The Legend of William Oh

William Oh is a master of the reverse-ambush. He once slept on a giant spring-trap and it made him breakfast in bed.

• Jason Salazar

Will’s eyes snapped open to the sound of an explosion.

In the dim starlight that filtered through the ornate windows, Will saw a steel blade sink through the mattress above directly in front of his face.

“Traps!”

“He’s not here!”

ZZZ

The hiss of drawn blades and flashes of light from Abilities filled the room as Will struggled to catch up with what was going on.

The bed bucked in place as someone was slammed violently into it.

I can’t sit this out, Will thought, cursing himself for not sleeping in full gear.

He peeked out from under the bed and spotted Loth facing off against no less than five men wrapped in black clothes.

Will grabbed the tomahawk under his pillow and slammed it into the heel of one of the enemies.

The man let out a bloodcurdling shriek and Loth took the opportunity to send an attack in his direction. The beetle bored a hole through the man’s shoulder before it split into five, targeting everyone who remained.

One it killed, while the others managed to avoid it.

One of them seemed to turn into some kind of liquid metal, causing the attack to bounce off, another simply resisted it, while another slapped the bug out of the air with their hand.

Oh crap.

They were already looking at where his axe had emerged from his hidey-hole.

Will pushed his feet up against the frame of the bed and thrust, sliding himself out from under the massive four-poster as quickly as he could.

The bed exploded into a cloud of down as three attacks eviscerated the mattress.

One dead, three whole, one wounded, Will thought, sending his Phantom hand toward the wounded one while he danced backwards, trying to prevent them from surrounding him while giving Loth the opportunity to shoot one or more in the back.

The wounded one fished out a potion, as one does when they’ve been wounded.

Will stole it out of the man’s grip with the phantom hand as he ducked the liquid metal attacker’s arm-blade.

Phantom Hand

25/29 Charges Remaining.

A burst of pain traveled through Will as the speedy one unleashed a series of thrown weapons, half of which buried themselves in Will’s left leg.

Ow.

Crack!

The wounded one, staring at his now-empty hand, was struck in the head by Travis, dropping him twitching to the floor.

Jingle Jangle!The decoy’s distinctive tassel-covered whip drew their enemy’s attention against their will, allowing William to slide out of the way of the follow-up Coup de Grace. ṘÁƝȏBĘS

“Oh look, amateur assassins.” Travis said, his voice grating, demanding that they punch him.

The liquid metal one swooped toward Travis, his body turning into a streamlined spike.

The fast one’s bangle glowed with Charge and the weird, star-shaped bits of metal tugged themselves out of Will’s leg and flew back into his attacker’s hand.

Will gasped with pain, vision going wonky and skin turning cold as his leg started leaking like a sieve.

Will’s vision of the fast one was blocked as the bulkiest one stepped in front of him, reaching down with a ham-fist.

I’m gonna call you Bulk, Will thought, releasing the stolen potion from his Phantom Hand directly into his mouth.

Sourdough

24/29 Charges remaining.

The stolen healing potion must’ve had a little something extra to it, because Will felt like he was flung from a slumped sitting position into a feral, battering-at-your-face-with-an-axe attack before he even knew what was happening.

“You little-“ Bulk grunted, his eyes widening at the sudden turnaround.

Bulk flung Will off his face, the flurry of hits from the tomahawk bouncing off of him…except for the last few that nicked Bulk a little.

“He’s debuffing us!” Fasty said, pointing at the axe.

Will was too busy worrying about whether the dresser had broken his spine to stop Bulk from grabbing his hand and wrenching the Tomahawk out of it.

Will used the leverage to lunge up and kicked Bulk right in his masked face.

It didn’t do much, since Will wasn’t wearing shoes.

Will’s vision went white for an instant as a massive fist snapped his head to the side, the other locked around his wrist.

Will tried to bite the man’s finger’s off, but just wound up getting punched and kicked around the midsection. He turtled up and tried to shield his face with his truncated arm, but without the actual hand there wasn’t much he could do to break out of the hold.

Will thought he’d turned the tables when he managed to deliver a solid kick to Bulk’s crotch, but the man – presumably a Tank Archetype – simply grunted and continued delivering brutal strikes to any portion Will was unable to block.

