The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound

The small diced pieces of medium-rare walrus sirloin were vacuumed up by the preying mantises so quickly that Demetrius didn’t get a single piece. The old Nether Herald released a good-natured chuckle and took a step back. Even Randidly was surprised by how much their neighbors had pounced upon the plate; the lion’s share had been swept up by the old woman, but her two grandchildren had also gotten in a few bites.

Randidly could practically see the calculating going on behind the short preying mantis’s eyes. She rounded on him. “Why were the inside and the outside cooked differently? How is such a thing possible?”

Randidly just smiled.

“Tsk, if you weren’t this miserly, I suppose you couldn’t really call yourself a Nether King,” She clicked her mandibles. Her grandchildren cried out in dismay at the disrespectful tone, but she just charged forward. “Okay, let’s negotiate a little. Eight bottles of apple juice and… no, five bottles of apple juice and five pounds of that meat.”

“I harvested a land walrus for that meat. They are big, but five pounds of that cut are unrealistic,” Randidly lied through his teeth. His face showed a mixture of disappointment and sorrow. “That portion is called the sirloin, cut from the top of the back. There are five pounds of loin remaining, but the meat there is much fattier. And if you want the meat, you can’t seriously expect to get so much of the apple juice. Two bottles of juice, two pounds of meat.”

“You forget the other part of our deal: a chance to experience our precious Zhixu. I’ll even throw in some seeds, although a roughshod farmer like you- ahem, please, try some before we continue.” She clicked her jaws and gestured. One of her grandchildren brought over one of the tubes and sliced it open, revealing a dull orange interior that began to ooze out as soon as it was cut.

Randidly dipped a finger into the mixture and tried it. Immediately, his face brightened, despite the consistency of a smooshed banana. The combination of flavors was unfamiliar to him, but the best way he could describe it was making peanut butter from sweet potatoes. He took another finger full and offered it to Demetrius. The interior was smooth, creamy, and mildly sweet.

Damn, I wonder if actual bananas would grow here. This with bananas would be an excellent sandwich; wait, do they have bread for making sandwiches? Ugh, so many things to investigate… Randidly’s eyes glittered. Then he looked again at the small preying mantis. But if nothing else, making the deal will be worth it to get into business with this woman. She seems very familiar with the farming in the area.

“Okay, you win, five bottles of cider, five pounds of meat, so long as you accept loin. In exchange for a few of these and some seeds.” Randidly smiled. The old woman twisted to the side and covered her mandibles with a thin arm, as she not-so-subtly cackled with glee. Probably, she thought she really tricked him. Perhaps the Zhixiu fruit was as hard to grow as she seemed to imply.

The two shook on the deal, settling on a five percent commission on all sales. The old woman nodded and returned to her seat after Randidly passed over the agreed-upon price. “Great dealing with you, Nether King Hungry Eye. I’m Gretite. One of these two idiots will man your stand. Anything you want them to know, better teach them. They are a little thick, but that was just the upbringing of their parents. Their genes are good.”

They went over the prices briefly, but Randidly’s favorite part was telling the preying mantis kid to throw in a few pieces of freshly cooked steak with every purchase. Then he produced a massive ice box and dumped a full ton of meat into it. Gretite began twitching and muttering about deceitful creatures of Nether, but Randidly magnanimously ignored her harsh words.

The only difficulty was making sure the preying mantis cooked the meat for the right amount of time, but he swiftly got the knack. If nothing else, he gave a recommended time per side. Then Randidly and Demetrius departed, leaving the stand and hopefully no longer dissuading individuals from trying to buy their stuff. The other stall owners in that lane watched them depart with obvious relief on their faces.

“Will we seek vengeance?” Demetrius asked when they had safely dissolved in the crowds. The Nether Herald’s jovial manner had completely vanished. His eyes were bottomless pools of darkness. “For her disrespect?”

Randidly glanced at Demetrius. He took a second look surprised by the sudden shift. “I had no idea you were so bloodthirsty.”

“I cannot deny she rubs me the wrong way,” Demetrius replied with a wry smile. “But to be fair, you are an unusual Nether King. I just wanted to make sure. Most would have ripped her to shreds just from her tone.”

“If she knows the local flora, she will be useful. Besides, I don’t think we’d be able to hide me murdering the owner of the stall next to us. Let it go. Everyone has their own circumstances,” Randidly replied. Then he pointed through the crowd; a group of individuals not wearing robes but instead wearing blue uniforms walked through a side tunnel out away from the market area. “Those individuals. What are they doing? Who are they?”

“Ah? We have good timing.” Demetrius replied. “Those are players upon a Hobfootie team. Probably a game is about to start. I have not seen one in person. Would you like to watch, my liege? I’ve heard they are quite exciting.”

*****

Demetrius sat beside the forgiving and mild Nether King, furiously studying the field of play in front of him. His attention to detail was quite impressive, as both teams stretched and warmed up their bodies. The crowd around them was raucous, despite the game having not even started; such was their fixation upon the action of the game, they didn’t even notice two powerful Nether individuals sitting in their midst.

The lack of attention was honestly a nice break. Amongst the noise in the rickety wooden stands, it was nice to be anonymous.

