Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai

Volume 3, Chapter 3: My Homeroom Teacher is Only Breasts Towards Me

After that, Sumire and I went along her date plan, visiting various stores. Somehow, she managed to stop herself from going crazy when we visited an otaku goods store to buy stuff. Later, we stopped by an arcade to try the photobooth challenge, after which Sumire ended up eyeing some random shoujo manga. When we visited another store, her energetic JK-like manner, going ‘So cuuuuute!’ at all the different animal-themed accessories, made me burst out laughing.

Although each of those places were annoying to deal with, I still think we managed to act like a proper couple. At the moment, I was strolling through a bookstore, while Sumire was off to the restrooms. Wondering if there were any interesting new releases, I gazed over at the light novel section and noticed a familiar name.

“Ah, that’s Makigai Namako-sensei’s…”

A certain novel at the UZA Publishing corner entered my vision. With a red and white cover, it was placed prominently at the front, like a radiant meteorite against a pitch-black backdrop. It really was eye-catching, seeing it so proudly displayed. Employees had put up a handwritten recommendation next to it, with reviews from famous people, writers, the editorial department, and critics alike. Anyone would have had high expectations for the novel after seeing all that, really.

“That reminds me, he hasn’t released anything since ‘Revenge Classroom of Snow White’, huh…”

It was the best-selling author Makigai Namako’s debut work. It was a success, with a sales total of three million copies. Since then, the publication pace has slowed, and the hype around it has faded out, so to speak.

—Maybe it’s because of his work in the [5th Floor Alliance]?

I really don’t know much about the hard work of writing a novel. I trusted him when he said he’d be able to keep up with writing both his novel and the scenario of ‘The Night the Black Goat Screamed’, but maybe he’s forcing himself? He acts mature and all, but I’m sure there’s another side to him. I wouldn’t mind letting him off for a bit if his schedule was getting tight, but I doubt his pride would allow himself to lower his head and ask for an extension of his deadline. No, I should just talk to him about it and work something out, so his light novel series doesn’t suffer.

“……”

While I was thinking, I felt a certain uneasiness rise up inside my chest. A feeling I’d been keeping bottled up until now. The anxiety that I might have been pretending not to notice. The strongest component of the [5th Floor Alliance], as well as its strongest weakness. It’s slowly rising up…

“Thanks for waiting, Darling~”

“Didn’t I tell you not to do any dumb acting like that? Well, you might just be lacking in the brain.”

“Can’t help it. Couples equate to stupidity and mindlessness, right?”

“That’s some crazy logic there. Well, I get where you’re coming from.”

That gloomy feeling just now was blown away completely. Was she actually aiming for that? No, impossible. Never.

“Come on come on, we’re still not done, Darling~”

“Agh, don’t just pull on my clothes like that. And I keep telling you to stop calling me that.”

“Fufufu, I feel like I’m finally starting to understand Iroha-chan’s feelings a bit.”

“Huh?”

“Ooboshi-kun being so reluctant and whiny like that is weirdly cute. It even makes me grin, see?” Sumire giggled.

Seeing that feminine smile from a female teacher, overflowing with charm, and while feeling her warmth through our hand holding, I could feel my body heat up… Ugh, even though the other party is that Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, of all people. I was a bit surprised I got so flustered, but Sumire showed no signs of going any further than that. She stopped pressing herself against me, and I just had to go along with the flow.

And finally, we arrived at the swimsuit store on the second floor of the shopping center. With the sign above it saying ‘PEACH&MELON’, it’s one of the rather popular swimsuit brands targeted for women. Posters emphasizing butts or chests, pamphlets, and mannequins showing off their newest products are everywhere to be seen. For a boy like me, it was nothing more than uncomfortable, even if it wasn’t particularly sexual.

The design might look cute, the shape might be good, but it doesn’t fit! In order to accommodate a broad range of womens’ chests, they have a large selection of sizes. That’s how they’ve been advertising themselves. And apparently there are a lot of women in this city with these problems, seeing that they’ve gotten quite the customer base. Just looking around, you can see plenty of those customers. No matter how you look at it, it’s an atmosphere with a nice fragrance, and all the merchandise seem to be of high quality. For me, a virgin, this is poison to the eyes.

“Hey, Ooboshi-kun.”

“Yes?”

