The Returner

Chapter 416: Been a while (1)

Choi Jeong-Hoon thought that his own mind was going out of whack after talking to this madman.

“If you swear that you’ll go away without a fuss after I call him and he says no then sure, why not.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

“What, you’ll really believe me if I swear it? I didn’t think you’d be like that... Mister Choi Jeong-Hoon, you’re more innocent than you look, aren’t you?” (Alpha)

...D*mn it, I wish I could beat the living daylights out of this punk... (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

Choi Jeong-Hoon gnashed his teeth and pulled out his phone. He figured that rather than experiencing a verbal wrestling match with this punk here, he might as well call Yi Ji-Hyuk as soon as possible and bring about an end to this whole situation.

In the corner of his mind, he was acutely aware of his survival being dependent on the result of the call itself, but even then, he had absolutely no desire to extend this strange confrontation any longer than it had to.

If he was fated to die, then so be it.

He didn’t want to pathetically limp on in this conversation just because of the looming threat of death.

After confirming Yi Ji-Hyuk’s number on the screen, Choi Jeong-Hoon tapped on the ‘call’ icon then put the phone on speaker.

The ring tone only went on for a couple of times before the call got through.

– “Hello?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk!” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

– “Please hurry up. I’m in the middle of han-ta.” [1] (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...Gimme a break, that d*mn game.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Before Choi Jeong-Hoon could say something else, though, Alpha shouted out first.

“Wowsers, this is too much, you know?! You never answered my call, though!” (Alpha)

– “What the hell? Who was that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon shot a glare at Alpha with eyes reserved for looking at a madman, but the latter replied rather nonchalantly.

“It’s Alpha. How are you doing?” (Alpha)

– “Alpha?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes.” (Alpha)

– “Oh, uh, so... That wacko?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Puh-euht!

Choi Jeong-Hoon snorted in an uncontrollable laughter and hurriedly grabbed the steering wheel.

‘Yes, a cider!’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

It felt like all of his stress accumulated from dealing with Alpha got vented out in an instant.

“That’s a bit too harsh, don’t you think? I mean, I came all the way to Korea just to have an audience with you.” (Alpha)

– “Why didn’t you come to my place, then?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You know why. The security cordon around you is water-tight and if I get found out, all those ability users lounging around in the NDF office with nothing better to do would pounce on me in frenzied excitement or something.” (Alpha)

– “Okay, whatever man. Get to the point, will ya. I’m in the middle of han-ta, okay!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Alpha formed a somewhat serious expression and looked over to Choi Jeong-Hoon.

“What exactly is this han-ta thing?” (Alpha)

...Well, that stupid game can be helpful sometimes, eh? (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

Choi Jeong-Hoon smiled meaningfully in silence, causing Alpha’s confusion to get even deeper.

– “Ah, bloody hell?! I died!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...I’m not sure what you’re talking about right now. It seems that my Korean is still a bit lacking.” (Alpha)

– “Okay so. What do you want?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Alpha spoke up cautiously.

“I’d like to meet and chat to you in person. But Mister Choi Jeong-Hoon doesn’t want to arrange the meeting.” (Alpha)

“You crazy?! Why would I take you there?!” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon roared out in anger, but Yi Ji-Hyuk was quite ruthless when it came to reaching the conclusion.

– “Then come to my house.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Eh?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

The one to reply in stupor wasn’t Alpha but Choi Jeong-Hoon.

– “Seeing his face at least once is nothing major to begin with, anyway. Just bring him along.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hul...” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon saw Alpha’s triumphant “See, I told you so” expression and felt this inexplicable sense of defeat.

“Urgh.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Alpha might be one thing, but Yi Ji-Hyuk too wasn’t right in the head, that’s for sure.

“I’m really going to take him to your house, okay?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

– “Ah, wait. Tell that punk to bring me a present first. It’s his first visit and all.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Hey, you insane fool, that’s not really important right now, is it?! (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

– “Oh, I respawned. I’m hanging up now.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Click.

The call came to an unceremonious end and Choi Jeong-Hoon wordlessly stared at the phone’s screen.

Alpha looked at him for a second or two, before smirking deeply.

“Should I drive?” (Alpha)

“...No, I will.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon, his eyes blazing rather furiously, stomped on the accelerator.

Fine, fine! Let’s all die together today! (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

*

“Now that’s a nice house, alright.” (Alpha)

“...” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

“Keuh~, As I thought, having you around makes things so much easier, Mister Choi Jeong-Hoon. Who knew we wouldn’t get stopped once in the checkpoints! If it was me alone, I’d have to break through several layers of security networks.” (Alpha)

“But you would have broken through them no problem, right?” (Alpha)

“Well, yeah. That’s true. But if I break through like that and try to sneak into Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk’s house, then I might have ended up getting killed and sent to hell, you know? They say an old lion is still a lion, so if that guy sneezes in my directions, someone as weak as me might get all of his bones shattered or something.” (Alpha)

“It’d be wonderful if that happened for real.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon spat out a lengthy groan then pressed the doorbell. The front gate promptly opened so he stepped inside.

