The Returner

Chapter 426: There’s a nuke headed this way? (1)

“Stop them! We must stop them, no matter what! T-that’s right, shoot them down, now!” (Christopher McLaren)

Christopher McLaren lost almost all of his mind just then.

How could he not, though?

Knowing what nuclear weapons meant to humanity, it was only normal for anyone to suffer massive mental shock on the level of the world coming to an end after learning about nukes flying towards your country.

“Sir, it’s impossible to shoot them down! We can’t even predict their trajectories!”

“You stupid as*hole! Since you can’t shoot it down, we should just sit back and get hit?! Is that what you’re saying?!” (Christopher McLaren)

Christopher McLaren’s eyes were taking in the sight of two distinctive red lines on the map heading towards the United States of America.

Knowing what those lines represented, there was no bloody way he could maintain his calm. Nukes were about to fall on top of his head soon, so how the hell could he keep his cool?

“Sir! Other countries are trying to contact us! What should we say?”

“Tell them to take care of it themselves!” (Christopher McLaren)

Christopher McLaren gritted his teeth.

“Those f*cking Commie b*stards, I swear I’m gonna make you pay for this stupidity.” (Christopher McLaren)

His rage at the Chinese government and his fear at the demon king rushed in at the same time.

Even if a demon king was capable of exercising near-miraculous abilities, rather than simply disposing of the eighteen ICBMs flying towards it... the d*mn demon chose to throw a counter at the rest of the world, instead.

‘How is anyone supposed to anticipate such things in the first place?!’ (Christopher McLaren)

The worst of all the worst possibilities had been thought up of already, yet a scenario far worse than every single one of them happened in the end.

“Shoot them down! Shoot every single missile headed this way! What about our missile defense system?!” (Christopher McLaren)

“S-sir, because of the uncertain trajectories...”

“F*ck! What do you think we should do, then?! Should we suck on our thumbs and do nothing? Call the Department of Defense, now! I don’t care whether you throw thousands of flares at them, dispatch fighter jets, or even you personally go there yourself, just stop those missiles from landing in our country! And also!” (Christopher McLaren)

Christopher McLaren roared out as blood vessels bulged in his eyes.

“Connect me to China. Get that son of b*tch, Xu Cheng or whatever his name was, on the phone and ask if those missiles can be remotely detonated! Hurry the hell up!” (Christopher McLaren)

“Yes, sir!”

Christopher McLaren watched the command centre go into maddened overdrive and while tottering unsteadily, got back up on his feet.

Now wasn’t the time to stare dazedly at the monitor. One mistake, and the whole world would end up suffering from a crushing blow.

Although each of those Chinese-made missiles shouldn’t possess all that much destructive power, recovering from the resulting damage might be impossible depending on where they fell.

“Sons of b*tches. If they wanted to act so big and mighty, they should’ve used more expensive missiles or something, at least.” (Christopher McLaren)

This problem wouldn’t have occurred if several warheads were fired after being paired. But it seemed that the ICBMs the Chinese chose to fire were all single-use detonation-upon-impact type missiles. [1]

“Oh, dear god.” (Christopher McLaren)

Christopher McLaren unknowingly drew a cross in front of his chest.

*

“T-t-this...” (Xu Cheng)

Xu Cheng freaked out as he stared at the monitor. All of the warheads falling to the ground suddenly flew back up into the sky, only to change their heading towards the rest of the world, instead.

“W-what the hell is going on here?! What is this?!” (Xu Cheng)

“What should we do, Sir Marshal!”

“W-wait, I asked first what just happened! Tell me what’s going on!” (Xu Cheng)

“Trajectories of all the missiles have changed, sir. The demon king b*stard must’ve done something!”

“You think I can’t see that?!” (Xu Cheng)

Xu Cheng roared out and threw the commander’s baton.

“Where are they headed to? Where! Tell me where! They aren’t falling somewhere within our borders, are they?” (Xu Cheng)

“O-one of them is...”

“What about it?” (Xu Cheng)

“It, it’s headed towards Beijing...”

For a moment there, dizziness nearly took a hold of Xu Cheng.

Beijing? That Beijing?

“Are you saying that a missile is headed this way?” (Xu Cheng)

“Yes, sir. That’s correct.”

“How long do we have? Tell me!” (Xu Cheng)

“Thankfully, the ICBM has lost much of its speed, sir. The rocket fuel has run out by now, while it has slowed down considerably from its previous high flight speed after its heading was abruptly changed, sir. However...”

“However, what?” (Xu Cheng)

“It’s still near the speed of sound, sir.”

Xu Cheng’s brain hurriedly kicked into gear.