“This is a grave situation.”

Sumire narrowed her eyes, and in a manner befitting a cool beauty like her, she slowly and deliberately chose her next words.

“This store is way too stimulating. I feel like my nose is going to start bleeding any second now.”

“You’re acting like even more of a virgin than I am.”

Saying such ridiculous stuff with a strained expression. Those bastards in my class, they all see you as a cool and beautiful teacher. I’m sure their dreams would be crushed were they to see you like this.

“I’ve never bought a stylish swimsuit before, so I’ve never known of such a heaven.”

“You know that this shop isn’t meant to be lewd, right? Why are you speaking like you’re a man now, all of a sudden?”

“Being male or female, that doesn’t matter when we’re talking about lewd things! Ahhh, what should I do!? Would it be bad if I took some pictures here?!”

“Yes, very bad. The type of bad where you get arrested, idiot.”

Aaaarrghh. I don’t need to be respectful to her. Maybe it’s because this place is full of young, beautiful women that the sealed Murasaki Shibiku-sensei seems to have emerged.

“Look at the swimsuits, not at the people. You’re going to appeal to your family, right? Make an alibi.”

“Ah, now that you mention it! Then let’s start with this.”

Sumire quickly picked up a swimsuit that was nearby and put it into her shopping basket. You just picked that one at random, didn’t you? You didn’t even glance at it, did you? You were looking at that Onee-san over there, right? So many things to comment on, but I saved my breath.

“Are you really fine with this? Wouldn’t it be better to try it on first?”

“Why?”

“To see if the size fits you?”

“Ahh, right, that’s a thing. I never go shopping for swimsuits, so I completely forgot…”

“But you normally try clothes on when you’re shopping, right?”

“I don’t. I order all my clothes online.”

“Ahhhh…”

Somewhat oddly, that reinforced my image of her. Though that reminds me, when I was bringing out the trash one morning, I saw a rather large cardboard box in the trash with Sumire’s address on it. And when I asked her about it, I think she said it was all stuff she ordered online, from food to alcohol, daily necessities, and even clothes, all ordered online. In a different sense from Mashiro, Sumire is also sort of a shut-in.

Well, that makes sense, I guess. Besides her job as a teacher, all she does is illustrate at home, so that sort of lifestyle actually makes more sense for Murasaki Shikibu-sensei. Although she almost always misses her deadlines, she does draw a lot.

“I’m really bad with having employees taking my measurements.”

“But if you shopped in a store, you don’t have to deal with the hassle of sending them back if they don’t fit, you know?”

“I hate it. They’ll just make fun of me like ‘That woman sure is fat’ or ‘Does all her nourishment go straight to her tits?’ and so on!!”

“Quite the delusions you have there.”

Nobody cares about you enough to badmouth you.

“I don’t care~ Even if they don’t, it’s still my problem!”

“Well, if you say it like that.”

Let’s leave that aside for now.

“I mean, we’ve finally arrived at an actual store, so you might as well try it on, right? You’re going to the sea this year, aren’t you?”

“Eh, am I?”

“What? You made it seem like it, going shopping for swimsuits and all.”

“Because it makes us seem like a couple!”

“So you’re fine buying a swimsuit that you’ll never wear, just to make a lie more believable, huh…”

Seriously. Praise the assets of a functioning member of society.

“I was thinking of taking everyone from the [5th Floor Alliance] to the sea during the summer break, though.”

“Eh, really?! That sounds fun!”

In response to my words, Sumire completely bit on.

“Makigai Namako-sensei, OZ, and AKI… A swimming trunks triple combo as they play in the sea… I’m boiling over!!!”

“Don’t get lost in your dumb fantasies, idiot. Though I don’t know if Makigai Namako-sensei will come or not.”

“Let’s invite Iroha-chan and Mashiro-chan as well! Their swimsuits will be a blessing for my rotten eyes… Fufu, fufufufufu. I’ll take you with my car if I have to!!”

“So 2D or 3D, boy or girl, it doesn’t matter if you’re enjoying yourself… I kind of admire that part of you.”

Watching Sumire’s eyes sparkle as she made driving motions with her hands, I let out a fed-up sigh.

“Well, guess we’re going to the sea this year. So go and try on that swimsuit, will you?”

“Hmmm…well, if you say so… Ah, ohoho~”

“…What are you grinning like that for?”