Oh-Sik greeted him first.

“...Where is Mister Turtle?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Oh-Sik pointed towards his doghouse. Choi Jeong-Hoon spotted a turtle lying spread-eagled and snoring in the middle of the day and spat out yet another groan.

‘What the heck. This isn’t even a petting zoo, so why...’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

At this rate, more stress would accumulate if he wasn’t careful.

He shook his head and approached the front door. After opening it, he stepped inside.

“Eiii, d*mn it!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He was greeted by the familiar yells of defeat as he walked towards Yi Ji-Hyuk’s room.

“These b*stards, how can they be playing games when the whole world is in this state?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

What about you, you d*mn fool! (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

Choi Jeong-Hoon really, really had a ton of things he’d like to get off his chest but for the time being, he had to desperately rein them all in.

“It’s been a while. Good to see you again.” (Alpha)

Alpha smiled brightly and greeted Yi Ji-Hyuk.

The latter stared at him with a clearly-pouting face, then opened his mouth unhappily.

“And where’s my present?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“This is the country of courteous people, isn’t it. Of course I had one prepared beforehand.” (Alpha)

Alpha brought forward the hidden shopping bag from his behind and pushed it towards Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“What’s this?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Tracksuits.” (Alpha)

“...”

Choi Jeong-Hoon stared at the tracksuits currently on Yi Ji-Hyuk’s body, then shifted his head over to Alpha next.

‘Is this the case of him having good sense or not having any senses whatsoever?’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

How confusing.

So, so bloody confusing, indeed.

“Whenever I saw you, you were always wearing that particular style of tracksuits, so I decided to buy something similar.” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk frowned deeply.

“I have over dozen same tracksuit sets already, but you actually got me the exact same thing, too?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Of course not! These bad boys are not the same.” (Alpha)

“How so?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Alpha walked up to Yi Ji-Hyuk and whispered quietly.

“These are made in America. Imported from overseas, no less.” (Alpha)

“Oh?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk gladly accepted the present with an elated grin on his face.

‘Please stop it, you insane b*stards.’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Choi Jeong-Hoon found it very strange that even though Alpha and Yi Ji-Hyuk had ended up in one room together, there hadn’t been any world-ending Big Bangs so far.

How commendable, our world. You’re enduring so well!

Seeing how Yi Ji-Hyuk was reacting as if he had ran into an old friend, Choi Jeong-Hoon couldn’t help but fall even deeper into a pit of confusion.

This guy, did he already forget that he nearly died from Alpha stabbing him in the back with a knife?

Well, a hand blade is still technically a knife, so... (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

“Sit.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Why, thank you.” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk opened the refrigerator, took out a bottle of juice and placed it on the living room’s coffee table. He then even brought cups out on a tray, too.

“Wow, what a wonderful hospitality this is. To think there would come a day that Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk is pouring me a drink.” (Alpha)

“I’m rather well-cultured, you see.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon was working extra hard to stop his urge of wanting to cover up his ears from taking over him. He no longer cared about the results. He just wanted to see the end to this horrible situation as soon as humanly possible.

“Okay, so...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

After finishing pouring the drinks in the cups, Yi Ji-Hyuk leaned against the couch and stared at Alpha.

“What now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

A question straight to the point.

Alpha scratched his head, then replied with a smile.

“We aren’t going to exchange any pleasantries, but straight into business?” (Alpha)

“You look fine to me, so what?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Well, yeah. You got a point there.” (Alpha)

“I need to get back to my gaming session soon, so if you’ve got something to say, hurry up and say it, then get lost.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...Sounds like you’re rather unhappy with me.” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shrugged his shoulders.

“Actually, I’ve gone through quite a lot of things in life before, so I don’t feel much of anything towards you. It’s just that I’m not a fan of wasting my time on useless stuff.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Mm...” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s reply caused an expression of uncertainty to float up on Alpha’s face.

“Should I label this as you being dauntless or something...? Honestly, I was expecting to get beaten up by you after arriving here, you know.” (Alpha)

“If you keep beating around the bush and annoy me, I think I can meet your expectation.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Eh? That won’t do.” (Alpha)

Alpha quietly stared at Yi Ji-Hyuk before carrying on.

“How about joining hands with me?” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk dug into his ear canals.

“Why are you telling someone as busy as me this dogsh*t? Get lost.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He then got up from the couch, his expression clearly implying that he wasted time for no good reason. Alpha hurriedly got up as well and began clinging onto Yi Ji-Hyuk’s arm.

