The Silly Alchemist

Auntie? Grandma? (1)

Coldblood Five couldn’t do much, so she had to cast some camouflage magic to protect Ye Lang. This was an important skill for an assassin to master. Alchemy tools can be used to ‘fix’ a patch of space, so from the outside, no changes could be seen.

“What? Don’t freak. If they see me, I have a way to deal with it,” Ye Lang immediately noticed when Coldblood Five cast her spell. He was very sensitive to alchemy.

“You have a way... But I don’t, okay?” Coldblood Five didn’t want to continue the conversation, in case Ye Lang gave another weird answer.

“Oh alright! You do you, I’ll just eat!” Ye Lang started to munch on the pastries, gulping the Xiangming tea. Bliss.

Food at the palace was obviously far from what a commoner would usually eat. However, Ye Lang didn’t get to enjoy for long...

“The empress dowager is coming?!” the palace official was surprised when a palace guard came to report. The empress dowager was coming immediately.

Was she really going to meet Lady Marge personally? Or was it just a coincidence, the old lady was having a walk?

“We should welcome her!” no matter what, the empress dowager was coming. They had to greet her.

The palace official and ladies-in-waiting stood in a row at the entrance. Ye Lang was even more delighted. He continued eating without trying to hide.

Let’s not forget that if her highness approached to talk to Lady Marge, someone would definitely see Ye Lang on the table.

“Let’s go!” Coldblood Five dragged Ye Lang back, leaping into the spirit girl’s clutch.

“My tart...” mumbled Ye Lang, his mouth still stuffed with pastry.

“I don’t care about your tart! Why not let the spirit get it?? You’re so dumb!!” Coldblood Five knocked his head, still grabbing his hand in fear of him escaping again.

“Oh! No one’s looking. If I put a few into my bag, nobody will see us or think we’re rude,” Ye Lang understood. He let the spirit girl stuff some food into her bag.

He never thought about why the empress dowager was here, nor what he was going to do about it!

Coldblood Five was puzzled too, but she knew she could only wait for her Majesty’s arrival.

Soon, the empress dowager arrived. She sat before the spirit girl, then took a good look at her...

At this point, Coldblood Five and everyone else was waiting for Ye Lang to make a move. The empress dowager was here! Why was she still sitting? At least stand to greet her!

They didn’t expect Ye Lang to remain seated, nor did they expect him to say...

“Auntie, help yourself! It’s really good,” the spirit girl politely greeted the empress dowager. Ye Lang would never be rude to anyone in formal occasions like this.

Anyone who knew Ye Lang wouldn’t worry about that, but instead about him making a mistake!

Like right now. He’d just called the empress dowager, ‘auntie’ because he didn’t know she was THE empress dowager. If he did, obviously he would say ‘your Majesty’.

Ye Lang didn’t hear what the palace official said! He didn’t know she was coming. And even if he’d heard, he definitely wouldn’t think the person before him was the empress dowager herself.

It wasn’t entirely his fault either. This empress dowager looked too young like she was in her forties. She resembled an elegant, sophisticated duchess, not like the legendary mother of the emperor.

The Vermilion Bird Empire’s emperor was in his forties. As for his mother, she was now in her seventies.

How would he know?

“Imbecile!”

“Such disrespect!”

“Do you know who she is...”

Suddenly, everyone around them erupted in criticism. However, this faded very soon when she put her hand up gently.

“Don’t you all say anything. I think Auntie is not bad. I haven’t heard this in so long, I feel a few decades younger already,” said the empress dowager, laughing.

“A few decades? You would be a child,” said the spirit girl, very confused. She looked forty, so any younger would be a teenager- or a child.

“Hehe, this lady is a good one. You make me blush,” she smiled, apparently very happy with his response. Looks like women would never get tired of compliments about their looks, no matter the age.

“...”

The ladies in waiting thought, Was Lady Marge pretending to be dumb?? She made her Majesty so happy, looks like this girl wasn’t so simple after all!

Coldblood Five thought Ye Lang was being nice too, paving the road for their duties. She couldn’t borrow the spirit’s eyes for sight, so she didn’t know exactly how insanely young her Majesty looked.

“You...” the spirit girl stared at the empress dowager, deep in thought. The girl’s gestures now resembled Ye Lang’s actual expressions.

What?! What are you staring at her Majesty for? She was a rich, spoilt brat after all!

“Auntie, I think I’ve seen your face somewhere...” the spirit girl looked at the empress dowager, trying her best to recall. He was puzzled. The lady before him seemed familiar, but he couldn’t be sure.

Her Majesty was stunned for a moment, then smiled, “Perhaps we’ve met!” Any outsider would’ve thought she was kissing ass- though that was a little too obvious for her.

“Perhaps. I can’t remember...” the spirit girl shook her head, unable to remember. She had to give up.

“Your name must be Lady Marge!”

“Mm, what about you, Auntie?” asked the spirit girl.

Auntie...

“I am... Call me Auntie. You’ll get into trouble if I tell you my name,” the empress dowager was about to tell him, but everyone stopped her immediately so she couldn’t.

The given name of the empress dowager couldn’t be given out to commoners. If she did say it out loud, it was trouble for everyone there.

“Oh, alright, Auntie!”

“Mm, good girl!” She patted the spirit girl, then continued, “Lady Marge, I heard you bought a necklace from the auction. Can you give it to me? My granddaughter loved it but you got to it first. The poor girl cried so hard yesterday!”

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