“Don’t tell me, Ooboshi-kun, are you that desperate to see me in a swimsuit? That’s kind of cute, you know~”

“Shut it. Hurry up and try it on.”

This joke of a female teacher went on to poke me in the cheeks, arrogantly grinning at me. Seeing a good-for-nothing woman like her emphasize her ‘female’ charm, it’s pissing me off to no limit. As much of a ‘man’ that I am, I couldn’t help but imagine my beautiful teacher’s swimsuit figure, with her smooth and supple skin. In the end, all I could do was avert my face and push her back towards the changing room.

“Alrighty~ I know that you probably can’t hold yourself back imagining my gravure idol-like body, but don’t open the curtains until I’m done. Though I wouldn’t mind if some men in black made you drink some suspicious medicine that would turn you back into a shota1!”

“As if! Hurry it up.”

Leaving aside the weird reference to a long-running and popular manga that she shota-ified, Sumire waved at me with a swimsuit in her hand and entered the changing room. Having nothing else to do, I just stood in front of the changing cabin, waiting for her to finish. After taking all those pictures, her phone battery was nearly depleted. Meaning that if I left the store to stroll around, it might be dead by the time she’s done, and she wouldn’t be able to reach me. Well, I guess it’d be weird to go out for a walk while someone else is changing. I highly doubt I’d be left unnoticed if I were to walk around in a swimsuit store for women by myself. So really, all I could do was wait.

Whenever I heard anything fall to the floor, I started imagining Sumire being naked on the other side of the curtains. I didn’t have any time to relax, trying to fight those impure thoughts growing within me. It’s Sumire, you know? That Murasaki Shikibu-sensei. It’s true that she may be a bit…no, quite the beauty, but I’m not one to lust for someone like her. Really, as long as she’s hot, us men immediately get all irrational.

“No man would be able to leave a beauty like you alone. How could I stay calm seeing a woman like you wearing such an enticing swimsuit? I’m going to lose myself here.”

“…?!”

I heard a phrase that basically denied what I was thinking, making me twitch and freeze up. But it wasn’t because of what I heard. Rather, it was the voice I heard.

—Hey, hold on. Why? Why are you here…?!

“Really, I don’t like that, you dandy mister. You probably say that to everyone, right?”

“How cruel. I might not look like it, but I’m not the type of man to lie. This Tsukinomori Makoto’s mouth is a mirror of truth, you know?”

Tsukinomori Makoto. As the representative company director of Honey Play Works, he’s my uncle and Mashiro’s father. Having given me the task of acting as Mashiro’s fake boyfriend until she graduates, so that the [5th Floor Alliance] could be taken under Honey Play’s wings, you could say that he’s my most valuable and influential connection. However, Company President Tsukinomori should be quite busy. So why’s he here in this shopping center, flirting with some random girl in this swimsuit store for women?!

“Mirror mirror on the wall, is it? Fufu, then, who is the most beautiful woman in the world?”

“—That is you, of course.”

“Ahaha, you’re weird, mister. But, you’re fun.”

With the woman giving an amusing giggle, nuzzling up to President Tsukinomori, I could tell that they were already pretty close. Even though he should already have that waitress from the family restaurant at his hand, after spending a night with her… This woman doesn’t look anything like the waitress I remember.

That shitty company president is at it again, huh? Although the woman this time is of similar stature to the waitress, she has a completely different way of talking and gesturing, and her makeup is totally different. Going off of that, seeing that President Tsukinomori was the one hitting on her, I imagined that she would act similarly, but judging from the looks of it, he probably only cares about body type and facial features. It doesn’t really help me in dealing with him, but it pisses me off that he’s that superficial… that bastard.

Although I haven’t seen Mashiro’s mother ever since I was in grade school, as I barely remember her, must have been quite the beauty to behold, no doubt given how Mashiro is. I really don’t get that guy. He has such a beauty waiting for him at home, and he still goes around hitting on any woman he fancies? Well, not like it’d be fine if his wife was any less beautiful. Either way, it’s so bad that he’s quite possibly an example of what you shouldn’t do in a relationship. As for me, I’m not that popular to begin with, so I probably don’t even have to worry about getting into such a situation.

…Shut it, no need to comment on that.

