sure that absolutely nothing was nearby. He then headed back over to where he’d arrived and pulled out the fancy Catchpaper that Bird had given him.

His grimoire shuddered again. Noah’s eyes narrowed and he pulled the large book off his back. He set it on the ground and crossed his arms as the eye formed on its face and looked up to meet his gaze.

“You think you’re getting anything?” Noah asked, waving the Catchpaper. “You little shit. You made me look like a pervert. Why shouldn’t I just use—”

A strip of paper shot out from the grimoire, wrapping around the bunch in Noah’s hand and yanking it free. It flew back into the large book as it snapped shut, then looked back at him innocently.

“Goddamn it,” Noah said. “You’re giving those back before we head back, you hear me? And if you want to leave my room again, you better do some damn work. I can forgive jokes, but if you stand in my way, I’m going to use you as toilet paper.”

The grimoire’s flapped open and it peeled back a flat page — one that looked considerably thicker than it should have been. Noah tilted his head to the side. It was the same size as the paper the book had just eaten.

“I’m taking that as assent,” Noah said, grabbing the book and slinging it over his back. He didn’t have time for more distractions. If he only had an hour, then the one thing he would not be doing was following Bird’s advice.

Let’s see what this place has to offer. If the monsters are around Rank 3 to 4… I can handle them no problem.

A grin pulled at the corners of Noah’s lips. He called on Sunder. Power flooded his veins and turned them black as energy gathered around him. The energy continued to flood from the Master Rune until Noah couldn’t handle any more of it.

Then he released it all into the ground at his feet.

A blade of black energy carved through the purple-tinted dirt and vanished into the earth beneath him with barely a sound. A second passed. Then two.

Noah’s senses screamed a warning. He launched himself back with a burst of wind, spinning to stare at where he’d been instants before. A purple spiral swirled out in the air as a long, clawed hand nearly as large as him swept down, carving deep furrows through the dirt.

Rippling black scales covering the monster’s arm shimmered as it pulled itself out from the rend in reality. It’s torso and head vaguely resembled a huge lizard, but that was where the similarities ended. It had eight gangly limbs that bent at multiple different points like those of an insect. The monster had no eyes, but from the way its head snapped to trace Noah’s position, he got the feeling it didn’t need one. The creature’s mouth parted to reveal three rows of hairlike fangs.

Noah took a long look at the creature. It was so hideous that it that seemed to exist in spite of any justice in the universe — and it was currently about to do everything in its power to kill Noah. And so, in what might have been the last move that any sane man would have done in his position, he grinned.

Let’s see what this place has to offer.

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