“W-wait a minute! Hang on! Please, at least listen to what I have to say first!” (Alpha)

“Let me go! I said, let go! Didn’t your mother teach you not to spew dogsh*t in people’s faces?!” [2] (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’m telling you, I have a plan! A way to get out of this mess! I’m sure you don’t believe me now but once you listen to me, even you’d end up slapping your thigh and go, why didn’t I think of it before. I swear!” (Alpha)

“You better let go before I slap you instead.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“It’s okay if you want to slap me around. But I’m being honest that I do have a plan. At this rate, humanity will die without being able to do anything, wouldn’t you agree? I’m not the type to sit back and watch such a thing happen.” (Alpha)

“You caused this whole thing in the first place, you d*mn insane b*stard!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That was all a part of my plan. Do I look like someone capable of doing something like that without a plan?” (Alpha)

“Yup, you do.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“P-please, don’t be like that...” (Alpha)

Alpha began pleading for real now.

“You’re my lone hope now, Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk. Don’t you want to try your best for the sake of humanity with us?” (Alpha)

“Holy cow... It’s really been a long time since I last heard bullsh*t of this calibre.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon was wholeheartedly agreeing with Yi Ji-Hyuk’s opinion.

If it was any other person, sure, why not. But how could Alpha even mouth such things so shamelessly?!

Even if every single person on the planet was asked to shout out “World Peace!”, Alpha shouldn’t be one of them.

“What a shameless b*stard.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

Yi Ji-Hyuk nodded in agreement at Choi Jeong-Hoon’s utterance.

“Hey, man. Let’s be real here. You belong to the axis of evil, don’t you? Almost all the crap that’s been happening lately is your handiwork, isn’t it?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That’s a misunderstanding.” (Alpha)

“Which part is?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...I’m not a part of this axis of evil or whatever. Although you’re correct about recent events being ‘mostly’ my handiwork.” (Alpha)

Alpha replied with a refreshing grin, causing Yi Ji-Hyuk to hug his head.

“You can never figure out what a human being is, no matter how deep you dig in. I mean seriously, an insane b*stard like this is also a human too, so how can anyone figure anything out?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jeong-Hoon was inwardly feeling this subtle emotion.

‘That’s exactly how I feel.’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

One could only pray that through this meeting, Yi Ji-Hyuk finally gets to understand at least one-tenth of the torture he had put other people through.

“Okay, so...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk, looking somewhat hollow, stared at Alpha.

“All the crap you’ve done is indeed your fault, but you have a good reason for doing so? Is that it?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Correct.” (Alpha)

“So, it’s your fault that the doorway to the demon world opened up, but you didn’t do it because you wanted everyone to die together with you. No, you thought that it’d actually help out humanity, instead.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You’re absolutely on point yet again. As expected of you, Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk.” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk reached out and grabbed the cup of juice meant for Alpha, then gulped down the cold liquid contained within in one go.

“...But, uh, that was mine...” (Alpha)

“Got none for you, you b*stard.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk roughly scratched his head then shot a glare at Alpha.

“What a fresh and never-before-heard dogsh*t this is. Okay, fine. Let’s say your bullcrap is for real. Even if what you said is real, that’s still not a good enough reason for me to cooperate with you, now is it? Wouldn’t you agree?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“But, how about you do it for the sake of world peace?” (Alpha)

“Peace, my foot!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah, my bad! My Korean is still not that great, you see. Rather than peace, it’s survival. Our survival! If you and I combine our strengths, we can easily drive out the demon world’s denizens. Things might get harder if more time is wasted but since the Gates have opened sooner than expected, we still have more than enough leeway, don’t we? If you agree to go along with my plan, then the odds are still favourable for us.” (Alpha)

“...Your plan?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes. And it’s a foolproof plan, too. I told you this before already, right? You’ll be so shocked and moved after learning about it.” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk powerlessly nodded his head.

He had already heard a lot of crap by now, so there was no reason to not listen a bit more. Wait, he might start bleeding from his ears if he heard more of this nonsense but then again, he was somewhat curious about what this insane b*stard would say next.

“Okay, fine. What’s your plan, then?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Alpha grinned brightly, then brought a finger to his lips.

‘No, he wouldn’t...’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

“It’s a secret.” (Alpha)

Yi Ji-Hyuk grinned brightly as well.

Alpha maintained his smile while looking back at him.

“Get the hell out, you insane b*stard!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

A cushion Yi Ji-Hyuk threw at Alpha struck the latter in the head and bounced up towards the ceiling.

< 416. Been a while -1 > Fin.

(TL: “Han-ta” in [1] is a Korean slang term usually associated with MOBAs like AOS and LOL. It’s basically a Korean shorthand for “team fight”.

(TL: In [2], the OG text was “How dare you spew dogsh*t after eating expensive food!” but I changed it since it didn’t make much sense to me personally.)

(TL: Finally, no Staind jokes, pls.)

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