“…Wait, this isn’t the time to be standing around… This is bad…!”

I could see in the corner of my view that they were slowly approaching me. The woman held a few swimsuits in her hand; she must have been heading for the changing rooms. It’d definitely be bad if he finds me here. Shopping for a swimsuit with a beautiful teacher of mine…from an outsider’s perspective, this is quite clearly a date. The condition I received from this dandy guy for potential employment was to act as Mashiro’s fake boyfriend, but there’s also another condition.

—That is, I can’t have a lover myself. Maybe it’s to keep up the credibility of our fake relationship, but honestly, it seems a bit like President Tsukinomori resents those normies in high school living out their youth. On a side note, seeing him getting it on with these beauties casts a bit of uncertainty to that statement, but who knows?

“Wah, this is pretty nasty. I had a feeling that the design was pretty dangerous, but trying it on live really was a good idea. Hey, want to see as well, Ooboshi-kun? You’re definitely gonna get a nosebleed from this, I tell you!”

“Idi—Don’t just call out to me…!”

“Ehhh, who cares about that? There’s nobody around to hear us anyway, so we might as well enjoy ourselves while talking.”

“That might be true, but… No, right now, I’m more than afraid that someone I know might hear us…!”

Out of the corner of my view, I saw President Tsukinomori show a suspicious expression. This is bad. He’ll turn around. With so little time to spare, only one method of escape came to mind.

“Eh? …Wah?!”

I hurriedly jumped into the changing cabin in front of me. Closing off Sumire’s mouth as her eyes opened wide, I gave her a death stare, shutting her up. But instead of removing my hand, I kept it glued to her mouth, carefully listening to the voices outside.

“Hmmm, probably just my imagination.”

“What’s wrong, Mister?”

“Ah, well, I felt like I just heard a familiar voice. Well, this isn’t a store for a young hatchling like him. This place is for sexy~~~ women like you.”

As I thought, President Tsukinomori was looking around the vicinity, searching for me. That was way too close… It could have all ended, right then and there.

“Ah, did you get ensnared by another girl while I wasn’t watching?”

“Oh come on, don’t be so cruel. You have no idea just hooooow much I’m obsessed with you—You know, I don’t mind proving it, right here.”

“And how? —Mhnn~”

“Come. There’s an open room right there, perfect for the two of us.”

“Wait. At a place like this… The other guests will hear us.”

“Don’t you think it enhances the experience, doing immoral things here? If you’re that embarrassed, then try to hold back your voice~”

“Oh my…”

I heard people entering the changing cabin next to ours, and in response to President Tsukinomori’s seductive voice, a soft moan resounded.

—What are you people doing?! D-Don’t tell me, you…you…youuuuuuuuu!!! In a public space! So broadly! Just hold back for a few hours and go at it in a hotel, for all I care!!!

“Mmm…Ahhh… <3”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I can almost hear the heart emoji at the end of her sentence! This isn’t an eroge!! Stop joking around you, shitty company president. Why do I have to listen to a relative getting it on, and at such a distance? Maybe I should just call the police and have them arrested for public indecency? Hearing these lines coming from across the wall, right out of an eroge, I couldn’t help but start to feel a little hot myself. These panting voices, from so close, were almost like hallucinations. I had to quickly shake my head to get back on track.

“Oo…hoshi…hun…Can’t…”

A ticklish feeling stroked the palm of my hand. Not to mention, I feel like I heard the name ‘Ooboshi-kun’ in those hallucinations, even—Wait, this feels pretty real for just being a delusion. Working to get my thoughts in order, after having them all scrambled in that confusion, it slowly but steadily started to come together, like a puzzle.

—The 16-year old Ooboshi Akiteru, a male high school student in the middle of his youth, had stormed in on his female teacher, Kageishi Sumire, while she was changing into a swimsuit. He had his hand over her mouth, preventing any screams.

There you have it, I’m totally committing a crime here. And I don’t really have any excuse for this, I’m practically asking to be arrested here.

“S-Sorry. But, I couldn’t help it, okay… You understand, right?”

“…(Nod nod)”

As I lowered my voice so it wouldn’t leak through the walls, Sumire nodded with tears in her eyes, like a small animal caught in the fangs of a predator.

“Then, I’ll let go. No screaming or anything, okay?”

