Chapter 42: Minor Rejuvenation Pill
Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon
“Ding! This set of robes has been naturally tailored for you. It uses silk of Mount Numinous’ Spirit Silkworms. It is no ordinary Spirit Silk at that, but Spirit Silk that was chosen from the finest of all. The first centimeter produced is the strongest and also the easiest to be imbued with Buddha’s grace.
Just the search for such Spirit Silkworms takes a decade! Then, it’s painstakingly embroidered by Buddhist sages segment by segment to form a complete piece of silk thread, before it is sewn into clothes. This takes an additional decade. The robe is warm in the winter and cooling during the summer. It’s impervious to damage, waterproof, fireproof, stainless and spotless! You will not sink when you jump into water and when in a fire, there will be a Spirit Aura protecting you, preventing you from getting burned. In addition, this robe will enhance your presence to its full potential, improving your personal charm. Also, it’s something meant for lazy people like you. It never needs cleaning. This robe of yours is simply priceless.”
“Good! Good! Great! Hahaha!” Fangzheng had understood that the System’s products were definitely extraordinary. Just any one of them was an excellent item that had no parallel in the world.
However, Fangzheng did not give up hope as he asked, “You said it’s priceless. Can it be sold? If I can exchange it for a city, our temple will truly be palatial.”
“No! Whatever long-term item the System gives can only be used by the Host. It cannot be given to anyone else.”
Fangzheng was rendered helpless. A method that could save the country and make it rich was set aside just like that. However, he was not saddened by it. Regardless of everything, he had gotten a good deal just by obtaining the robe alone.
“You still have one more chance at the draw. Do you want it?”
“Yes! Give me a spanking good one!” Fangzheng was behaving mischievous once again.
“Ding! Congratulations, you have obtained a Minor Rejuvenation Pill.”
“Eh? A Minor Rejuvenation Pill? What’s that? Is it the kind of stuff that will greatly increase my powers after consumption?” Fangzheng was somewhat taken aback. The pill’s name sounded familiar, but he had forgotten what it was used for.
“Ding! The Minor Rejuvenation Pill can rejuvenate a corpse’s flesh and bones after consumption.”
“So powerful? Then if I were to dig up someone’s ancestral grave, will I be able to revive someone’s ancestor? When the time comes, I will revive the person’s ancestor if I get bullied. They might not get scolded to death, but it would at least scare them to death!” Fangzheng thought sinisterly.
“You are overthinking things. The description of the Minor Rejuvenation Pill is somewhat exaggerated. According to the diseases your world is currently facing, all of these diseases can be removed using this pill. As for reviving the dead, you can forget about it,” said the System in contempt.
Fangzheng grinned. Indeed, he had overthought things. However, he said disgruntledly, “It’s all your fault. If it’s not that great, why did you brag about it in such a manner? Fake advertisements are a scam.”
System: “23$#@...%”
System: “Do you want to receive the Minor Rejuvenation Pill?”
“Yes! Why not? I might not ever have children in my entire life, so I definitely need to receive this Minor Rejuvenation Pill,” Fangzheng mumbled as an exquisite red box appeared in his hand. The kind of wood used to manufacture it was unknown to him, but it felt heavy. There were golden mosaics along its surface.
When Fangzheng opened it, he exclaimed. There was a pill the size of a marble in the box. It was crimson, and there were similar golden patterns engraved on it. It looked extremely pretty!
“System, are you sure you didn’t give me the wrong item? Why does it look like the marbles I used to play with when I was young?” Fangzheng was talking nonsense in a matter-of-fact manner.
However, he was ignored by the System.
Fangzheng was accustomed to it. He stored the Minor Rejuvenation Pill carefully, as this was something that could save lives. Fangzheng even had nefarious thoughts, “With this, I won’t even need to be afraid of AIDS. When I find a wife in the future, wouldn’t it mean that I can do it raw any time I want?”
When Fangzheng thought of this, his pubescent heart stirred. He immediately recited Amitabha twice to calm himself down. In the rural mountains, there weren’t any girls, but there was a wolf. If he did not control himself properly, he might even do something unspeakable to the wolf. He might be too ashamed to look others in the eye if that happened.
When he thought of that, Fangzheng asked, “System, I’m still a young lad, and I’m full of pubescent energy. If I can’t control myself, can I hire someone to help me clean the pipes?”
“Sure,” replied the System.
“Really?” Fangzheng was immediately overjoyed. The System was actually giving his ‘children’ a way out! He was instantly delighted.
However!
“Ding! The outcome would be a permanent erectile dysfunction.”
Fangzheng’s smile stiffened as he cursed inwardly, “F*ck you!” He also was aware that the darn System wasn’t going to give him a chance for a break.
Since he had finished his chances at the draw, he had nothing else left to do. His spirits had been dampened by the System, making him lose all of his passion immediately.
Hence, he went to sleep.
The moon set as the sun rose.
Fangzheng got up, washed up and practiced a set of the Great Strength Vajra Palm. He finished his usual chores of cleaning the temple after having breakfast. Fangzheng took out his cell phone and surfed the Internet in boredom. However, his crappy cell phone could no longer run any software. Browsing websites took time, sometimes even minutes. Simultaneously, the battery was beginning to lose its charge. Fangzheng did not dare to charge the phone as he used the phone. It was not that he was afraid that he would be the first monk to be killed by a cell phone’s explosion in history. Instead, he was worried for the phone. It was said that charging while using the cell phone was rather harsh on the battery. He only had this tool for external communication. It could not get spoiled or he would truly become a savage in the mountains.
Soon, his cell phone was out of battery.
Fangzheng switched off the phone to charge it and ignored it.
As it was almost noon, he ate lunch and felt bored once again.
He read some Buddhist scriptures and walked the wolf. Time passed quickly and at that moment, an unfamiliar voice came from outside, “What the heck! I’ve finally made it! Anyone here?”
An out-of-breath voice first probed to see if there was anyone. It sounded completely exhausted.
Fangzheng hurriedly went out and was stunned. There was a delivery man! Come to speak of which, when did delivery men ever take packages to such remote places? Also, why did this delivery man look like he wanted to devour a person? This Penniless Monk hadn’t done anything to him, right...?
Hu Tan had just graduated from college this year. He had become a delivery man for a delivery company, Speedy Delivery. As a delivery man, he had never felt like he had a lower status than others, despite being out on the field all the time. The work he did was after all attributed purely to his skill and diligence. In fact, every time he delivered his packages early, he would feel a sense of accomplishment from seeing the receivers’ happy faces and gratitude.
Therefore, Hu Tan had sworn that just as every trade had its master, he would become a delivery master! The packages he had had to be delivered punctually and be taken care of with all his heart. Due to his tenacity, Hu Tan had received great reviews. Many receivers of his had sent letters of commendation to him. There were even some who wanted to introduce women to him. For that, he worked even harder to earn money.
Today, he had been allocated a delivery that he wished he would never receive again for the rest of his life. The address was at One Finger Village, Region 0, #1.
One Finger Village was remote, to begin with, so few delivery companies delivered there. However, Speedy Delivery was different. It claimed that no location was a problem as long as they had enough time!
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