The rest of the day went by rather uneventfully and I was somehow glad that nothing happened. All the while I was sitting beside Kizhashi, I didn't speak a single word because I simply wasn't in the mood to acknowledge others.
It was a rather bad habit of me shutting people off whenever I got depressed or had a lot going on in my mind, which I found difficult to deal with.
I knew that Tsūmen was worried about me, but I couldn't afford to tell him anything. He was used to this behaviour of mine, but I ended up showing more than I needed to at lunchtime and made him even more worried for me.
He was quite stubborn when it came to things like this, but I was also stubborn enough to cancel out his efforts. I just didn't enjoy sulking over things that made me depressed and talking about it with others because there was simply no point in it.
Sharing your problems with others doesn't solve it.
And considering how circumstances were, I couldn't share anything with him even if I wanted to.
I also realised that I've had more than a few people who care for me since last year. Checking the texts from Shiraishi reminded me that I was dating her, and she was my girlfriend, despite how things were between us in the last few weeks.
It completely slipped off my mind as I was more focused on Moriko rather than Shiraishi.
I also had to think of different ways of capturing Moriko. But it would be rather easier this time now that Lilith could help me. Though it wasn't like she could actively take part in the event, otherwise, she wouldn't need an agent like me to carry out the work.
Our final period was dismissed and everyone was walking out of the class as I could hear the noise of students chattering coming from the hallway. I was sitting while staring towards the whiteboard as several thoughts were running wild in my mind.
"Listen…" I heard a familiar voice and soft tap on my shoulder and I turned and noticed Gaisen, "Hu… Yeah? What?"
"Did something between you and your girl?" He asked rather bluntly that I was caught off guard. I narrowed my eyes and replied, "Ahh… why would you think that?"
"You haven't been yourself today. Not today… I've noticed you and you haven't been yourself in a long time to be honest."
"Wha… what do you mean?" I was confused by his words as I glanced behind him and noticed Tsūmen staring at us, "This was Tsūmen's idea... wasn't it?
"Nothing… just me saying random bullshit, you know?" Gaisen laughed awkwardly while resting his arms on his waist as I sighed, "Come on… you know you can't lie to me."
"Yeah I told him to ask you that… because you are definitely hiding something." Tsūmen yelled from there and paced towards me with an annoyed look on his face, as I replied, "Don't worry, I'm fine… you know how I am, right?"
"Yeah… that's what worries me."
"You hide things and keep them inside you while suffering alone."
"You are definitely going through something but…"
"See, you can tell us if something's wrong." After listening to them for quite some while and knowing that they were genuinely worried about me, I ended up doing the stupidest thing.
"And?"
"What good will it do? Huh?"
"Will it solve my problem?"
"Can you solve my fucking problem, huh?"
I broke and directed my anger towards people who didn't deserve it.
I noticed them looking at me in awe and realised in that instant what I did. Lowering my gazes, I stood there till I felt a soft pat on my head as I looked up and noticed Gaisen chuckling, "We won't… it's not our place. But at least we could support you from behind the lines.
"I… what the…"
What was wrong with me?
"Do you not trust us enough to share your problems with us? Or it's just that you don't consider us close enough?"
I could feel the discord in Tsūmen's voice as he spoke those words.
"It's not like that."
"Then, what's your problem?" Gaisen asked, and I found myself outnumbered against two people determined to know what was going on with me.
Hiding from them won't be the wisest idea. That's why I decided to tell them a distorted truth.
"I told you… it's nothing. Just normal relationship problems."
As those words left my mouth, the smile on their faces faded away and their eyes relaxed with a look of disbelief on their faces. Tsūmen slowly said, "Bruh wha… I… I refuse to believe you."
"See… you wanted to know but now you're refusing to believe me." I chuckled while getting up and taking my bag.
"To be honest, I also think you're lying right now…" Gaisen said in his deep voice while staring into my eyes, "Don't get me wrong… I can't see you being troubled by a relationship. It's just that…"
"Yeah, me too… but look, here I am. Just like every other boy I made fun of." I cut him off and laughed as he continued, "It's been probably a month only and you two are already fighting?"
"I saw this coming, but it still is a pain in the ass." I replied while walking towards the door and added, "Nevermind… I don't wanna talk about it and ruin my mood."
"Let's head down then…" Gaisen said, but I knew that both of them weren't convinced by my story, but what I told them indeed had some truth to it. Things weren't the best between me and Shiraishi.
But I was glad that I told them about it since they would be less worried about me knowing it's not anything serious.
"By the way, can you send the notes of classes I missed?" I asked while heading out the door as Gaisen patted my back and smiled, "Yeah, sure dude."
"Ayy… you always got my back." I slung my arm around his shoulder and kept walking without saying anything further.
They got my back?
It was weird for me to say such a statement but it made me feel somewhat pleasant.
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