This World Has Gone Crazy

Lu Yanbin looked at a certain idiot and was silent moment. Then, he went forward and pinched his chin while he looked around. “Do you feel uncomfortable?”

Yi Hang shook his hand off and asked curiously, “I’m doing great. Why would I be uncomfortable?”

Lu Yanbin calmly reminded, “You’re possessing someone right now.”

Yi Hang, “=口=”

Fuck! That’s right! Yi Hang stared wide-eyed and instantly went silly. His mind went blank and he even felt that in the next moment, he would become a wisp of smoke and disappear without a trace.

Lu Yanbin looked at him, “Didn’t you think about this when you hung up these talismans?”

No...... Yi Hang looked at him with teary eyes and paused. He suddenly realized that a whole afternoon had passed. If his soul were to fly away, wouldn’t that have happened much earlier? There was no need for the talismans to wait to work now. Plus the Taoist priest played with these things all day and was fine, wasn’t he? If the one who offended God could continue to live, he should be able to as well! He quickly regained his senses, “These things aren’t useful against me okay? Let’s have dinner.”

Lu Yanbin looked at him anxiously, trying to make sure that he was alright. He touched his head, put the food on the table and asked him to come and sit down. After they had a simple meal and Yi Hang had taken a bath, Lu Yanbin went into the bathroom and saw that there were also yellow talismans everywhere, with messy symbols painted with cinnabar on them. They looked like weird bloody scribbles. He was silent for a moment before he took a calm bath and then went out in his pajamas.

Yi Hang took out a few talismans from the plastic bag and pasted them all over the sofa. All at once, he felt at ease, thinking that there was no need to be afraid of female ghosts and living corpses. He waved enthusiastically at a certain person, “Let’s watch a movie. Laozi won’t jump into your arms this time!”

Lu Yanbin looked at him and turned on his computer. Yi Hang looked at the screen firmly. A few minutes later, he lifted his pajamas to cover his head again. Then, he was quickly stripped. With his upper body naked, he picked up a talisman to cover his eyes but it was quickly snatched and thrown away. He continued to stick them with perseverance. Soon, all the talismans around him were used up. He was shaking in fear. Finally, he couldn’t help but lower his head and picked up two amulets to stick on his eyelids. Lu Yanbin shook his hands off. “Same rules, if you’re afraid, come into my arms.”

“No!” Yi Hang sat doggedly and suddenly saw a horrible face on the screen. He immediately screamed with fright and rushed to him angrily, “Damn it, it doesn’t work!”

Lu Yanbin patted him on the back. “The movie is just an act. What’s the use of buying these things?”

“It gives me psychological comfort!” Yi Hang sat up straight and looked at the screen again. After a while, he couldn’t stand it. “Big brother, can we stop watching?”

“Yes,” Lu Yanbin nodded. “Let’s do it then.”

“...” Yi Hang turned away silently and continued to watch. Soon, with a scream of horror, Yi Hang turned and jumped into his arms again.

Lu Yanbin hugged him with satisfaction. “Have you gotten a sense of security from me?”

“You wish! Isn’t this all because you?!” Yi Hang collapsed in a heap and looked up at him. “Big brother, let’s watch something else. Let’s watch a romance movie. It’s easy to cultivate feelings. I’m telling you this way of pursuing me isn’t going to work. Why don’t you change to something else?”

“But I think this method is very effective,” Lu Yanbin thought for a moment. “If you don’t like it, I’ll talk to my friends and have them come up with some other ideas.”

Yi Hang was about to cry. “Those friends of yours again? Big brother, they aren’t normal ah. Why can’t you listen to me? You’re on earth, so you have to follow how humans behave, get it?”

Lu Yanbin ignored the nonsensical remarks in the back, but thought for a moment and looked at him. “If I follow your suggestions, how soon can you fall in love and sleep with me? The time they gave me was less than a month, is it shorter than this?”

Yi Hang, “=口=”

Lu Yanbin raised his eyebrows. “Hmm?”

Yi Hang thought to himself, Laozi will not dig my own grave! He rubbed his face in frustration and steadied himself to watch the movie. After several screams, he finally successfully finished the movie. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw that a certain someone was about to put on another movie. He quickly stopped him, “I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.”

Lu Yanbin looked at the time. “It’s just over 9 o’clock.”

“I’m sleepy anyways.” Yi Hang was unmoved and got up to go to bed.

Lu Yanbin turned off his computer when he saw this and lay down in bed with him, “I’ll hug you to sleep?”

Yi Hang grunted angrily, “No need.” With so many talismans, he was sure he could sleep soundly tonight. His money wouldn’t be wasted after all.

Lu Yanbin didn’t force him. He calmly said, “Look at these things hanging on the window. Doesn’t it look like the funeral home in the movie?”

Yi Hang: “=口=”

“The Heavenly Master was afraid that the living corpse would come out of the coffin, so the funeral home was covered in talismans, but the living corpses eventually came out anyways...”

“Shut up!” Yi Hang shivered in fear.

“Mmm, goodnight.”

Yi Hang huddled up, quivering and about to cry.

Lu Yanbin looked at him and asked again, “I’ll hug you to sleep?”

Yi Hang struggled for a long time before finally turning over and silently shuffling towards him.

Qi Le didn’t get Gu Bai to pick him up, but took the bus back alone. It was late at night and the cold wind blew on his face. He walked into the community and looked up at the apartment in front of him. He took a deep breath, decided to face the reality, and strode upstairs.

Gu Bai was just about to call Xiao Le and ask him where he was right now and whether he would come back tonight. Reflecting on what he did last night, he realized that he might have scared him away. He had been too impatient and should have taken it slow. As he was thinking, he saw the door suddenly open and got up. “Have you had dinner yet?”

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