“…Puwah… Haaa… Haaa… What got into you so suddenly?”

“President Tsukinomori came in as a guest. You know, the company president from Honey Play.”

“Mashiro-chan’s father, right? The one who forced you to become her fake boyfriend.”

“Exactly. And one prerequisite is that I don’t have a lover. So it’d be extremely dangerous if he saw me here with you.”

“Ahh, so that’s why… I thought you’d suddenly awakened to your carnal desires…”

“Oi.”

That’s a word you’d only see in in an ero novel, you know? Though I didn’t really have any other choice, she’s still a woman. No doubt, she must have been scared. So I lowered my head and gave her an honest apology.

“I’m really sorry. Let me make up for it.”

“I-I see. Then, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t lower your head like that, just kidding~”

“Hm?”

I realized. Because of my apology, the PEACH&MELON swimsuit was right in the center of my vision. Normally, it would be hidden by her suit or jersey, but now there was nothing between us. It was a well-endowed chest, with milky-looking skin, barely held back by the jet-black swimsuit that revealed all too much. Hiding these two mounds with both of her hands, Sumire was twisting and turning her body around like a young, embarrassed maiden. Watching this, I could feel the blood rush to my head.

“S-Sorry for staring like that.”

“I-It’s fine. You couldn’t help it.”

When I averted my eyes and apologized, Sumire seemed to calm down a bit. Not just letting out a shriek out of embarrassment, she really is an adult. Though I’m a bit surprised that she, the one always blurting out embarrassing things and attracting attention, would show this sort of reaction. I guess you can’t really blame her, though. Normally she’s on the giving end of this sort of harassment, so she must feel uncomfortable having it happen to her. I really can’t let this situation continue for much longer. Deciding to use this chance to get away from President Tsukinomori and his lover(?), I put one hand on the curtain.

“Ahnn~ W-Wait, there’s an opening in the curtain… People outside will see…”

“Hehe, isn’t the thrill of this making you even more excited?”

“Oh you <3, I won’t hear any complaints if someone sees you.”

—How could I leave now, for f*ck’s sake. It’s far too risky.

“Seems like we’ll have to stay like this…a bit longer?”

“Yeah…”

Sumire gazed up at me, inquiring, and all I could do was nod along.

“………”

“Mmm… Uuu…”

Silence ensued. The zealous and enthusiastic sighs coming from Sumire reached my ears. I was alone with a female teacher, who was wearing quite the risky swimsuit, in an enclosed space. At this distance, both our warmth and even fragrances were mixing, making me even more conscious of her. If the tit-hungry boys from my class were in my shoes, they’d probably die out from stimulation. Not to mention that the temperature in the room next to ours was getting higher and higher.

“Mmm…Ahhh~ Your fingerwork is amazing. It’s like you know exactly how each and every one of them can satisfy me best.”

“Fu fu fu, they don’t call me the Pianist of the Night for nothing.”

“You say that, but only your wife knows about that, right? You were doing me the same way, but you were lucky that our compatibility was good, right?”

“…! H-Hoooh, how bold of you. Then, how about I take you to paradise as I play the Waltz?”

—Ahhh, there we fucking go! After the eroge lines, we’ve finally entered the ero novel territory! So there are actually people in reality who refer to a woman’s body as a musical instrument, huh? Today, my common sense feels like it’s being dashed about the room. And rather than focusing on taking her to paradise, how about you focus on obeying the law, Oji-san?

While the flirting and heated activities in the next room sped up even further, I tried my best to keep my reasoning under control.

“Haaa… Haaa… Mmm… Ah…”

Until I realized that Sumire’s breathing had grown rough. She was constantly throwing glances at me, and her ears were burning red through the openings in her hair. Is she…getting excited?

Well, who could blame her? Having her in front of me, wearing nothing but that revealing bikini, and with that porn-like BGM streaming into our ears, I found myself struggling to hold back my male urges. Not to mention that it was Sumire, of all people.

Before, all I could see her as was a virgin, a shotacon excuse of a teacher, just a normal member of the opposite sex, but now it feels like she’s just a normal girl—

“Haa…haa…I…can’t…anymore…can’t…hold back…”

“S-Sumire…sensei?”

“Ooboshi…kun. Would you…hear me out?”

“…! W-What is it?” I gulped.

This is it. This development. Don’t tell me.

