Will of chaos

Pov Barerosa:

“What are you truly proud of?” (???)

“…” (me)

“(What am I proud of…?)” (me)

Such a simple question, yet so difficult to answer. If it were in the past, I could answer that being an Ascendant was my pride, but now it seems that these two pairs of wings weigh too much.

In my mind, everything I could say was a source of pride in the past was destroyed by what I learned before this truth.

Whether it was the Ascendants, the people of this universe, my duty in the hierarchy, everything I called achievements and even serving those of a higher rank, all of this was a source of pride for me, but now it’s all gone.

“Don’t think too much when the true answer is already in your heart.” (???)

“Stop lying to yourself!” (???)

“…” (me)

Suddenly I was lost in those words, and that’s when I sat on the floor of the porch looking up where the branches of the Universal Tree were visible, flows of colored energy coming and going from all directions in an ever-changing cycle.

Suddenly an image formed in front of me, long red hair, different colored eyes and dark skin, a calm face with deep eyes always seeming to think about something.

“(Why did he appear in my mind…?)” (me)

He was the one responsible for all of this, the one responsible for this pain, the one responsible for destroying everything I believed in and the one responsible for trapping me here.

I should hate him, I should feel angry at him, I should want to kill him for all of this, but I can’t.

The more my thoughts revolve around him, the more I get lost about what I should feel and what I felt before, I once admired and respected him deeply.

Every part of my mind is confused, he could have killed me, it would have been easy for both him and me, he could have deceived me and there is still the possibility that he is doing exactly that, yet the simple fact that I am still alive here and so free, makes me more confused.

I look at the medallion, I can feel that Aura and presence waiting for my answer, but what I can also feel is a freedom similar to what I felt in his Aura.

A freedom from Rules, a Law that did not restrict him but complemented him, a pride in being the way he is.

He was so different from the other Ascendants, his mind always seemed free, the creativity in his plans, the certainty in his voice, the confidence in his every move, the way he used his secondary Laws as freely as his main Law and especially the way his eyes shone brighter than the stars.

“(I got lost in those eyes…)” (me)

I knew I was trapped in him, I wanted to be more like him, I wanted to learn from him, I wanted to be close to him, but he was fake, he wasn’t an Ascendant and yet he had our power in his hands, mastered far beyond what we were capable of.

“So many wings…” (me)

“How ridiculous, the three thrones fighting to reach level 5 while he’s already advancing to level 6…” (me)

Sigh

“Pride…” (me)

“(Why can’t I stop thinking about him…?)” (me)

I looked at the medallion again, his question thinking of me as if I were a mountain, it was such a simple question and at the same time so complex, I realized that I had to be honest with myself, which wasn’t easy to do, he was involved in that answer and I didn’t know how involved he was no matter how much I tried to think.

I started thinking about everything I liked about him, trying to find something I could be proud of, but time passed without me realizing it, minutes turned into hours and I couldn’t answer that simple question.

Then suddenly the answer came to me, my thoughts were in the wrong place, I was looking at him instead of looking at myself, I was trying to find my answer in everything I liked about him as if it were natural, the answer is there, I’m proud of him.

“No, I’m not proud of him per se, but yes…” (me)

Suddenly I stood up and turned back to the stars surrounding this Palace, my mind became clearer and my body felt lighter, the answer came to my lips much more easily as if I had been repressing it for a long time.

“I’m proud to be by his side, watching everything he did was fun, following his orders made me feel needed and being by his side made me feel unique, that’s because in his eyes I wasn’t a subordinate, someone below him in the hierarchy or an Ascendant… he was just seeing Barerosa… he was just seeing me… he recognized me for who I was and I clung to that…” (me)

It was like a bomb exploded in my mind, the reason I clung to him was so selfish and one-sided, in his mind I was first Barerosa, then I was Ascendant and finally thirdly an enemy.

He recognized me as an individual, I noticed that at first glance, I knew he wasn’t friendly and it should have been obvious that something was wrong, Ernani also noticed that and that was the reason for his disgust as well as the other Ascendants.

Almost all Ascendants are traitors or cowards from the memories that Zenos gave me, they are individuals who became Ascendants by betraying their universes or to survive after their universes were conquered by the Ascendants, because of that they were not sensitive to being grafted out of the hierarchy as individuals.