Demetrius knew a little about the rules of Hobfootie: First, the teams were quite large, consisting of thirty individuals spreading across three zones that made up the rectangular field. Usually, teams split their squad evenly, putting ten in each zone, but there were no hard rules. During the every-ten-minute intermissions, you could adjust your distribution as needed. Furthermore, every participant hadn’t yet condensed a Class. They relied only on the base energy of their bodies to compete, which limited their growth immensely and acted as a great equalizer.

The first and third zones were split by the second, which was a giant circle in the middle of the rectangle. Its edges pressed up against the sides of the larger area. Demetrius watched a few athletic-looking Feathered Serpents passing an oblong ball back and forth to themselves as they warmed up. Once in a zone, individuals couldn’t leave; they were stuck there until an intermission unless they were eliminated.

Skills and abilities were allowed to be used freely, so long as one didn’t have the oblong ball, called the plum, in hand. Fights were usually occurring rather constantly, which resulted in the eventual attrition of most of the players. Which was why redistribution during the intermissions was important, so a team could rally.

But of the zones, the central circle was most important. Because when the oblong ball was kicked from the central zone, passed a certain height, and caught by a member of the same team in one of the side zones, that was how a team scored points. Each catch was worth five points.

Aside from the oblong ball, there were two spherical balls called crushers. These were covered with specialty Engravings that added acceleration and weight to them when they were thrown. Currently, an official was inspecting them on the far side of the field, prior to the match. To a regular individual in the Nexus, these crushers weren’t a problem. But to individuals without a Class, a properly thrown crusher could pulp limbs and eliminate opponents. Crushers could be thrown at anyone but was only worth points if you hit a member of the opposite team in a different zone from where you threw. And throws could only be made while the plum was being kicked into the air.

The moments where the oblong ball tumbled upward were the tensest and exciting in Hobfootie, as you watched to see if you could catch your team’s kick for five points while also hoping you wouldn’t be absolutely blindsided by a crusher in the back.

“It’s about to begin,” Demetrius said lightly. The two teams stood opposite each other around the central circle and sang a song. On one side red uniforms, on the other blue. Then the plum was taken by a referee and taken to a tub of pulped Ara Fruit. The ball was dropped in and coated thoroughly.

A roar echoed from the far end of the field, as the bars lifted and allowed a two-story-tall Arakis Beast to rumble out onto the field. This particular specimen had mean eyes and a spiked tail that swung behind it. It was large enough to devour all of the Arakis Beasts that had settled on Jotem’s farm with the group. It had clearly been featured in Hobfootie for a long time and liked it too. It relished the role of equalizer. Those mean eyes fixated on the plum, but then it moved sideways to the players.

A game of Hobfootie ended when the Arakis Beast caught and crushed the plum. But there was a balancing act for the Arakis Beast- it would receive double the amount of Ara Fruit as a reward if it delayed the end of the game until only thirty players remained in the game. Even if teams would gladly take a small lead and then give the ball to Arakis Beasts to end the match, only the newest and most poorly trained would do it.

Most would just toss the ball outside of the arena, where none of the players could go get it without forfeiting, and then savor the slaughter of the players.

The referee blew a whistle and tossed the ball up into the air. The blue and red teams both sprinted to their areas, both teams favoring a twelve-person central presence, while the outer zones each had nine. The Arakis Beast began to walk forward slowly, the players around it giving it a wide berth.

“The beast can eliminate players as well,” Demetrius nodded to the massive creature. “And- my liege, is everything alright?”

The Nether King had gone slightly pale and had a strained expression on his face. He forced an awkward smile on his features. His hands tightly gripped his knees. “Everything’s fine. It’s just… I recognize one of the players.”

Demetrius nodded in confusion and turned back to the match. The red team had the plum and blue team were firing fire darts at the ball holder’s feet to destroy his footing. Two blue players charged forward but two red players came up to block them. They met and began feinting and jabbing, trying to position themselves in the best way. With that little bit of breathing room, the ball holder planted and kicked the plum up into the area.

Quietly, furious fights had been occurring in the left and right zones, where the crushers started. Unfortunately for red team, blue team had won both of these melees. With the plum up in the air, two members of the blue team whipped their accelerated balls at red players. The individual at zone one speared a red player in the circular zone in the back, cracking their spine and eliminating them. However, comeuppance was swift; the shouted warnings of his teammates came too late. The thrower turned around to find the Arakis Beast grinning down at him. He couldn’t dodge the claw that ripped open his stomach and sent him spiraling through the air.

One point for blue, although both teams lost an individual to injury.

Meanwhile, the second blue thrower didn’t even attempt to target an opponent in another zone. He whipped his crusher at the young woman going up to catch the plum. At the last moment, she pirouetted and conjured a Mana Shield. The crusher destroyed the defense but was redirected enough to miss. She caught the plum and landed, her long crimson hair fluttering around her.

Five points for red, one for blue. Both lost one individual.

She tossed the plum to a Blue player, as they had just scored. The rules stipulated that the opposite team must trade a crusher for the plum if they had it, but they just received one of the crushers, since they were both just thrown.

Yet the weirdest part was that after receiving the crusher, the young woman raised her head and looked toward the stands. Directly at Nether King Hungry Eye. Then the brutal game resumed.

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