The ‘speed of sound’ should mean that the missile was flying slightly faster than a passenger plane. Considering the distance between here and Sichuan, the missile should get here in around two hours’ time.

‘What should we do? What?’ (Xu Cheng)

He needed to think up a way to solve this.

While Xu Cheng was desperately greasing up the gears in his head...

“Sir, a call came from America. They want to know if we can remotely detonate the missiles currently flying towards the rest of the world, sir.”

“Remotely?” (Xu Cheng)

Xu Cheng’s eyes flickered in a hopeful light.

“Is that possible?” (Xu Cheng)

“...We don’t know until we try, sir. Not just the impact-type, but even the ICBMs failed to detonate despite their detonation schedule having passed by, sir. I suspect that something similar to signal interference is affecting the warheads themselves.”

“Try it out, now! Hurry up!” (Xu Cheng)

“...But, Sir Marshal, if we detonate them now, all eighteen warheads will go off in China’s airspace. Their altitudes are currently far too low, and it’s unknown what might happen...”

Marshal Xu Cheng’s expression crumpled unsightly.

“I see.” (Xu Cheng)

The Chinese might be responsible for this slip-up, but that didn’t mean they could afford to shoulder the burden all by themselves, either. Xu Cheng felt that China bearing all the consequences of launching the missiles was simply too cruel and unfair.

“For now, buy us some time by telling the Americans that signal interference is preventing us from remotely detonating the warheads. In the meantime, I shall speak to the Comrade President.” (Xu Cheng)

“Yes, sir!”

Xu Cheng retreated to the corner of the command centre to pick up a certain phone.

A short while later.

“...We’ll be on standby.” (Xu Cheng)

“Sir Marshal?”

“We wait until the warhead is near Beijing. While waiting, deploy all the available jets and have them ready in Beijing’s airspace.” (Xu Cheng)

“Yes, sir!”

“We will try the remote detonation when the missile heading to Beijing gets as close as we can allow it to coincide with the rest reaching a sufficient distance away from our airspace. If that doesn’t work, use the fighters to directly shoot it down. Understand what I’m saying here?” (Xu Cheng)

“Yes, sir! We understand!”

“If we fail, everyone in this place will be dead. And no, I won’t be the one killing you because Beijing itself will be gone without a trace. That’s why you all better keep your wits about you and get ready to deal with the warhead!” (Xu Cheng)

The command centre was soon filled with loud yells and shouts of the technicians.

Xu Cheng watched this scene unfold while wiping away the cold sweat caking his forehead.

“Dam*it.” (Xu Cheng)

Just how did things end up this way?

If the remote detonation attempt ends in failure, China would never regain the international standing they were currently enjoying, that’s for sure.

All he could chew out were profanities and the only things trickling down were cold sweat drops.

“Other than Beijing, which warhead will reach their target the soonest?” (Xu Cheng)

“That is... We can’t predict its potential landing target, sir.”

“Don’t be stupid and just look what’s in its radius, will ya?! At least you can tell what country it will be, can’t you?” (Xu Cheng)

“S-sir. The country is...”

The technician looking at the map let out a gasp.

“It’s either South Korea or Japan, sir.”

“Bloody hell.” (Xu Cheng)

Xu Cheng wiped more cold sweat off his forehead.

“Well, at least we should do the bare minimum required. Call Korea’s and Japan’s governments. Tell them a nuclear warhead is headed their way.” (Xu Cheng)

“They must’ve realised it by now, sir.”

“Oh, so we should keep our mouths shut since that might be the case? Don’t you know what diplomacy even is?!” (Xu Cheng)

“S-sir, we’ll contact them right away.”

Xu Cheng’s blazing eyes were now locked on a red line darting this way and that while heading towards South Korea.

‘I don’t mind Japan, but Korea... That’s going to be troublesome.’ (Xu Cheng)

After losing half of Tokyo, Japan never did recover their nation strength of the yesteryear.

Korea too had lost almost half of its capital city, Seoul, but their army was largely spared from annihilation so their overall military strength was still strong. And even if Yi Ji-Hyuk had lost his powers, he remained as one of the most troublesome existences out there, too.

“I pray that you stop that missile somehow. Whatever it takes.” (Xu Cheng)

Xu Cheng could only clench his fists tightly.

***

Waaaaaaail~!

Sirens ceaselessly went off everywhere.

Kim Dah-Som looked at the utterly-nonplussed Yi Ji-Hyuk, and asked in a slightly worried face.

“Shouldn’t we evacuate, too?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Evacuate?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk roughly scratched his head.