Should we…do it as well?

This is how things will play out, right? This sort of event? Though it’s not like I’m the kind of person to scream out Hallelujah! Even so, could I just smoothly shake off a teacher’s temptations in such a charged sexual atmosphere? No, I can’t really. If I get swept along President Tsukinomori’s terrible actions, who knows what would happen. I have to avoid this kind of future at all costs. The balances within my chest were heavily swaying between reason and desire. And then, Sumire spoke up.

“This woman that’s been getting it on next to us is so dirty it’s killing me, don’t you think?”

“Thank you. Thank you for staying the same way.”

All my doubts and fears that I had withered and were blown away. Really, you could say that I was relieved. It’ll be a valuable experience in the future, realizing that getting swept along the desire to reproduce like animals isn’t a good feeling.

“I don’t know why you would thank me for that… Ah, I know. About the person next to us. From her tone and way of phrasing things, she seems to be used to this sort of thing, like she had no problems with things turning out like this, and that she might even have been aiming for it. And even so, she’s not taking action, just being worked on by him. Isn’t that super stimulating? Like, she loves getting the lead taken from her… Is she actually an M?! So by her talking about having good compatibility, that’s what she means…?!” Sumire started analyzing what was going on in the room next to ours, as she was working hard to hold back her own excitement.

I could only watch her in awe, as she pressed her flushed face against the wall.

“…So you’re getting excited about that. I was wondering what I would do if your target of stimulation was me.”

“Well~ I was a bit surprised as well, at first. My heart was beating really fast just because of Akiteru-sama, even though you’re not a shota, so I wondered what I would do if I actually wanted to do it. But now that I realized why it was happening, it’s all fine.”

“You know, making it sound like you don’t have the slightest interest in me makes me feel sad as a man.”

“If you were ten years younger, then maybe I could see you as a target.”

“Just why am I hearing such phrases come from a woman older than me?”

Normally it’d be the other way around, right? Well, I’ve heard that many women actually hope to find someone younger than them, so the stats I was thinking of might not even be relevant anymore. Either way, I’m glad that Sumire stayed the same Sumire as usual.

After Mashiro’s sudden appearance, the [5th Floor Alliance] has been greatly off balance, even more so after her confession. I shudder to think about what might have happened to the [5th Floor Alliance] were I to have fallen to her temptations.

After that, we just waited, wondering how long it would be before we were freed from such an awkward situation. But then, it happened. You know, that happened, the moment during sexual intercourse when their pleasure reaches its ‘peak’. I can’t exactly go into detail here, but through this opening, I somehow managed to escape the changing room. Really, I even got a cold sweat during that decisive moment. What did I do to deserve having to go through this kind of escape room scenario? Well, I’ll just go ahead and use this experience when I work on ‘Black Goat’ again.

*

“Ara~”

“What are you two doing, in a place like this?”

Right after my majestic escape from PEACH&MELON, I was waiting for Sumire to finish changing and shopping so we could regroup, when we ran into two familiar faces at the escalator on the way down.

“Aki…”

“A-Ahahaha~”

Mashiro and Iroha. Mashiro’s eyes opened wide out of shock, while Iroha awkwardly averted her gaze. Were they running around or something? I can see sweat building up on their faces.

“Finally found you. We were running around like crazy while search—Mghuh!”

“Ahahaha, what a coincidence to meet you here, Senpai! Mashiro-senpai and I just had a desire for a tapioca toast after school, so we came here. To think that the two of you were also here~ Ahh, to think that coincidences like this actually exist~”

Iroha suddenly jumped over to seal off Mashiro’s mouth, while she tried to explain our meeting. Also, tapioca toast? Are you two salarymen? No, what I think is that…

“You two were tailing us, right?”

““…!!!””

In one motion, both of them twitched and stood up straight. You two are way too easy to see through.

“Really… It’s bad manners to nose around others’ business. I’m sure you’ll try to tease me about it later, but there’s really nothing going on—” I quickly stopped myself mid-sentence.

Well, there was actually something going on. Something that you couldn’t just casually tell other people about.

“—How much did you see?”

“Eh? W-Why would you ask that?! Did you do something that bad?!”

The color of Iroha’s eyes changed as she bit at my words. Like a cat trying to scratch its claws at a tree, she was approaching me. Well, seems that I just dug my own grave, huh?At the least, it’s safe to assume that they didn’t see what happened at PEACH&LEMON.

