Chapter 1042 Two Sides of the Same Pain Part 2
They moved to Lith’s room and Phloria made sure to lock the door.
"Is it soundproof like the academy? Because I don’t know if we’ll manage to keep it civil." She asked.
"Yes, it is." Solus nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"Yesterday, I was too scared to think clearly. Between Baba Yaga, the traitors, and my impending death, the only thing I could focus on was survival. After I woke up, however, I had the time and peace of mind to think back at the story you told us.
"I noticed that you conveniently left Kamila out of it. Why?" She asked while clenching her hands with so much strength that they turned white.
"Solus and I met when I was four, while I met Kamila just over two years ago. She isn’t a mage nor an Awakened so she played little part in my life as a mage." Lith replied.
"Not that! What I’m asking you is: does she know?" Phloria snarled.
"I followed your advice and told her about me being a hybrid during our first anniversary. I told her about Awakening during my birthday, when I came clean with my family as well." Lith said.
"So, she doesn’t know about Solus, correct?"
"No, she doesn’t and so does my family. I never told anyone about her unless my hand was forced by the events or someone discovered her on their own. Scarlett the Scorpicore tried to kill her on their first meeting, so I became wary of our secret.
"Protector found out only because he shares my memories. Tista knows her because, just like you, without Solus’s help she would have died during her Awakening. Nalrond helped us against Dawn and Faluel knows only because Scarlett told her.
"Any other question?" Lith said.
"Yes, I’ve got plenty. Was she there during our first kiss? During our first date? Was she there when we shared our first night together or whenever I opened my heart to the boy who I considered both my friend and boyfriend?" Phloria paced around Lith like a predator, without ever taking her eyes off him.
"Yes, she was always there. At least at first. After things got serious, after our first night, she learned how to temporarily sever our physical link to give to you and me some privacy." Lith said.
"What do you mean, after things got serious? Was everything a joke to you until that point? Did the two of you really care so little about my feelings before we..."
"Don’t put words in my mouth, I never said anything like that." Lith cut her short. "Back then, we were both young and I never expected that you would care so much for me nor that in time I would come to return those feelings.
"You have no idea the kind of monster I was before meeting Solus. The things I did and that I would still do if it wasn’t for her. Solus pushed me to give us a chance because she liked you and wanted me to be happy.
"She has been my moral compass for years until I met you. You fixed me, never letting go of the smallest fragment of me every time I fell apart, but it was Solus who allowed me to never forget what’s like to be human.
"I know that you’re hurt and you’ve got all the rights to be angry, but don’t take it out on her. Put yourself in my shoes. I was the son of farmers, with a living artifact at my finger and the entirety of Mogar as my enemy.
"Everyone in the Kingdom knows about the Black Star and the lost cities. After meeting Scarlett, I understood that my worst fears didn’t even come close to how dire our situation was.
"I was a monster, she was a monster, but at least we were together. When you and I met, Solus was just a voice in my head. How could I possibly tell you that and expect you not considering me either raving mad or under the effects of a cursed item?
"Only later did we find that she could turn into a mage tower again, something that existed only in legends. Not only Solus was a priceless treasure, but she already was my best friend.
"After that, you and I became close, but that only made things more difficult. She can’t literally live without me and I can’t possibly introduce myself by saying:
"Hi, I’m Lith Verhen and there’s a girl living inside my head!" Lith found himself panting out of breath.
"Lith is right." Solus stepped forward, looking up to Phloria due to their height gap.
"For a long time, I’ve been nothing but a voice, oblivious of the ways of the world and as naïve as a child. He kept my existence hidden solely for two reasons. The first is that, unlike you, he doesn’t come from a pampered background.
"You act all high and mighty, but you know nothing about hunger, hardships, or loneliness. Lith- No, we were completely alone, even inside our own family. Our magic made us a target for the envy of our brothers and neighbors.
"Local nobles treated us like an oddity and we had to keep it that way because none of them would have left a powerful artifact in the hands of a ’filthy commoner’." Her voice lost its innate kindness by the word, replacing it with anger.
"The second reason is that even if Mogar was a fair place where nobles didn’t abuse their power, how could he possibly have a normal life if everyone knew about me?
"Lith would have been treated like a freak, just like you’re doing, because they wouldn’t understand the depth of our bond nor the boundaries that we voluntarily set to ensure our respective privacy.
"No girl would have dated him and no person would’ve hung out with him unless to exploit us. Telling the truth would’ve only meant sentencing Lith to a lifetime of isolation, just like me.
"You have no idea how terrible it feels when you can’t even talk to the people you love without scaring the shit out of them. I’ve been part of Lith’s family ever since he was four, yet I’m still a stranger to them.
"I depended on Lith to remain sane just as much he depended on me to remain human. Can you imagine how it feels to be able to see and hear, yet incapable of touching, speaking, or have the simplest human interaction?"
"For years I’ve been nothing but a voice in his head." Solus’s body disappeared and her Skinwalker armor fell to the ground. "My real voice could only be heard inside the tower."
"Then, I became a wisp. The most useless, pathetic imitation of life." Her wisp form appeared and Solus moved through the room, the furniture, and even through Phloria.
The feeling of the ethereal body phasing through her made Phloria shudder.
"I was still unable to taste, to touch anything but Lith." Solus’s wisp rested between his arms, like she once used to do.
"No matter how many marvels Mogar had to offer or how many people I wanted to befriend, his hands were my world and his heart was my sun. During those moments we spent together in the tower, I finally felt like a real person."
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