Will caught a moment between fists and launched a sling bullet directly into the man’s eye from his Phantom Hand. The eye started smoking merrily as the Greater Sting Ring did its job, but Bulk didn’t even seem to register it, instead slipping his fist past Will’s elbow and knees to deliver a brutal punch to the side of Will’s ribs.

Creak!

His ribs didn’t break because if anything, Resourceful Climber was a tough bastard of a Class, but Will was fairly sure the bruise would be impressive.

I need a way out of here, I need to-

SHHHHH

Boom!

Bulk staggered forward violently as a thunderclap shoved him forward. In the dim light, Will could see an arrowhead emerge from Bulk’s shoulder.

Boom!

Boom!

Bulk released Will as he was knocked around the room by arrows had had no right to cause that much stagger, the second and third arrow lighting him on fire.

“What happened to Seven?” Fast asked, ducking behind some furniture while Will got some distance, sprinting towards his mask, which he’d set on a cabinet rather than wear to sleep, like an idiot.

“They’re gone!” Mercury said peering out the shattered window, mouth momentarily turning back to human to speak.

Will had never seen anyone get shot in the jaw by exploding arrows before, nor did he want to again.

Bulk was down, Mercury was trying to hold his jaw together, and Fast was huddled behind some furniture.

Did the odds switch that fast? Will thought, slapping the goat mask down over his face.

Loth caught Will’s attention with a wave and pointed to Fast, then the door leading to the main hall.

Send her there, she seemed to be saying.

Gravity Charge.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

23/29 Charges Remaining.

Will targeted The Phantom hand and began falling through the room at a zig-zag, both to avoid arrows and to hopefully avoid any thrown weapons from Mr. retrieve-my-thrown-weapons-bangle.

A cluster of those metal stars flew past Will as he charged toward Fast, barely able to avoid them by narrowing his profile.

Fast was forced out from behind the cover of the furniture by Travis, who attacked with his dual-striking shortsword, which was currently switched to offence.

Fast ducked out of the way of the obligatory arrow from the shattered window, holding out a hand towards Will while holding off Travis with the other.

Will only put it together Fast’s aim at the last second, metal stars grazing his back as he swerved out of the way.

Fast lunged towards Travis, who had overcommitted to offense.

Travis reeled back desperately, parried one attack with his whip while his phantom shortsword parried the one he didn’t see coming from Fast’s hidden weapon in his foot.

Will barreled forward, and simply took a throwing star to his left arm to get where he wanted to be: pushing Fast towards the door to the main hall.

Fast caught Will’s attacks, but his wrist wobbled a bit as the Serpent’s axe began wearing away at his strength. He danced backwards as Travis lunged forward with a stab, then swerved out of the way of another arrow from the window.

Fast surveyed the ruined room and bolted for the main hall.

SNAP!

A trap went off as Fast tried to leave the room, a simple rope whipping across the hall and shattering Fast’s kneecaps.

Will pursued, eager to take advantage of Fast’s injury.

Fast tumbled, but managed to whip out a healing potion and down it before he even touched the ground, leaping back to his feet without losing a beat.

Damnit, Will thought, flying into the hall and beginning to chase Fast, who was sprinting past the other rooms at full speed.

BOOM!

An arrow shot through the wall and caught Fast in the side, shoving him violently into the wall as it exploded with thunder damage.

Boom Boom BOOM!

Three more arrows perforated Fast, and he burst into flames, corpse smouldering.

“…Well, okay then,” Will said, aiming to slide his axe back in his belt-loop before he realized he was in his underwear.

Will ran back to his room, where Mercury was already dead, perforated by Loth’s bugs.

As he scanned the destruction, Will asked the obvious question.

“So…what was that about?” Will asked, plucking the throwing star out of his arm while Loth went out into the hallway.

“I’m not sure,” Travis said, eyeballing the shattered window and the rooftops beyond it.

They were on the third floor so whoever had supported them had to have been up there.

“But hey, I know a great place in the Ring to get custom underwear,” Travis said, pointing down at Will’s homespun undies. “Soft as a mother’s love, perfect fit, and best of all…no lint.”

“Sold,” Will said, stepping out from behind the obstructing wall and giving the surroundings a wave and a thumb’s up.

He didn’t know if the mystery archer would take the opportunity to kill him, but it had to be better than listening to Travis criticize his underwear.

Part of him would rather die, while the other part knew he should take every advantage where he could get it, even if it was underwear.

It was just his Party member’s tone that made Will wanna smack ‘em, and that was probably a side-effect of his Class…probably.