“Aki… Explain yourself. Depending on your response, Mashiro might have to get Sensei fired.” Mashiro’s glare was lifeless, as it looked like circles of dark energy were swirling around her pupils.

Scary…!

“N-No… Nothing happened… you know?”

“What was that pause before ‘you know’?! It makes you more suspicious than anything, like we’re in a novel, you know?! You’re hiding something, I just know it!! Suspect Senpai, confess! Confess before Special Inspector Iroha-chan!”

“So noisy. There’s nothing I have to feel guilty about! …Nothing at all!”

“Lieeeees! The way you’re trying to cover your words totally makes it obvious that there’s some hidden meaning behind it. You’d be the type to flatly deny it if nothing really happened!”

“Shit, you sure know me well, huh…? Well, think whatever you want. Nothing happened. Nothing at all!”

“Cutlery, rope, fire…which one do you prefer?”

“Stop choosing murder weapons over there, Mashiro.”

You’re seriously scaring me.

“…Aha~”

As chaos ensued between the three of us, I could hear a dry laugh aimed towards us. Iroha, Mashiro, and I all turned around towards the source of the voice, only to find Sumire standing there with a loose grin on her face. She then proceeded to embrace Iroha and Mashiro, rubbing her cheeks against them.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I won’t steal Ooboshi-kun away! He belongs to the two of you, after all!”

“I’m not some object, though?”

“Shut up for a second, you harem bastard.”

“Right, right! Harem bastard Senpai!”

“Die, cheating harem bastard.”

A triple-combo of verbal abuses. Quite heavy ones, to top it off. Well, it’s true that I’m the only man in this group of four, so it might be as they say. But please bear in mind, one of them finds joy in annoying me all day long and teasing me. Another is a shotacon teacher of mine with whom no flags are raised, even after being cornered in a changing room, half-naked. Lastly, the only one with actual feelings for me is Mashiro. But for now, I’m only allowed to treat her as a cousin.

“Rather than that, we just had the idea of going to the sea with everyone from the [5th Floor Alliance], as well as Iroha-chan and Mashiro-chan from the 5th floor, so won’t you two join us? It’s finally summer break, so I want to forget about my deadlines and enjoy myself!”

“You’d better not be forgetting about those.”

“The sea sounds nice~! Let’s go to a place that has a fireworks festival while we’re at it!”

“Sea… Mashiro wants to go.”

My objection was ignored, as both Iroha and Mashiro voiced their agreement.

“The air is so fresh and delicious. The fish in the shallows, crabs on the beach, all of them are cute.”

“You sure love this sort of stuff, Mashiro-senpai. Your accessories have that seashell vibe as well.”

“Yeah. I can lose track of time just watching the sea.”

And also—Mashiro continued in a flustered manner, as her cheeks tinted a faint red.

“Speaking of the sea, a summer break date is orthodox. If Mashiro can go with Aki, she’ll be really happy.”

“Now listen, Mashiro. The two of us aren’t—”

“Something like this…should be fine, right?”

—Mashiro is your girlfriend, after all.

The last part, she whispered in a tone only I could hear, and gave me a soft smile. I was at a complete loss for words; I just averted my gaze.

“…Well, it’s still within the range of our contract, so it should be fine.”

“Yeah. And Mashiro will keep using that special privilege.”

“O…Okay…”

She hasn’t told Iroha or Sumire about us being fake lovers, right? Nor the fact that she actually has feelings for me, right? She’s been acting really close with me recently, so I’m starting to wonder if she’s serious about hiding it. Well, Iroha knows about it either way, so there’s no need to hide from her, I guess.

“Grrr… I-I know, Sumire-chansensei. Where’s that shop you bought the swimsuit at?” Iroha suddenly changed the topic.

“At the PEACH&LEMON on the second floor here, why?”

“Since we’re going to the sea, I want to get a new swimsuit for myself as well. And seeing that I’m already here, I might as well go buy one right now, one that’ll turn Senpai’s brain to mush!”

“Ah, then Mashiro as well. She only has her school swimsuit… Though she’s never used it, since she typically rests during class.”

“…!”

As the two of them were getting all fired up, I could feel a shiver run down my spine.

