One plus one is two…
Ten times ten equals one hundred…
Four plus four equals eight…
The theorem of Pythagoras is…
Wait, what was I even doing just now?
… Oh, yes! Math! I was reviewing the basic arithmetic functions that I learned in my childhood.
Ha… haha….
For no particular reason whatsoever, Sol felt a genuine surge of happiness for the first time in a while, prompting him to laugh inwardly from the bottom of his heart.
It was an innocent laugh, like a child’s laughter full of purity. And that told him… he was reaching his limits soon. It had been long, so much he had even forgotten how much time he spent inside this endless void of nothingness.
After he stopped counting the time at 100 days, he started experiencing an internal meltdown, his sanity already on its limits.Had it been five months? Six? Or perhaps years? Decades? Centuries? Millennia?
There was no way to measure time inside this place bereft of basically everything. He could only guess while employing some ridiculous methods. He was sure that it was more than probable for only an instant to pass in the outside world, however, that wasn’t enough to calm him down or bring any comfort. Such was the solitude brought about by the End.
Perhaps he was already dead and was floating aimlessly in some part of the Afterlife. The very fact that he could even think coherently at the moment was nothing more than a miracle and the result of his inhumane mental fortitude and inherent nature.
Sol couldn’t help but laugh inwardly at the thought. Strange, he was sure that he was laughing wholeheartedly right now, but he could oddly feel that there were tears in his eyes. Of course, he couldn’t actually cry, but he imagined himself sobbing right now. Only by constantly bringing such thoughts of emotions into his mind could he keep himself sane for so long.
How did things get so bad?
He simply entered the Gate because he wanted to find the strength that would allow him to save everyone. To find the key to his future. Had he been too selfish and confident in himself?
Was I not strong enough to handle this challenge?
Had he truly been mistaken? If he was somehow able to escape from this abyssal hellhole… should he just run away, leaving everything behind? Should he perhaps gun for a weaker name instead?
Do I even have to do this?
As a Blessed and Dimensional Mage, his path to power was more than just assured. Once he attained the King realm, the path toward attaining the Demigod realm would be nothing but a breeze as he would face none of the restrictions that marred the path of others aiming for that realm.
With his Divine Weapon and Zone, even False Gods had no means of beating him. Even if he technically couldn’t win against them, he could make sure that they would never win against him either.
Murmurs echoed in his mind, tempting him, slowly bringing him toward a desire for acceptance. To settle for less, to give up.
This was the safe path. The logical path, one with no risks nor danger, and yet…
I don’t want that.
Sol tried to chase away the darkness encroaching upon his mind once again and shut down the murmurs creeping in, however, they proved to be more than a bit persistent this time around. Even if he could go back to the past, he was sure that would still take the same path. That was his decision and yet…
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I am so tired.
More than anything, more than even his fading sense of self, what gnawed at his mind the most was none other than his loneliness.
In this life, the longest time he had gone without someone at his side could be counted in hours or days at most, and even then… he was sure that he would be exaggerating the time to some extent. All his life, he had both people who loved him and people who hated him at an arm’s distance. No matter where he was, there was someone beside him.
But now? Now, there was no one.
His memory was starting to become faint with each passing moment. The faces of those he loved and cherished began to compress into a blur and their voices were nothing but a distant indistinguishable noise and unstable glimpses.
I don’t want this!
He roared in his mind, trying to gather those scattered memories that he cherished more than life itself.
There was nothing he couldn’t defeat. If he wanted to give up, he would kill himself before he could ever enact such a thought.
If I didn’t even have this resolve, I would have never come here.
Sol swore to himself that he would find a way out of this shitty. god-forsaken place. He had faced Death multiple times already, fought demigods when he was a mere Duke, defied and schemed against the goddesses themselves, and was planning to conquer the entire mortal realm and put it under his control.
There was no way he would falter now! Not when he was so close to achieving all of his goals.
Yet the trial he was facing could never be overcome by a mortal.
Then…
I simply have to become something beyond human.
Sol thought back to all the changes that had slowly been happening to him over the course of a few weeks back in the real world as he came closer and closer to the source. His mind changed, and his perception advanced further than ever before.
All this time, he had been fighting against that feeling, trying to stop himself from drifting too far away, fearing that he might lose himself and vanish forever. But now… he knew that he had no choice. If he did not change his thinking from a fundamental viewpoint, his consciousness would not be able to hold on and eventually scatter.
I feel like I’ve become a cicada.
Some species spent close to 20 years underground until they died. They had one chance in their 20 years to shed their skins, to break away from their confines and earn their sweet freedom… however short that freedom may be. They could become new creatures and fly through the skies. The cicadas who missed their chances died thinking that the ground was their whole world, never to be aware of the existence of the infinite horizons above.
I will never die in a shitty place like this.
Sol sharpened his will and stopped fighting the darkness. He had to accept it, embrace it, and become one with it.
Everything had its own End— the conclusion of their story.
Some were sad, some brought relief, while others brought grief and woe.
No matter what people tried, all would eventually reach their predetermined End, such was the inescapable Fate of everything in existence. A basic rule etched onto reality and imposed upon all existence. It was a rule that had been bestowed upon all existences at the very moment of their creation, and by that rule, even he would reach his own End, basking in the embrace of Finality.
But not now.
Every Beginning had its own End, and reaching the End brought about a new Beginning. It was a cycle that encompassed all, and Sol was left with no choice but to accept that he had no way to escape this cycle.
I see…
Realization started dawning on him and enlightenment burned in his heart.
From one’s perspective, this world and this entire universe would begin with our Life and end with our Death. As long as there was someone left to observe the world, the world can never reach the End.
They said to think is to exist. I think, therefore I am.
And so, what he must do from now on was set in stone. To reach the end of his story, he needed to cease all of his thoughts by doing so, he would finally erase his existence.
Truly the gamble of a lifetime.
All or nothing!
If he was wrong and if he failed, his existence would truly be extinguished for good and there would be no path left for him to return.
Slowly, Sol stopped trying to maintain his consciousness, and like a candle under a gust of wind, the flame started to flicker until it was completely snuffed out.
Thus ended the existence of one called Sol.
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