Will saw a distant shape begin moving towards them from the rooftops.

It was lightly armored, with a familiar bow over its shoulder.

No…

The figure jumped from the nearest rooftop, up and into the room.

Yes.

“William Oh?” Alicia Zodiac asked, scanning Will and the rest of the room, gaze lingering on the perforated corpses with a hint of satisfaction.

The archer had piercing blue eyes that seemed to glow with an internal light, and brilliant blonde hair in a bob-cut that nearly reached her shoulders.

“That’s me.”

She scanned him with a critical eye that made Will feel like a bug pinned to the wall.

“You’ll do. I’m joining your Party.” She said.

Resurrection: 10000 Gold. Will remembered the price the temple of Andover quoted with a wince.

She stared at him.

He stared at her.

“Send me an invite.” She said, as one might speak to a child.

“…Why are you joining my Party?”

“I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with the man who saved me,” She said in monotone.

“That’s a lie,” Will said.

“Father said that would work,” Alicia mused, staring at the ground, burning a hole in the fancy rug with her blue-flame eyes.

“You’re not supposed to say it out loud.” Travis chimed in.

“Ah.” Alicia said, glancing up as Loth re-entered the room from the hallway.

“Drink this.” Loth said, offering Will a vial.

Will uncorked it and drank.

“What did I just drink?” Will asked, grimacing at the acrid flavor.

“The antidote to the poison on the throwing stars,” Loth said, glancing up at Alicia’s blue-flame eyes.

“Ah, Alicia Zodiac.” Loth said. Travis gasped, his eyes widening.

“Kobold.”

“Loth.” Loth said, tapping herself.

“Loth,” Alicia repeated quietly, her unnerving gaze lingering on Loth for a moment before returning to Will’s face.

“Send me an invite.” She repeated.

“I’ll ask again: Why?” Will asked.

“Why? WHY!?” Travis demanded. “One does not ask a Zodiac Why? Just do what she tells you!”

Will didn’t budge. Just waited.

“Because I died, I can no longer be a Lord, drastically diminishing my value to Father. To avoid being pushed into a political marriage, I decided to act as a liaison to William Oh’s Party, seeing as many of our goals align. Including but not limited to the eradication of the Wyrd Family.”

“How do you know we’re opposed to the Wyrd family?” Will asked.

“They’re responsible for the Tangled. In your letter stapled to my coffin, you said, ‘If yur the Lord who tried to have his Vasals feed me to yur wyrd secret arm-monster, better luck next time. If yur not…Were you aware another lord has wyrd arm-monster pets heer? on 2nd floor? Fud for thot’

Loth winced as Alicia spoke the letter from memory, the poor spelling somehow reflected in her speech.

“You’ve already been marked for death by the Wyrd family, and given his natural inclination to oppose them, Father found it amusing to allow me to assist you in continuing to be a thorn in their side, and I found that to be preferable to being retired from Climbing.”

“Was this the Wyrd Family?” Will asked, gesturing to the assassins scattered around the room. Assassins who hadn’t snapped his neck when they’d had the opportunity.

Kidnappers, perhaps? Will thought. It didn’t fit the ‘marked for death’ statement made by the archer, though.

“I don’t know,” Alicia said with a shrug before her blue-flame gaze rose back to his face.

“Send me an invite.”

Will shrugged and did so.

Alicia Zodiac has joined the Party!

Alicia Zodiac

Devastating Artillery Level 12

36 +12 Strength

36 +4 Kinesthetics

12 +3 Resistance

24 +19 Focus

48 +12 Acuity

Charges: 40/43

Free Points: 0

Primary Abilities: Rain of Arrows*, Penetrating Gaze*.

Secondary Abilities: Giantslayer

“Why is your Resistance so low?” Will asked.

“Taking hits isn’t my job.” Alicia said with a shrug.

“You literally died,” Will pointed out.

“The Tank was bought off by Mark Wyrd. That never should’ve happened.”

“Yeah, but…what if you get into a situation where you don’t have a Tank?” Will asked.

“No rational person would Climb without a Tank,” Alicia said, Travis nodding enthusiastically along with her.

“…Right, but what if the Tank falls off a cliff, or gets thrown out of reach or…someone buys them off…as a random, nonspecific example?”

Alicia’s eye twitched, her lips twisting into a frown as she stared at the floor.