“Well, yeah. You should think about evacuating... No, wait. You evacuating is a bit weird at this point, actually. If it’s nukes landing in China, then you should be here spectating on the fireworks going off, and if it’s monsters showing up, then you need to stop them, so...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Why are the sirens going off, though?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“I mean, nukes are falling on a country right next to ours so if our dear president said, ‘I didn’t think there’s a need for us to evacuate so I let it be’, his severed head will be put on display in front of the Gwanghwamun Gate, you know?”

Kim Dah-Som nodded as if she understood it.

This event was certainly unprecedented, so no one knew how to deal with it. Since it’d be a problem no matter what the higher-ups did... making up some excuses like, “We did our best for the safety of the citizens”, would surely work a treat in saving their skin later.

“There’s no need to worry about it, though. It doesn’t have much to do with us, anyway.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shrugged his shoulders.

“Still, wouldn’t it be better for us to evacuate?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Why?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“All the stores will close up and everyone else will enter the shelters too, so we won’t have anywhere left to go... Meaning we’ll have loiter around the empty streets...” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Well, that is a problem.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Out of all the available time in a day, why did it have to be now when they came out to have some fun?

‘Should I go to China and cause a scene or something?’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Seriously now, those Chinese weren’t helpful in anything whatsoever. Other than gifting the world with Jjajangmyeon, they really hadn’t done much to advance humanity at all.

Ah, wait a minute. Koreans invented Jjajamyeong, didn’t we?

In any case! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Oh well. I guess we should just go home, then.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“No way! You promised to keep me company until the end of office hours, didn’t you?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Hang out in my place, then.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...Should we?” (Kim Dah-Som)

Kim Dah-Som smiled radiantly as if she found herself stumbling onto an unexpected fortune, and began clinging onto Yi Ji-Hyuk’s arm.

“I told you to get off him, you leech!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“If you feel envious, just say so.” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Kids these days, they just don’t know any modesty, do they?” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“I’m sure it’s nice for you after getting so old these days. Are you already thirty?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Come over here, you b*tch.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

Yi Ji-Hyuk spat out a lengthy groan while looking at these two bickering yet again.

Surely not every woman on this planet was insane like these two, so why was he always surrounded by weird females only? Even an eternity wouldn’t be enough to solve this mystery.

Rrrrr...

It was right then that his phone suddenly went off as if to break him out of his reverie.

“...It’s from the defense minister?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk simply dropped the call.

“Does this uncle think I’m 114 or something? Calling me whenever he feels bored to ask me weird things. Don’t I have something like privacy?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk) [2]

Yi Ji-Hyuk groaned again. But before he could stop Kim Dah-Som and Jeong Hae-Min’s bickering, his phone rang once more.

“What the heck, this baldy uncle!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk angrily took a look at his phone, but this time the screen was proudly displaying the name ‘Choi Jeong-Hoon’, not defense minister.

“Urghhhh.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

For some reason, he just couldn’t ignore any calls made by Choi Jeong-Hoon. Thinking that he somehow ended up being properly leashed by this guy, Yi Ji-Hyuk answered the phone.

“What is it now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He answered with a cantankerous-sounding voice, and carried on talking while his irritation level kept going up.

“I already know that. It was me who said the Chinese will use nukes, wasn’t it? So, like, why are you telling me something I already know? Didn’t the sirens go off because of them? It’s not like I’m some little kid, and...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

It was at this point that Yi Ji-Hyuk’s head cocked to one side.

“Ng? What was that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

His voice then sounded somewhat flabbergasted next.

“Okay, so... The nukes they fired... Uh, okay. Uhm, so... Mm, what you’re saying is...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk muttered out in a dumbfounded voice.

“The nuke is headed this way?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

*SFX for an abrupt stop*

The mouths of the two women about to get physical with each other clamped shut simultaneously. And in slow motion, their heads turned towards Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“What the heck? Did I end up in purgatory or something? Seoul got wrecked by a demon king not too long ago, yet now it’s a nuke headed this way? Huhuh. Well, I’ll be. This country’s gonna go down the drain if this keeps up, I tell ya.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

The expressions of Kim Dah-Som and Jeong Hae-Min gradually froze stiff.

“Okay, got it. Yes, yes.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk hung up and shrugged his shoulders, before turning around towards the two females.

“Hey, did you hear? Apparently, there’s a nuke headed this way?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

...Stop saying something like that with a straight face, you crazy fool! (Jeong Hae-Min’s inner monologue)

Jeong Hae-Min couldn’t bring herself to mutter that out and had to swallow it back in her heart.

< 426. There’s a nuke headed this way? -1 > Fin.

(TL: Although the raw text in the first half of [1] said ‘pairing’ type warheads, I’ve no idea what the author was trying to say. I hope I got it right.)

(TL: That ‘114’ in [2] is the telephone number for South Korea’s telephone directory.)

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