“They didn’t want to recognize themselves, but for me it was the first time…” (me)

When I became an Ascendant it was the first time I recognized myself, it was one of the happiest days of my life, but other than that, I was never recognized by anyone, for those of my people I was considered an Ascendant above them, for the Level 1 Ascendants at the time I was just another companion who would serve alongside them, for those above me I was just another subordinate.

Even when I became a Level 2 Ascendant, I was still seen as a subordinate, a leader or a fellow Ascendant, but none of them ever saw me as Barerosa, they never recognized me as an individual.

Even during the campaigns of conquest I participated in I was treated only as the Ascendant, the enemy of the universe, the invader and I was repudiated as such.

“He was the first to see Barerosa, I felt proud to be recognized by myself when I became an Ascendant and even more proud when I was recognized by him as if I had been affirmed as myself.” (me)

“Yes, you feel proud of the recognition as an individual, a very selfish and at the same time sincere act of pride.” (???)

“Who are you? Why is an agent of the Pride talking to me!?” (me)

I knew exactly what that voice was, that Aura and presence were similar to those I felt from the Avatar of War Ayden during an occasion when I saw him for the first time, he was so different from the Ascendants in every way that it was impossible not to remember that power, I also heard through the Level 3 Ascendants that his power was garlic called Concept.

Researching the flow of information in our universe I learned that Concept was the power of the Entities and those who manipulate these powers are agents of the Entities.

Only a few Entities were listed there, but Pride was one of them. I also know that only the Entity of War is considered an ally of the Ascendants, so having an agent of the Pride talking to me now was strange, especially through a medallion that Zenos left behind.

“I am not an agent of the Pride, Ascendant child.” (???)

“I am the main Avatar of the Pride, Ohara!” (Ohara)

“I am the supreme Empress, and my figure will be revered for eternity for my innumerable beauty, ability, and achievement!” (Ohara)

“You may just call me Ohara for now.” (Ohara)

“…” (me)

“(A pride as great as what I read in the past.)” (me)

“What does someone like you want from me? Why did Zenos give me this medallion?” (me)

“Child, I asked Zenos for a favor, a favor that he fulfilled perfectly by giving this medallion to you after opening your mind to the truth.” (Ohara)

“So I’m alive, because of you…?” (me)

“(He only left me alive because of her request…?)” (me)

“(Why do I feel sad about this…?)” (me)

“Don’t be fooled by my words, he already intended to leave you alive, he just had different plans about what he sought as a vice before.” (Ohara)

“He wanted to test transforming an Ascendant into something else, that’s why he captured you and other Ascendants.” (Ohara)

“He wanted to transform you into something that could be considered an ally for him even if forced.” (Ohara)

Somehow this made me feel relieved, thinking that the only one who recognized me did this at someone else’s request scared me more than dying at his hands as an enemy or being forced as an ally by him.

“What do you want from me?” (me)

“I don’t want anything from you, I want you… I’ve waited a long time for this and I want you to be my daughter.” (Ohara)

“Your daughter? You’re crazy.” (me)

“Don’t worry about anything, just let the power of the medallion flow into your body, my bloodline and the Concept of Pride are in it, your body and power will be transformed by it.” (Ohara)

“Why would I accept such a…” (me)

“Would you rather continue as an Ascendant? For those of us with pride, everything we do is of our own free will, Pride only puts us in places where our wills align.” (Ohara)

“You would have a body of your own with even greater beauty, your power would be yours alone and not an Ascendant counterfeit, most importantly, everything you do will be your achievement as an individual, including your power.” (Ohara)

“…” (me)

It was a difficult proposal to refuse, I no longer wanted to be an Ascendant, I no longer wanted this false power that is not part of me, I did not want to be recognized as something I am not, the temptation to change sprouted within me.

“But why be your daughter?” (me)

“Because I want a daughter, I have many sons and I really wanted a daughter.” (Ohara)

“Why me?” (me)

“Why not you?” (Ohara)

“…” (me)

“I accept…” (me)

“Not like that.” (Ohara)

“Say it with conviction and Will!” (Ohara)

“I accept!” (me)

Ding!

“Welcome, my dear daughter… hahahahahaha!” (Ohara)

The power flowed from the medallion into my body and my mind went blank being pulled somewhere, the last thing I felt was being held back by someone with a proud smile on their lips as they laughed.

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