“No, let’s not go there. That store is a bad idea right now.”

After all, Mashiro’s father might still be partaking in his…activities. He might as well be done already, but knowing him, I doubt he’d be finished after just one round.

“Why is that? It’s just a normal shop, right?”

“Explain.”

At a loss as to how I should put it, I looked over at Sumire to ask for help. Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, your assistance please. Apparently she got the message, as she gave a deep nod.

“Let me agree on that. I do recommend PEACH&LEMON for Iroha-chan, but Mashiro-chan, you might be better off with the brand called CHERRY&BERRY, it suits you better.”

“What do you mean?” Mashiro yet again tilted her head in confusion.

In response, Sumire put one hand on her shoulder, giving her a wide grin, and gave a thumbs-up.

“It’s fine. I like all sizes. Even yours, Mashiro-chan.”

“Huh?”

Apparently, Sumire had gotten the wrong idea as to why I didn’t want to recommend PEACH&LEMON. Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, that’s quite cruel of you.

“Don’t you agree, Ooboshi-kun?”

“Don’t ask for my agreement here.”

In the end, everyone decided to get their swimsuits later, and we all went home together. After researching the CHERRY&BERRY brand online, Mashiro found out what Murasaki Shikibu-sensei meant with that recommendation. She was boiling with anger, but given the circumstances, I let it pass. Instead, I gave Murasaki Shikibu-sensei an earful.

*

「You harem bastard」

「Ozu, even you…?」

「No, I’m just representing everyone else you can’t hear.」

「Please don’t. It’ll just plague me for the rest of the—」

「You harem bastard」

「Ugh…」

5th Floor Alliance (4)

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

The plans for the sea trip are standing strong

[OZ]

That sure is sudden.

[Aki]

Well, it just happened with the flow of events from before. It's summer break and all, riht?

[OZ]

I seem the sea, huh? But won't I get sand in my laptop?

[Aki]

I think you can leave you laptop at home for once and enjoy yourself.

[Makigai Namako]

You guys are talking about something interesting.

[Aki]

How about you join us, Makigai-sansei? It'd be a nice? first-time offline meeting for us.

[Makigai Namako]

However, I'll have to decline the invitation this time.

[Makigai Namako]

Sounds great!

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

Ehhh? Whyyy? It's the sea! Youth! Beautiful girls in swimsuits!

[Makigai Namako]

You're clearly no longer at the age to enjoy youth like that.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

That's exactly why! I have to enjoy the youth I couldn't enjoy in my own student days!

[OZ]

Well, it's true that this kind of thing happens a lot recently.

[OZ]

Fellow otaku going camping, going to the gym. All due to the influence of anime.

[Makigai Namako]

Well, it's not like I don't understand where you're coming from.

[Makigai Namako]

Thore kiddos are also participating, right? Kohinata Iroha and Tsukinomori Mashiro, was it?

[Aki]

Eh? Did I ever tell you?

[Makigai Namako]

You didn't have to. You seem to be getting really close to them recently.

[OZ]

Well, they're always with us during our parties.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

Even more of a reason to join us! you can ogle two JK's swimsuit figures!

[Makigai Namako]

Not interested.

[Makigai Namako]

Also, the deadline is a bit close this time...

[Aki]

For your next book?

[Makigai Namako]

Yeah. A lot happened recently, so I wasn't able to make much progress.

[Aki]

Possibly because you were working on that scenario...?

[Makigai Namako]

Well, that's one part of it.

[Makigai Namako]

But don't sweat it. I did it because I wanted to.

[Makigai Namako]

Don't worry, I won't put the blame on you if I miss my deadline.

[Aki]

You don't Have to rush with the next scenario. I'll go ahead and adjust the schedule a bit.

[Makigai Namako]

Thanks for the consideration, but I'll try my best to not fall behind.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

So Makigai-sansei won't join...? What a shame...

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

I'll take lots of pictures for you then, so look forward to it!

[OZ]

Are you a demon or something?

[Aki]

You're clearly just rubbing it in his face now, aren't you?

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

It's his fault for not coming! Just accept my kindness!

[Makigai Namako]

I'll go ahead and block Shikibu then.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]

Why?!

[Makigai Namako]

Lol.

[Makigai Namako]

Still, I have to do something about the deadline, huh...?

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