The Innkeeper

Chapter 1682: Boblings

Lex resumed his studies on Abaddon, but they did not spend long within the blood rain. Something peculiar happened when they entered the blood rain – the flow of time in Abaddon became exactly the same as the Midnight realm.

The same had happened in the jungle, so Lex began to suspect that if they entered just locations within Abaddon, it would always affect the flow of time. Such a thing was not good for any of them – though the Reaving Dread did not seem to mind as much.

Lex, though, would prefer to come back to the Inn as quickly as possible. While there existed a possibility that he might spend a few decades within Abaddon, it would be best if only a short time had passed within the Midnight realm.

So they left. While the area with the blood rain was filled with treasures that could help him, so was the rest of Abaddon, so no one minded.

They faced obstacles, and not just a few. They faced enemies, and during their respite from those enemies they faced locusts. The Dark Knight made another appearance, and It came every night.

Amidst the constant fight for their life, they occasionally also encountered strange oddities and unusual sights. They encountered no ruins, or anything like that, though once they saw a citadel far off on the horizon. Its mere presence radiated such immense danger that they all turned back and headed in the opposite direction. That was not something mere immortals could explore.

Like this, with new adventures and dangers abound, days, weeks and even months went by. The only thing that any of them were grateful for was that they did not encounter another event where new souls were sucked into Abaddon.

During this entire time, Lex constantly kept an eye on the Inn, as well as members of Obsidian for anyone who could help them speed up their process in any way, but found nothing. Sending things to Abaddon was easier said than done, and even the rhinocentaurs failed in this task.

*****

“Yes, two more scoops of icecream on the pancake please,” Skipping said in his sleep, a wide grin on his face. If one were to see him at that moment, they would discover that he seemed like he was having the best dream, and didn’t look like he would be waking up any time soon.

His system sent him a notification for he had missed several days of shopping, but he ignored it. Unfortunately, Skipping would soon learn that one does not just ignore their system – a lesson he had already learned and forgotten too many times.

*****

“’Nay, it cannot be,’ they whispered in the dead of night. But it was. It was,” said a Bobling – a name fondly adopted by members of the Bob fan club.

“No, it lacks feeling. You’re lacking a certain oomph,” said the second Bobling who was judging the performance of the first. “You need to make me feel it.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” said the first as he began to scratch something off from a script in his hand.

“For the love of Bob, will you two knock it off and help me put out this fire?” roared a third Bobling as he sprayed a fire extinguisher at the roaring flames spreading across the sails.

Behind them, the Jolly Rancher was in a fire fight against thirteen vessels who were shooting lasers, cannons, spiritual techniques and everything else they could. Unfortunately, the hull of the Rancher was not easily breached.

That was exactly why another dozen ships had decided to board the ship and forcefully wrest control away from Jack.

It almost seemed like all of the Artica realm was conspiring against them, and it kind of was. Like, it was legit confirmed that they were conspiring against them because Bob had basically announced at breakfast that it would take the efforts of the whole realm to mildly inconvenience their Captain.

Well, he was definitely inconvenienced now, though the scale of it was up to debate.

The two Boblings looked at the third, then at the fire, and then at the dozens of enemies who had boarded the ship and were fighting the crew.

“You know, I think it’s the sour jawbreakers. They just curl the tongue in a certain way, perfect for monologuing,” said Bobling 1 as he picked up a bucket and threw water at the flaming sails.

“That’s an interesting theory. I will propose it at next week’s gathering,” said Bobling 2 as he held out his leg and tripped a running beast.

“Amitabha, next week’s gathering should have fresh barbecue, or I will kick you all off the ship,” said Monk, the bear cub as he used his sharp claws to shave off the head of the ship’s attackers, leaving them all bald.

“Can you all focus? We need to find the captain and get out of here,” exclaimed Ollie, possibly the only sane member of the crew.

“I agree with Ollie,” said Tiny-Sparkles, standing atop his mount – a medium sized hippo. Well, technically the hippo was one of the ship’s invaders, but since he made a good mount for Tiny-Sparkles, no one had the heart to tell him that this was slavery and that was frowned upon.

“The captain went out with Bob, so in his absence, I will fill in,” exclaimed Pebbles who had all his limbs today, but had an upside down bucket instead of a head. Naturally, since he didn’t actually have lips, and couldn’t actually speak, no one really heard him, and only saw him posing.

“How about we put out the damn fire before discussing this?” roared Bobling 3 as he turned the fire extinguisher from the sail towards himself. His hair had caught on fire now, and no one else seemed to care.

“Speaking of missing people, has anyone seen Longbeard?” asked Bobling 1.

The question had no sooner been asked that the crew saw Goldilocks flying through the air attacking ships, with only the ends of a beard tying it and keeping it attached to the ship.

“Never mind, I think I found him.”

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