She knew what she had signed up for when she agreed to marry Lance. She was aware that this was an arranged marriage for convenience. Unfortunately, the sole benefactor in this business transaction was her father, not her.
Emotions were not part of the agreement that she consented to when she married him. Of course, she was not expecting him to proclaim his undying love for her. Nor would she.
Then he said something that made her raise her eyebrow out of confusion. "It will be better if we share only one room." Those were his exact words.
She had to repeat his statement in her muddle mind, trying to make sense of it all. They already discussed and agreed on their sleeping arrangement. Therefore, why was he bringing it up again? What did he mean by sharing a room?
"Why?" She finally found her voice and asked. "Is there a problem with our current situation?" She could not think of any other reason why he would need to impose this change.
Did the Council or their law require that they only share one room? "Are we breaking a rule or something?" That could be the only explanation for his odd behavior and request.
"No, there is no problem, Camilla. Nothing like that." He quickly responded.
She was slightly relieved to hear that it was not the issue, but his answer did not clear her confusion. Still, she did not want to jump to any conclusion on this unusual proposal.
So far, things between her and her husband were amicable. The last thing she needed was a grave misunderstanding that would rock their stable relationship. They might not have sworn to love one another, but they did promise to support each other through good and bad times until death they parted.
"So, why would we share the same room?" She did not understand the logic of his suggestion.
Frankly, she did not know much about him except a few things she read about him on the news or the tabloids and the few things she heard about him. Truthfully, she doubted most of what she knew about him. She believed that some of it might be inaccurate. But she could not ask him, not yet. Eventually, she would get to know the real him, but it might take time.
But she was not in a hurry. They already had a lifetime to be together.
"Well..." He had this long pause that made her anxious about what else he had to say. "This might sound odd, but I want us to consider making our marriage real."
Again, she scrunched the skin on her forehead, wondering what he was talking about. "Real?" She could not help but question. "Isn't our marriage authentic?"
But it eventually clicked in her mind what he might be saying. It had nothing to do with their certifications. But more to do with their relationship.
Still, she could not help but wonder what wind had brought about this idea. Why would her husband want to go through such trouble, knowing with their present circumstances, real marriage was too much work?
For one, it was not real.
"You misunderstood me." Lance was about to explain what he meant, but she stopped him.
"I think I understand now what this is all about," Camilla said, placing her fork down and looking at the man she married. "You don't have to feel guilty or sorry for me. I know what to expect in this marriage."
She believed it was the plausible explanation for why Lance acted this way. Why he suddenly felt the need to do this?
Everybody always thought that she was timid and fragile because she hardly voiced her opinion or showed much emotion. But she guessed she did not care much about the opinions of others. She just wanted to live her life in peace.
"No, that is not it." He quickly replied, looking anything but apologetic. On the other hand, he smiled at her, seemingly amused with himself. "I think you have everything wrong." He said as he leaned over the table and took her hand.
"I seem to be missing something." She dared not to assume anything, not where Lance was concerned or their marriage.
She believed she barely knew this man. But if what they said about him was true, he was a man of his word. He always considered what others thought of him. He was a fair and just man.
Still, she had no idea what he had planned for their marriage. She could not read what he was thinking at that moment. But despite that, she was at ease with him.
"Here is the thing, I have a new proposition for you." He gripped her hand tighter. "I am not promising that I will fall in love with you, but I wish to try to make our marriage work."
She was not expecting that from him. It was not exactly the proposal she had dreamed of when she was young. But would it be better than the arrangement they already had in place?
"Are you saying we should try to act like a real couple in public?" But that was what they had been doing since they said their vows.
"Also in private." He quickly interjected, correcting her statement. "I am not expecting us to fall madly in love, but since we already agreed to be friends, maybe we can shift it to the next level."
"Oh!" Once again, she was surprised by this new development. It was far from what she imagined would happen to their marriage.
"I don't think love is limited to the romantic notion. I am sure that we can love each other differently." He continued, explaining to her what he proposed to their new arrangement.
"Ok." She answered him in monosyllables as she grasped his idea of what their relationship should become.
"Our relationship could center on trust, loyalty, respect, and friendship. Those are also important in building a marriage and a family." He added, carrying his point across.
She thought of what he said and somewhat agreed with him. He was right. Love was just one component of a marriage's success. Maybe they could center on the other aspect of their relationship.
"I think you have a point." She said as she thought thoroughly about his suggestion. More importantly, she felt more comfortable around him, seeing they might have more things in common than she initially thought.
"Yes, I know that you will understand what I am saying. I hope you will open your mind to making our relationship as real as possible." Lance pulled her hand to his lips and kissed them.
The simple fact that she did not flinch at his touch meant she trusted him from the beginning of their marriage. Therefore, she could not see any problem with them trying to make this marriage work.
"Besides, we are building a family. I want to give our children a home where they would feel love and happiness. We can only do that if we are on the same page." Lance further elaborated his thought on the matter.
"I agree with what you are saying. I also want our kids to live in an environment not built on lies. I guessed I want them to have a different life than mine." Camilla could sympathize with his plan.
She had seen what a loveless marriage and a family that lived in so many lies could do to the children. Look at what happened to her and what she feared would happen to her siblings.
"We can change that. By staying in one room, going on functions together, doing things together, we can learn to get to know each other more." Lance pointed out.
She nodded in consensus, thinking he had a point and made sense. They had to learn to know more about each other, their past and present, and plan together for their future.
"But there is no pressure of love." She stated, clarifying that it should not be an issue.
"And when I say loyalty and trust. I assure you, I will never look at anyone else. I will never cheat on you. I will remain faithful to our vows." He said as his finger touched the ring he placed on her fingers.
"Then, I will also swear to you that there will be no one else in my life except you now and until death does us part." Now, she sounded like she was making another vow.
But she guessed that was what they were doing, promising to remain faithful to each other. She could not expect a whirlwind romance, but at least a man who would treat her right. She guessed that was better than what she had seen from the other marriages.
Why would she need a love that stops her heart from beating? If, in the end, it would just cause her too much pain. She would grab what he offered her, believing it was much better than she had imagined.
She guessed she would settle for a comfortable love.
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