She might be more sheltered than I thought, Will thought.

“Also, we don’t have a Tank.” Will said, drawing that intense gaze back to him.

“Why?”

“Because I’m not rich?” Will said. “Or at least I wasn’t until recently. Normal people can’t afford to pay others to get wounded for them.”

Alicia went silent, staring at him.

“Out of curiosity, what does Penetrating Gaze do?” Loth changed the subject.

“I can see through walls.” Alicia said, her blue-fire eyes glowing in the dim light.

That explains the glow. And how she shot Fast through the wall.

“All of you look like skeletons surrounded by ghostly flesh,” Alicia continued, her gaze wandering back down to the floor.

Will’s brows rose.

“More importantly, if you want to learn what these people were up to, I subdued their fire-support over there,” she said, pointing off towards the dim city rooftops. “They’re still tied up, but they seem to be trying to escape.”

Will couldn’t see anything through the dark and distance.

“Can you bring them here?” Will asked. “I need to put on some clothes.”

“You’re not wearing clothes!?” Alicia asked, her glowing eyes widening.

“Does it matter to you?” Will asked, cocking his head.

“He’s wearing underwear, if that helps.” Loth offered.

“R-right. Be right back.” Alicia said turning away, shoulders tight.

“Travis, go help her,” Will said. “She could die to a stiff breeze.”

“On it!” Travis said, jumping through the window after the archer.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Will turned back to Loth.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“I think the benefits outweigh the costs. I believe her father truly sent her to Climb with us in order to break her bad habits, more than he believes we pose any threat to the Wyrd family.”

“Mhmm,” Will nodded along.

“Seeing how Travis leaps to kowtow to her every whim and you don’t, I believe it’s not simply male instinct, but drilled into him by his social status, which is apparently dwarfed by hers. There are likely myriad ways to leverage her presence in your Party to our advantage. Association with a powerful family foremost among them.”

“…And barring everything else, her damage output is nothing to scoff at. Having her in the party would allow me to spend less Charge on direct damage and focus on my primary role of command and control.”

Will snapped his fingers as a bolt of inspiration shot through him.

“I’ve already thought of a way to use her.”

A moment later, Travis and Alicia returned with a squirming kidnapper in black, tied up with arrows through each of their limbs.

“Hi there,” Will said, tugging the kidnapper’s mask off to reveal a plain looking man with short hair and brown eyes.

“I don’t suppose you could tell me why you attacked me in the middle of the night?” Will asked.

“Even if I wanted to I wouldn’t, you monster,” The man said with a surprising amount of vitriol.

“So, which church are you with?” Will asked, squatting down beside the man.

The man’s eyes went wide.

“You see, you’re too mad at me to be a mercenary. Too emotionally invested to be the vassal to some Lord with a grudge against me. It was personal for you, acquired through the transitive property of brainwashing…did I use that one right?” Will asked Loth, who waggled a hand with a shrug.

“Since you’re not a mercenary or a Vassal, but you were sent by an organization that can fund half a dozen Climbers to kidnap one person, you must be from an organized religion. The question is, which one?”

“Since you’re not trying to scam me, it can’t be Andover, Lumesh priests don’t pick sides, so that leaves Holdna and Granesh.”

At ‘Granesh’ the man’s eye twitched.

“Okay, so what does the church of Granesh want with me?” Will asked, hefting his tomahawk. “I can arrange for you to make it out of this alive.”

“To the Abyss with you,” the black-clothed kidnapper spat before his eyes rolled back in his head and he died.

Will poked the body a couple times. Must have a Death Contract.

“Huh. That was odd. We should get out of here before the staff starts asking questions.”

“This Inn is very discreet, actually.” Travis said. “They don’t ask questions.”

“Oh. Huh.” Will shrugged. “Still, we’re on a time-crunch. Where’s the nearest major military arm of Granesh? Where they might’ve launched a kidnapping attempt from?”

“What are you planning on doing?” Loth asked with a frown.

“Infiltrating.” Will said with a shrug before turning back to Travis and Alicia. “I’ve got a job for you two.”

Will grabbed a piece of paper and pen from the nearby toppled over table, jotting down his instructions for them while he and Loth figured out what was behind the attack.

“There, take care of that, and meet us on the 2nd Floor.” Will said, handing Alicia the paper.

“…I can’t read this,” Alicia said.

“Because you can’t see the ink?” Will asked.

“…No.”

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